Will You Be Made Whole? (Part 4 - Abuse & Relationships)

This topic was dropped on my spirit on my way to work this morning, and it also disturbed me to the point that I had to talk to God about this on my way home from work. After working out late this afternoon, the real meaning of this was revealed and as a result, here’s a blogpost about a topic that is healing for me, and for those who need a healing as a result of childhood abuse and/or domestic abuse. Please brace yourself for this (and grab some tissue just in case), as we heal together.

The desire to love someone is a beautiful thing. But you know it can be a daunting task if there are some unresolved issues from childhood. I didn’t realize it during my high school years and a good portion of my 20s and 30s. Speaking for me, I refuse to go into my 42nd year of life (starting tomorrow) going backwards with no progress. In fact, I speak healing over my life and over everyone that needs a healing right now, so I believe we are all healed right now (yes, this is by faith until we see the manifestation).

Using my life as the base for this post, I would like to share what are some ramifications that can occur if unresolved issues from childhood aren’t resolved. You’re probably thinking, “You’re just now realizing this?” Well, I believe the Lord will reveal it when we’re ready to take it head on and/or we’re capable of understanding the purpose behind it.

I started my 10th grade year in 1989 in a new school. My father received orders to Germany before the school year began so we moved there and I started the 10th grade there. There were two high school friends that stick out to me as I type this post (one already knows about this post, as I shared the base of this post with her) – in fact they were new to the school as I was (and we met during New Student Orientation – something to that effect). The first friend was Carla and the second friend (the one who knows about this) was LaShaunda. Let me start with Carla first.

Carla was in the same grade as me, and I remember just being so wrapped up in her (and I believe that I carried her books at one time), but she wouldn’t even give me the time of day. She would leave Germany after our 11th grade year. I’ll come back to Carla later on as we reconnected in 2010 via Facebook.

LaShaunda was a freshman, and I remember her having a boyfriend the first 5 months of the school year. One day after they broke up, we were talking at the Laundromat and she made a comment to me that resonated to my 15-year-old mind. She said, “I am a one man woman, and all I want is a one woman man.” That really made me think about how I should carry myself, as I was becoming a man. As the summer progressed, she was very instrumental in furthering my pursuit for Christ. I was searching for Christ during the midst of my abuse (which I’ll share parts of it as it relates to relationships in a moment), but for her to say that she was trying to get right with the Lord made me desire to go deeper in my quest. Of course, we became special friends at that time (and granted, we’re still friends today). When I asked her out, she said something to me then that I didn’t understand, but I understand it now as God was revealing something to me today. She said, “I can’t be with you because you think of me more than yourself, and you think I’m God’s gift to the world, I’m not.” Back then, I didn’t understand, and yes, I cried my eyes out.

So what is the message in the midst of what she said? First of all, if you have been abused in childhood (this also includes, abandoned, rejected or neglected), there’s a strong chance that you will have a skewed view of a healthy relationship if it was never addressed via counseling. In fact, because of the abuse, there’s a level of emotional and mental pain that was never addressed and I can’t forget the manipulation piece. That manipulation piece damaged the psyche of the mind. I know it did for me. A little off subject, but it’s true: if you have been abused in a marriage relationship, manipulation, which is a tactic of the devil, can literally destroy someone spiritually, mentally, financially and emotionally. And when the demonic spirit grabs hold of someone, it will plant seeds such as “you’re the one who caused it.”  Back to the message of what she was saying to me. Second, because no love was found in the house you grew up in as a result of the abuse, there’s a strong chance of trying to find someone who will appreciate you and indirectly, you actually make either the person or the concept of “love” an idol. And God is a jealous God. That’s the revelation that I received today. Third, I made reference to there being a strong chance of trying to find someone who will appreciate you. If God is not consulted, there’s a possibility that God will not mandate the relationship and it will be pure hell. He wants to protect us, but at the same time, give yourself some credit if you messed up. He’s a forgiving God. For most of us, when we were young and have been through something traumatic, we didn’t have a full understanding of God. I know I didn’t even though I was on my quest, so a lot of choices and decisions were made based on my emotions (yes, I was feeling emotions like Mariah Carey at that time of my life – smile). I don’t know what background you grew up in, if they were deep in church (even though they abused, neglected or abandoned you), there’s a possibility that your view of God may be warped as a result of what you had to endured.

