Friday, October 31, 2014

BBB (Broken, Beaten & Battered) - a poem

Today, this was dropped on my spirit. I've been in Psalms for almost 2 weeks and I call this my Psalm to God. Although this has been my life these past 2 weeks, it also sums up my life. I ask that you rejoice with me as to the goodness of God and how God has kept me. He has given me beauty for ashes and He can give you that also. 

BBB (Broken, Beaten & Battered)
Written 10/31/14 10:42am

I come to the Father broken, beaten & battered. He wants all of my pain. 
I lay this broken body down as if it were dead, so it's Jesus I gain.

Loved ones have abandoned me, but You Lord have loved me still. I surrender my life to you in all areas, and I now surrender to Your will.

I spent so many years living for me, and it has brought me nothing but sorrow. So I seek You and Your righteousness and will strive not to worry about tomorrow.

So many are living for self striving for attention, turn our hearts back to You. We will keep hurting each other if we keep doing what we do.

This 28 years of abstinence is not for me, but for Your glory. Some will mock as this testimony, but You have given me this story.

The good that I do for others is nothing but a filthy rag in your eyes. So why should I boast in them, Your dying for me is where my faith lies.

If I have to live this life alone, broken, beaten & battered; I count it all joy though my life feels like glass that's shattered.

All the pieces on the floor as no one cares to clean me up. But You are the only one to pick me up and overfill my cup.

I have loved and lost, and I have hurt those I care about. I pray they forgive me and I thank You Lord for not judging me and taking me out.

If you were brave enough to read this, come to Jesus this minute, this hour. He wants your broken, beaten & battered heart & spirit, so He can make your life beautiful as a flower.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

How Husbands Can Help Their Wives Heal

If you are a woman who's suffered any type of abuse, I dedicate this post to you. If you are a man who either has suffered abuse, or are married to a woman who has suffered abuse, I dedicate this post to you.

Over the past six years of speaking to people of all ages about child sexual abuse and suicide, I have met many people who have touched my life with their stories. Yesterday, the title for this blog was dropped in my spirit. And so many nuggets came with it. So let's partake of what was shown to me.

In a relationship (or even in a friendship), some women will not share things that have happened in their past upfront. Ladies, I will say that's OK. The one thing you don't want to do is to trigger something from your past if you're not ready to confront it. Men, when relating to a woman, we must respect their decision. We must never provoke them to go to a place where they will be fearful for their lives. So, what can men do? Pray for her, intercede for her, stand in the gap for her. Wash her with the Word in loving matter. When she's ready, just listen to her heart - that speaks volumes to her. Don't speak unless she wants your thought. And when you share your thought, never attack her. 

Men, if you're married to a woman and she has mood swings at odd times due to her past, she might run you off; blame you for things you do or you didn't do (or nit-pick things you say or do). In some cases, she might run you into the arms of another woman. Men, in reference to that last sentence, don't go off into the arms of another woman. Do you have to take her abuse? Yes and no. You married her for better or worse. When she is not in her moods, let her know how you feel (never attack her or talk down to her when you do). 

Now. If you're like me, you want to try to fix everything people are going through. The truth is, we men can't. Yes, it's our nature to do that, but when a woman is on the path to healing, there are some things she will have to face with just God and her alone.

Men, please hear me when I say this: if you don't nurture your wife when she's trying to heal from her past, know that she's vulnerable. If you're not careful, she could end up in the arms of another man (single or married).

There might be some single men reading this and asking this question: What can single men do? Easy advice: Be so focused on God and just stand in the gap as a brother in Christ. 

Men, I encourage you to stay committed to the woman God chose for you (and cover her in prayer). No matter what she does, what she's going through or what she's been through, she's under attack by the devil. She needs you in all areas. Remember there's power in two. A three-fold cord can't be broken (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). 


The Mayne Man

Who's Crying For The Little Girl? (#stopchildabuse)

Last Thursday, that question was dropped in my spirit. When it did, my heart dropped. I couldn't help but think about all of the girls who are abused by family members, the judicial system, law enforcement, the entertainment industry, etc. I need to declare that this post is a trigger warning, so read with caution. 

Christine Caine stated that the average age of a trafficking victim is 12 years old. 1-2% of victims are ever rescued. She defines human trafficking as this: Human trafficking is the illegal trade of human beings, mainly for the purposes of forced labor and sex trafficking. As the world's fastest growing criminal industry, it affects every nation across the globe. Every 30 seconds, someone becomes a victim of modern-day slavery.

