Between the blogpost that was released Friday (Part 14:Distorted View of God) and a conversation that I had with some men as we’re reading Dr. Tony Evans’ Kingdom Man yesterday, I’ve been thinking about this issue intensely.
Yes, I’m fully aware of the stereotype of that once you run across a bad man, everyone else is bad as well. In other words, one bad apple spoils the whole batch. Now, is that true or is that false? You have your thoughts on the answer. I’ll answer it and say it’s false. Just because you got one bad apple, doesn’t mean you have to throw the remaining apples out.
As I stated in my blogpost from Friday, my heart goes out to you if you went through life without a father (especially if you’re a woman), but now for this blogpost, I want to extend it by saying that if you ran across a bad man in your life (I don’t care if the man was a biological father, stepfather, adopted father, uncle, grandfather, teacher, coach, or pastor) or if you happened to be in an environment where your father was missing, absent, emotionally unavailable, abusive/controlling or just a tyrant, my heart goes out to you and this blogpost is dedicated to you.
Even though earlier, I was talking about apples, the same principle holds true as it relates to God. Even as a man, I can testify to this (where I placed my view of God as to my relation to my parents). How many of you have (or are currently) seen God based on your current relationship to your parents (or lack of relationship with your father/male figure)? If I could see through your mind and heart, it’s not a pretty picture, I know. You may be crying as you’re reading this, and I say let the tears flow. I can imagine that you’ve been holding the tears for so long, and are feeling like no one cares about the internal pain you’re going through. If no other human being cares, know that I do.
You can be made whole from Bad Men, and you don’t have to live in bondage because of what someone did to you, or didn’t give you the nurturing that you deserved in childhood. Men, let me say something to you: if you didn’t grow up with a father (or had to endure a man based on what I talked about above), you don’t have to live in bondage to where you are abusive to others. You can be made whole too.
To all reading this, please separate God from how a human being treated you. Don’t think that you deserved the pain you’ve endured. You can let it go. I heard Real Talk Kim say this (still on the topic of Bad Men): because you were ill treated and not protected, you are now protecting people that didn’t even protect you. I see men doing this more than women, but it can happen on both sides.
How many of you are willing to go to the mirror and make this declaration? I am not my past, I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am not what my parents said that I was (especially if it was negative), I am not the abuse, I am not what a bad man said and did to me. God loves me despite what that bad man did to me. I no longer live my life in anger and shame! I declare that I’m healed from the pain that the bad man did to me (if you have to cry after saying it), do it! I’m free from what religious people say to me, because what’s important to me is what you, God, say who I am. And I accept what and who You say I am. I no longer have to prove to others of my identity, because You God have given me my identity! Thank You Jesus! I surrender all the myths, and false truths that I had of You. You are not like man, and I surrender every feeling that I feel that is keeping me in a cycle of hurt! No bad man has that much power over me to where I am stuck in this situation in my life. I forgive me, and I ask that You forgive me. Amen!
You can be made whole from the bad men in your life! Do you believe it? If yes, walk in it (by faith, if you have to).
The Mayne Man