What were some things that were going on in the house that I grew up in that gave me a skewed view of relationships?

1. Without question, there was sexual abuse and physical abuse from a family member who lived in the house (and was overlooked).
2. There was gas lighting that permeated the house on a consistent basis. How did it come? For me, my sexuality was questioned by my family including the family member who abused me) because I didn’t have a girlfriend. The way you act around the house shows signs that you’re immature (of course, being autistic was never questioned).
3. Even though I was the only one who was interested in God during my childhood, my parents were the most anti-church group of people you ever wanted to meet.

So how did I go through high school? Well, I stayed to myself a lot. You could say my anxiety levels were extremely high (due to my undetected autism, and survival). I was trying to find an out and someone to appreciate me – sadly I had no concept of love at all. And granted, when I went through school, I was considered immature because of my undetected autism. I was different, and that I was only good for being a friend.

You could say that my childhood really affected my concept of relationships, and trying to find something that would bring me joy. Well, the irony of that was in 1996, I believe the Lord wanted me to rid of every woman that I was supposedly interested in so that I could make an intelligent decision to give my life to Him.

Still in the healing process, there were some things that I did that I thought was God, but the truth was, it was me and putting God’s name on it (knowing full well, that was all me). How many of you can testify to this? The beauty of God is that He knows my flaws, my mental and emotional stability, and He’s the only one who loves me regardless (the same holds true for you too). He wants a relationship with me, just like He wants one with you.

Oh yes, you’re probably wondered what happened when I reconnected with Carla via Facebook. Well, she apologized for how she treated me. I accepted her apology and I apologized for how I treated her. I also stated that I was in a time in life where I was attracted to any woman who had a pulse.

Why was that? For me, it was cover up a lot of pain that I had inside (remember, I was 15, and I was dealing with so much abuse since childhood). The more I think about it, middle school and high school for me was really about who could rap, who could dance, and who had a girlfriend. Well, I could rap (and sing), I couldn’t dance, and I sure didn’t have a girlfriend. You could say that I went through a lot of my life hurt and lonely, and couldn’t figure out why. Well, when I realized that the abuse had done so much damage to me, lately, I have had to let the Lord speak to me as I now understand the art of ‘shut yo’ mouth!’

Most of my 20s and 30s was spent with a wall up to protect my heart because of the pain that I had endured. For me, it became a norm even as the Lord is breaking some of them even as I type this. But at the same time, most of the problems in this arena actually resided with me. Now, the actual abuse was NOT my fault. And if you have been abused, rejected or abandoned either in childhood or due to a bad relationship, that is NOT your fault. I don’t care if so-called friends and even church members say that it is. They are lying to you and leaguing with the devil to further prevent your healing process.

I know for many reading this, this is a hard thing to do – to look at the abuse you suffered to see if this plays a role in the committed relationships you’ve been in (or lack of – like me). But the God that I serve wants to heal those wounds and scars in you and me. He wants to heal our mental and emotional psyche that the devil is striving to destroy within us. Jesus is asking each of us, “Will You Be Made Whole?” I pray that you will man up (or woman up) and say yes even though this healing of abuse process is difficult. One more thing, know that you may not ever get closure from the ones who abused you, abandoned you, rejected you, or neglected you (I’m referring to childhood here, not domestic abuse). If you give God those parts that you desire closure in, He will bring you closure. Surrender the BAM (bitter, angry, mean) state to Him so that He can give you a heart to forgive them (but more importantly, forgive yourself). We deserve to be free, we deserve to have our years restored, and we deserve to be made whole! If we desire to be in a relationship (even after all that we endured in life), we deserve full healing in our lives because it’s God’s will that we be made whole! Healing is the children’s bread. He’s waiting on us to come to Him and lay ourselves before Him. He loves us so much.