There are more slaves in the world today than at any other point in human history, with an estimated 27 million in bondage across the globe. Men, women, and children are being exploited for manual and sexual labor against their will.

Not only is this shocking, it sends a chill down my back. 

In recent interviews with men who purchased a woman or child for sex in prostitution, Benjamin Nolot, of the The Exodus Cry Movement, found there wasn’t one who didn’t have a history of viewing pornography.

In a study that compared men who buy sex with who don’t buy sex researchers found that sex buyers viewed and imitated pornography more often than the non-sex buyers.
Eighty percent of prostitution survivors at the WHISPER Oral History Project reported that their customers showed them pornography to illustrate the kinds of sexual activities in which they wanted to engage. Fifty-two percent of the women stated that pornography played a significant role in teaching them what was expected of them as prostitutes.

I know this is heavy, but I ask that you near with me if you can. We have the power to change the world and rescue these girls. 

Malika Saada Saar, the executive director of Rights4Girls, a U.S. based human rights organization for young women and girls, has this to say. 

On the 150th anniversary of when President Lincoln issued the preliminary Emancipation Proclamation, which set the date for the freedom of more than 3 million enslaved Americans, President Obama called for the end of modern day slavery. The president’s historical speech delivered at the Clinton Global Initiative, called for major policy changes, at home and abroad, to combat the enslavement of millions of women, men and children.

Many of the slaves today are girls. Born in America. Hidden in plain view.

They are the lost girls, standing around bus stops, hanging out by runaway youth shelters, or advertised online. At the Motel 8 or the Marriott, at McDonalds or the clubs.

According to the FBI, there are currently an estimated 293,000 American children at risk of being exploited and trafficked for sex. Forty percent of all human trafficking cases opened for investigation between January 2008 and June 2010 were for the sexual trafficking of a child. And while the term trafficking may conjure images of desperate illegal immigrants being forced into prostitution by human smugglers, 83 percent of victims in confirmed sex trafficking cases in this country were American citizens.

The majority of these children being sold for sex are girls between the ages of 12 and 14. They are girls abducted or lured by traffickers and then routinely raped, beaten into submission, and sometimes even branded. When the girls try to run away, their traffickers torture and or gang rape them.

They are girls like Jackie who ran away from an abusive home at 13 only to be found alone and hungry by a trafficker who promised to love her like a father/boyfriend/Prince Charming. He sold her to at least six different men every night. When she begged him for food or rest, he beat her.

Young girls like Jackie are the new commodities that traffickers and gangs are selling. In many respects, the girl trade has replaced the drug trade. Drug routes have been repurposed to sell girls, along I-95, and up and down the I-5 corridor. The emergence of the Internet also allows the sale of a girl to be executed with ease, discretion, and convenience for the buyer. And unlike selling a drug, the girl is “reusable.”

The ugly truth is that it is less risky and more profitable to sell a girl than crack cocaine or meth. The U.S. government spends 300 times more money each year to fight drug trafficking than it does to fight human trafficking. And the criminal penalties for drug trafficking are generally greater than the ones usually levied against those who traffic in girls. Traffickers, and especially the politely termed “Johns,” are rarely arrested and prosecuted. Which explains the growing demand for vey young girls— at the click of a mouse, a “John” can purchase a girl online on legitimate websites like, with minimal fear of punishment.

Many of these girls who are bought and sold for sex come out of a broken foster care system. “Of the trafficking victims in Alameda County, California, 55 percent were from foster youth group homes. In New York, 85 percent of trafficking victims had prior child welfare involvement. And in Florida, the head of the state’s trafficking task force estimates that 70 percent of victims are foster youth.

Unfortunately, most child welfare systems have failed to properly identify and assist trafficked and exploited children. The protections, services, and protocols established for abused and neglected children within the child welfare system are rarely extended to trafficked girls. Instead, the girls are relegated to the juvenile justice system, criminalized for being raped and trafficked. This must be the only time in which it is the abused child is the one who is incarcerated for the abuse perpetrated against her.

But that’s the problem—these girls are not considered victims. So while in the United States, we have the very same child sex slave markets as in Cambodia, the Philippines, and India, the girls from here, the girls from Southeast DC or South Central LA, are seen as the “ho,” the bad girl, the teen hooker.