If this blogpost wasn’t for anybody else, this was definitely for me.

Blessings,

The Mayne Man

Who Are You Listening To?

If you’re on social media and have read my morning posts from yesterday and today, you’ll see that I’m talking about people who may have your best interest at heart, but the truth is, many don’t fully understand (and granted, they can’t understand) the promise that God has for you. In fact, many will not be able to understand what you truly believe. It always bothered me for years about how some people (believers & unbelievers) will go out of their way to make you seem crazy just because they don’t believe the Bible or because their faith isn’t where yours is. The primary objective of people doing such a thing as this, is to make you question what you truly believe. Many legalistic Christians will do this, but the root is strictly from the devil. Think about it, the devil took the Word of God and twisted it to tempt Christ. I said all of that to say this, no one who reads the Bible or knows the Bible but twists it to make you crazy or play Pharisee with you should tell you what it says.

They always say, “if that were me!” The problem is, it’s not them! 1 Corinthians 2:14 says (from the Message Bible):  The unspiritual self, just as it is by nature, can’t receive the gifts of God’s Spirit. There’s no capacity for them. They seem like so much silliness. Spirit can be known only by spirit—God’s Spirit and our spirits in open communion.

This issue is damaging so many believers within the Body of Christ. We’re so legalistic and want to play God to the point that we’re hurting others. It’s one thing that the devil and his demons are after us, but it’s more of a tragedy when it’s coming from people who say they are Christians.

Let me use the realm of relationships as a perfect example.

Psalm 1 says blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly. There are many believers who are giving advice that’s ungodly (granted, that lacks any form of common sense). Why is this? Many are trying to play God and not allowing God to be God. The Bible says “do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14). But we’re turn around and tell Christians, they can go ahead and marry an unbeliever because God gave Hosea the right to do that in the Old Testament. Newsflash: even though this happen, this was under the old covenant, and God is actually showing a picture between the relationship between God and the children of Israel.

And then we’ll turn around and say God can save your husband and/or wife. This is true, He can, but at the same time, but under the new covenant, we’re not to be unequally yoked. And then we have the audacity to tell believers, don’t divorce your unbelieving spouse (even though they went into the marriage with an unbeliever – which you approved) while he’s beating the living daylights out of you, he’s financially bankrupted you, separated you from your church brothers and sisters, and the minute you think about leaving, he’s beating you with a baseball bat. And we legalistic Christians are saying, God approves of your marriage.  How in the world can we allow a Christian to become part of a far country – to the point where we’re like the prodigal son? Praise God the prodigal son made it back, some people don’t make it back, so why would you want to take that chance? And oh yes, telling an unbeliever they are to submit to the Bible is a waste of time, considering they have not made Christ Savior and Lord. Yes, God can save them, but we as believers should be lovingly tell each other that they can find someone that’s saved and loves God with His heart. But you must discern, because many have played the front, walked down the aisle with the woman, and then BAM, the angel of light became a devil that is about to shred your life in every area of your life. And we brothers and sisters need to be standing in prayer for each other, and for the life of me, stop putting the institution of marriage on a pedestal as an idol (caring more for that than over the woman who is actually living in fear for her life).

Ok, I think I beat a dead horse on that, let’s move to the next thing. The counsel of the ungodly can actually come from people who hold a position within the five-fold ministry (apostle, prophet, evangelist, pastor and teacher). So many especially on social media have puffed themselves up to the point where they will twist the Bible around to gain followers, or they are so much in a BAM state (bitter, angry and mean) to the point that they’re preying on believers who are in a BAM state. What does that do? Create chaos when we are to show love, compassion and healing. Being in a BAM state especially in a five-fold is ungodly. I understand the zealousness, I understand the passion, but where’s the love? And granted, you don’t have to prove you are a five-fold by wearing your title like people need to bow down to it. If anything, that’s playing Pharisee.