Can I ask what's up with that? Why are we neglecting children? Why are the systems set in place supposing to protect children neglecting them before our very eyes?

Now, I can't do a blogpost without addressing the faith community. Many people pray and fast for our breakthrough, and that's fine. When I read Isaiah 58:6, it talks about fasting for the oppressed and that they be set free from the chains that's binding them (yes, that's my paraphrase - smile). I pose a few questions: do we care about the souls that are hurting? In the judicial system, does a jury verdict matter when a judge will overturn it allowing criminals to walk free?

I want to close this with a call to action. Yes, we need to cry for the little girl (and all children who suffer abuse), but action is needed. 
Christine Caine said this: Human trafficking fuels the growth of organized crime, undermining health, safety, security, and the basic needs of humanity. It is the fastest growing crime in the world.
She has an organization called A21. It's a non-profit organization and A21 believes that together, we can end human trafficking. 

I encourage you to get involved by checking out her site!

I believe every child who has been abused will relate to this poem (this is from my novel Deaf, Dumb, Blind & Stupid):

Who Will Cry?
Who will cry for the little child that lives inside Of Me?
Who will cry for the little child dying to be set free?
Who will cry for the little child wounded continuously?
I will cry for the little child, For that little child is Me!


The Mayne Man

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

The Crab Mentality & How It Hurts Us

was sitting on the plane a few weeks ago and was wondering why we don't support each other. Other groups support each other, but in most cases, we don't. Notice I said "most cases." I asked a few friends (all of them are fellow authors) to help me understand why we don't support each other. They either gave me some reasons with explanations or they answered some questions that were going through my mind. 

I'll start with the questions first, which one fellow author answered with no shame. :)

Questions: Do you suppose that most people of our race don't want to support our vision/dream for the following reasons:
1. They fear that we will surpass their socio-economic status?
Yes, I definitely think this is true. Some people will support you until they feel like you are surpassing them. And this is especially true of self-published authors. Some of the readers/friends who supported me in the beginning, can't be found now because they think I'm outdoing them.
2. It's easier to support someone famous vs. someone local (or grew up with during childhood)
Yes because I had some friends who didn't buy my books until I made it into the bookstores. And then I had some who didn't support me until I made the Amazon bestseller's list. So if you're my friend, why did you wait to support me? You're only supporting me now because you think I'm a local celebrity because I've been in the newspaper a few times. 
3. If they support, they want something in return (or just want us to give, but will support someone 10x wealthier than them & not even thinking of them).
Yes, I always have people coming to me saying, "You're an entrepreneur, I have this great business idea to share with you." And I tell them that I already have more business than I can handle and I'm not looking for any new ventures. And these are usually people who haven't supported me but want to use me. And when people come to me saying, "Let me take you to lunch, I want to pick your brain." I usually pass because what they want is free information for a $5 meal. No thank you.

And one more thing, our people want me to publish them for free but they will pay AuthorHouse (or another vanity publisher) thousands of dollars to get published. But then they want to blast me for charging a thousand. Or they come to me after they have paid thousands to them and want me to make corrections for free...

If that isn't a crab mentality, I don't know what is. 

Another fellow author had this to say (and she also gave a great observation of how we should support each other): My thoughts are that the reasons you stated contribute to the crab mentality. In addition, many suffer from jealousy, envy, hatred and wanting to be like someone else or having what someone else has, and this is why they can't offer real support. I think people like this have internal issues that must be seriously dealt with. Most of the time, these people won't show this kind of attitude right away. But, it will certainly appear because they are poor at hiding it. Also, keep in mind that when people are miserable, they want others to be miserable too. They will often play the victim role to keep the attention on themselves so that others are distracted from supporting your vision or dreams. The crab mentality rears its ugly head in every situation when it comes to our race. We are so used to asking for a "hook up" and freebies from black owned businesses while we spend all of our money on Tommy Hilfiger, Polo and Coach... making them rich. But, really, some just don't want to see you doing better than them and that is sooooo sad. I think of Oprah and her best friend, Gayle.

The final fellow author chimed in and said this: People don't support because they don't believe in you. In other words: people often don't believe in you because of their own personal prejudices or views of themselves.

I would like to thank the three fellow authors who shared their thoughts on a topic that needs to be addressed. In lieu of what was stated above, our mentality has to change. We can no longer blame others for our own plight.

The Mayne Man