Listen, the premise of this post is to say that it’s time for us to see things with our spiritual eyes. People are hurting, and where we seek advice from can make or break a believer. We’re not praying for them, interceding for them, but we are sure shouting that it’s a new season and a new day (and praise God for that). Please watch who you’re taking advice from and who you’re following.

Blessings,

The Mayne Man

Emotional Deposits In Relationships

Back in March of this year, I did a series on FB entitled Relationship 101 (and I posted it on my blog in the same month). Within the series, I was talking about the importance of "emotional deposits." And someone wanted me to expound on this (which I did 3/18/14). If you're married or single, there are some nuggets in this for you. So sit back and get ready to receive.

What are emotional deposits? Let's break this up in two parts: in a bank, you make deposits and withdrawals. Deposits are where you're putting something in, and withdrawals are where you're taking out what you put in. What are emotions? They are what a person feels (whether good or bad). You can put in good deposits and take out good deposits (via a withdrawal). Before I dive deep into this, let's look at Song of Solomon for a brief moment. Here we find the man depositing into his newly bride (in 4:9-11): You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride; you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace. How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much better is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your oils than any spice! Your lips drip nectar, my bride; honey and milk are under your tongue; the fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon. 

That right there, whew! Now what woman wouldn't want to hear that! I could do an entire lesson on that, but that's a great example of an emotional deposit. Now let's look at the bride making an emotional deposit to her husband (from 5:10-16)

My beloved is radiant and ruddy, distinguished among ten thousand. His head is the finest gold; his locks are wavy, black as a raven. His eyes are like doves beside streams of water, bathed in milk, sitting beside a full pool. His cheeks are like beds of spices, mounds of sweet-smelling herbs. His lips are lilies, dripping liquid myrrh. His arms are rods of gold, set with jewels. His body is polished ivory, bedecked with sapphires. His legs are alabaster columns, set on bases of gold. His appearance is like Lebanon, choice as the cedars. His mouth is most sweet, and he is altogether desirable. This is my beloved and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem. 

That right there! She's showing him respect (and making an emotional deposit into him). 

Both of those out together sum up Ephesians 5:21-33. 

You see, just like parents make "emotional deposits" into their children's life, spouses need to make emotional deposits" into each other. For this particular post, I'm focusing on the husband making deposits into his wife. I will always say this when I talk about emotional deposits: no man should make an emotional deposit just to get into a woman's drawers!!! 

Emotional deposits (from a marriage standpoint) is where you are speaking life and encouragement to each other with no ulterior motives. Will my marriage friends help me out with this (and comment)? Continuing on, when a man makes emotional deposits into his wife, he loves her and cherishes her as his help. He's not after the sex, or manipulating her mind, physically or emotionally abusing her; he knows that he can't just treat her any kind of way. A real man makes emotional deposits into his wife because he knows that his success is tied into hers, and the better he is to her, the better she is to him, and the better he is, period! He wants her to succeed, so he'll speak words to encourage her to succeed in the natural and spiritual realm. He wants her to fulfill the dream He gave her, so He will pray for her, cover her and speak words that will help her, propel her to be all that God wants her to be. Emotional deposits are not to be manipulated for selfish purposes. True emotional deposits should show agape love!

For those men who are just trying to get into her drawers or to treat her violently, yeah you'll deposit something when you initially speak into her life, but the moment you act selfish, you would've used up everything in that account you deposited (faster than when you initially deposited into her life).

One of my sister friends said this as I was preparing this: Some people go into marriage making constant withdrawals until the account is overdrawn. It's very important that you make deposits daily in your marriage to avoid insufficient funds and you work on keeping your marriage in a positive cash flow. 

I agree with her in that marriages fail because they fall into a state of bankruptcy (i.e., loss of peace, joy, harmony, communication, intimacy, honesty, loyalty) leaving each other feeling angry, bitter, and feeling used.

I want to pause for a moment because there might be someone single asking, what about us singles? Granted, I'm single (for the moment), so it would be an honor to address this question. There are some things you can do & say and there are some things you can NOT do and say. The key here is to not defraud your brother or sister (i.e., live-in boyfriend/girlfriend). Single Men, every single woman you come in contact with is your sister. Single Women, every single man you come in contact with is your brother. Singles should not be doing things that are only reserved for marital relationships. Sex is obvious of course, how we relate to others is one that gets overlooked. I can't fully cover a woman like a husband does (in this blog, I'm referring to a man of God). But I can pray for my sister (while allowing God to teach me what the role of a husband is - and observing Godly marriages). How do I make emotional deposits into a single woman that I'm interested in? First, I make her the focus of my prayer (with no ulterior motive), ensure boundaries are set in that relate to her as a friend (ensuring that neither of us defraud each other), keep my emotions in tact (sadly, sins such as fornication and adultery can come when emotions of both parties are out of whack), speak life to her, and know that I'm accountable to God for how I treat my sister in Christ. 

One more thing before I jump back to the married folks. Single men specifically need to know this: when you are relating to a woman, your fist should never be used. You are proving that you don't understand emotional deposits and that you're not ready for marriage or any relationship. If you are degrading women and yourself with negative talk, you do not need to be trying to talk to a woman. Emotional deposits are dangerous when misapplied because you are damaging a woman and you will bring judgment over your life. The same holds true for single women who do the same thing.

Deposits in a bank account (now I'm an accountant by profession), are there for emergencies. You need to constantly make deposits every day (when you feel like it and when you don't feel like it). 

If you have been hurt before due to a bad relationship (or if you've never been in a relationship before): make sure you discern a person's true intention. You can tell if a person's honest or not by their heart (most cases, you can determine that from first meeting or communication. When people don't understand covenant relationships mentally, emotionally & spiritually, they will not be able to sow emotional deposits into their significant other (no matter how hard they try). In fact, they will overdraft on the account (and those fees are high). 

My sister friend brought up a great point. There may some people reading this who are in a blended family (or about to enter a relationship with someone who has children), let's talk briefly about emotional deposits in this case. Using myself as an example: if I marry a woman who has a child or children from prior relationship, emotional deposits are not JUST for her and treating her child or children with contempt. I am to make deposits into her offspring's life because if she's a part of me, then whatever else of hers is a part of me. 

And this is me (not The Lord) talking when I close this blogpost. Some of you know when you're receiving the emotional support that you so need. Seek The Lord (and not others) when you feel it's time to close the account. Think about it, in banks, if you don't keep a certain amount of funds in a bank account, you will get hit with a monthly charge (and if you have zero dollars, your account will be hit with overdraft fees). And because this is October (domestic violence awareness month, it's fair that I say this. Men & Women, the moment you make a deposits into your spouse, and then you turn around and neglect, have an affair,  verbally abuse, emotionally abuse or physically abuse your spouse and children, you will withdraw everything that you deposited that fast. 

Emotional deposits start from the heart and with a relationship with God (and it's not just for your mate). 

Blessings.

The Mayne Man

Why Doctors Don't Prescribe Meds First For PTSD

I initially wrote this blog July 21, 2014 and now I'm releasing it. I believe the time now is appropriate for this blog.

I am in the middle of reading a secular book entitled PTSD for Dummies. As someone who was diagnosed with this in 2008, I just wanted to read not only for my healing, but to understand what it’s about as well as what are ways to be cured from PTSD. So far, from what I’ve read, CBT (cognitive behavior therapy) is one way – and what that boils down to is replacing distortional thoughts that were brought on as a result of the trauma from the past (whether it be childhood sexual abuse, rape, domestic violence, emotional abuse from a relationship or from childhood, etc.) or even things recent (such as a family loss). The following chapter was talking about medications. I was really interested to see what this chapter was going to be all about, and the first paragraph caught my attention. This is what it says:

These days we have a pill for just about everything, from balding heads to overactive bladders. Thus, many people are surprised that doctors don’t treat PTSD simply by writing a prescription for some new wonder drug. But drugs, although they have their place in treating PTSD, aren’t number one on the list of treatment approaches – and often, patients don’t need them at all.

I couldn’t agree more with that paragraph if I tried. As I think about the medical (health-care) system, everything is now about putting somebody on medication and the end result is more damage done to the human body. And I commend those doctors that don’t just grab their prescription pad immediately to have someone pop a pill. Now, I’m not saying that all medication is bad. There are more serious conditions that merit it. When it comes to trauma, dealing with the mind is what’s really needed. Just like a body gets sick, a brain gets sick.

A real-life story: my first medical doctor diagnosed me with PTSD and she immediately grabbed her pad to prescribe me with Zoloft. I, of course, gave her one more chance to reconsider the second time I would visit her. She upped the stakes the second time and sought to prescribe me with Seroquel. The first medication was an anti-anxiety depressant, the second was psychotic. What baffled me when she sought to prescribe the latter drug; she went down the list of pros and cons. The cons were about 2-3 times more than the pros (and I was going to have to have my blood examined to see if I’m able to take it). At that point, I looked at her and said I must be psychotic if I take this and I left her office to never return to that therapist again. I sought another therapist recommended by a medical doctor in my church and he said straight up, you don’t need medication. In fact, he stated my gift of writing was a life saver. And he referred me to a LCSW (licensed counselor social worker). Now if you know me, you know I’m good at challenging people. Believe me, I give my LCSW a hard time every now and then, but we have that understanding.

The message: why was I so hard on the medical profession (and why am still hard on them today)? Because I believe that our health is worth fighting for. The last thing that’s needed is for the medical system to make a profit off of us while at the same time, causing unnecessary illnesses via a medicine that we really don’t need.

Anyway, back to the original lesson: I’m so glad the book stated that many doctors don’t prescribe medication as a first resort for PTSD.

If you’re someone going through the healing process and are diagnosed with any of the following: PTSD, OCD, and possibly Biploar or Borderline Personality Disorder, seek therapy and also let these Bible passages calm your mind and spirit (and don’t be afraid to pull from the roots the thoughts that are trapping you and paralyzing you): Philippians 4:13; Matthew 5:7; Luke 4:18; 2 Corinthians 5:17; Isaiah 61:3; Philippians 4:8; Galatians 6:9; Mark 11:25-26.

I encourage you wherever you are to never stop fighting for your healing and your health.

Blessings:

The Mayne Man

Domestic Abuse in America

According to the National Center for PTSD, here are some staggering statistics about domestic abuse and other types of partner abuse. Now these statistics were about 5 years ago, but I can only imagine that the statistics are higher now in 2014:

1. At least once in their lifetimes, 20-30% of American women are physically abused by a partner.
2. Each year, 1.3 million women and more than 800,000 men are physically assaulted by an intimate partner.
3. More than 200,000 women are raped by an intimate partner each year.
4. Of those in same-sex relationships, 11% of women and 23% of men are raped, otherwise physically assaulted, and/or stalked by an intimate partner.
5. More than 500,000 women & 185,000 men are stalked by an intimate partner each year.
6. Of all women's emergency-room visits, 30-40% are for injuries due to domestic violence.
7. Fifty percent of men who assault their female partners also assault their children.
8. Each year, 3.3 million children witness acts of domestic violence.

This needs to change!

The Mayne Man

My Life With PTSD

I'm reading a book about PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), because I'm in therapy for it (as a result of surviving child sexual abuse - I share a little of this in the Author's Note of Deaf, Dumb, Blind & Stupid), and I believe I am called to educate those who are blind to what we deal with.

There's a paragraph within the book that goes like this: to a casual observer, people living with PTSD seem to be doing fine. The truth is, they are battling symptoms that, if left untreated, make it difficult or impossible for them to hold down jobs, have meaningful relationships, or achieve their goals and dreams.

What is the message: don't assume that a person is fine on the surface and pass them by. Always have your discernment light on and be available to offer an encouraging word (not to get them off your back), but one that shows that you love them and are with them.

One thing I find when it comes to PTSD is that some people can be callous to what PTSD really is, but what we all need to understand is this: when Vietnam war veterans ended up with PTSD, they were met with little sympathy. Why? Because the protests showed hatred to those involved especially those soldiers who had no choice (the draft). Sadly, many PTSD patients are treated as if this disorder is a sign of weakness. 

Another thing that comes to mind is that the media will focus more on war veterans who develop PTSD (and I stand with them as I am a fellow veteran) than they will those who develop PTSD as a result of rape, sexual abuse, domestic violence, etc. I am willing to believe the media doesn't want to address PTSD among us survivors because they will have to give an account as to why they are glorifying the abusers/rapists and cursing the victims & survivors (and even the more when victims commit suicide).

In closing: though I am in therapy, I am commuted to my healing to fully thrive and I encourage all of my fellow survivors to be committed to their healing. We can't be victims forever. And I believe our stories are a testimony to the fact that we are still alive and that we are here for a divine purpose. I stand with you survivors and I love you all! The best is yet to come for us in 2014!

Blessings

The Mayne Man

My Voice (As A Survivor) Is My Weapon

I dedicate this post to anyone who is a survivor of any type of abuse (but especially child sexual abuse & domestic abuse). Your voice is a powerful weapon if you use it correctly - and I'll explain as you read.

There's a story in Luke 18:2-8 that will validate this point. Let's start in verse 2: He (being Jesus) said, "In a certain city there was a judge who neither feared God nor respected man. Now let's think about it, how many judges, lawyers or anybody in the judicial system don't even respect human life? 

Verse 3: And there was a widow in that city who kept coming to him and saying, 'Give me justice against my adversary.' Now what is an adversary? It's an opponent, your enemy in relation to a court proceeding. She's asking the judge for justice. Now, this isn't a one time thing. Let's keep reading. Verses 4-5: For a while he refused, but afterward he said to himself, 'Though I neither fear God nor respect man, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will give her justice, so that she will not beat me down by her continual coming.'" Notice she didn't cease from justice. I would venture to say that she was diligent, didn't break any laws or take matters into her own hands. This is very critical. Now verses 6-8: And the Lord said, "Hear what the unrighteous judge says. And will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long over them? I tell you, he will give justice to them speedily. 

Now, I need to drive this point home. God's timetable is not our timetable. Remember not to overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day (2 Peter 3:8). So what do we do, stay diligent, stay strong, and let your voice be heard for it is a powerful weapon. Justice is life (but justice is standing for what is dear to God, and we as survivors are dear to God).

Now, some of us may feel that we will never be heard because we aren't celebrities. Remember, your voice (if used in love) is a powerful weapon. Your story is your weapon to break the chains off of you and someone else. At the same time, be careful that your words are seasoned with salt so that you don't injure your fellow survivor with words of pride, condemnation. You don't have to be a celebrity to be on a platform. Your platform can start right where you are. So, let's take our weapon and change the world for what is right and just (be angry at what was done us and show love to those who wronged us). I say that because they didn't know who they were abusing, and they are probably tormented now. At the same token, if a crime was committed, we should receive justice. And the way to your justice & freedom starts with your voice. 

The reason why your voice is a powerful weapon is because you are a voice for the voiceless.

Blessings

The Mayne Man