If you are a woman who's suffered any type of abuse, I dedicate this post to you. If you are a man who either has suffered abuse, or are married to a woman who has suffered abuse, I dedicate this post to you.
Over the past six years of speaking to people of all ages about child sexual abuse and suicide, I have met many people who have touched my life with their stories. Yesterday, the title for this blog was dropped in my spirit. And so many nuggets came with it. So let's partake of what was shown to me.
In a relationship (or even in a friendship), some women will not share things that have happened in their past upfront. Ladies, I will say that's OK. The one thing you don't want to do is to trigger something from your past if you're not ready to confront it. Men, when relating to a woman, we must respect their decision. We must never provoke them to go to a place where they will be fearful for their lives. So, what can men do? Pray for her, intercede for her, stand in the gap for her. Wash her with the Word in loving matter. When she's ready, just listen to her heart - that speaks volumes to her. Don't speak unless she wants your thought. And when you share your thought, never attack her.
Men, if you're married to a woman and she has mood swings at odd times due to her past, she might run you off; blame you for things you do or you didn't do (or nit-pick things you say or do). In some cases, she might run you into the arms of another woman. Men, in reference to that last sentence, don't go off into the arms of another woman. Do you have to take her abuse? Yes and no. You married her for better or worse. When she is not in her moods, let her know how you feel (never attack her or talk down to her when you do).
Now. If you're like me, you want to try to fix everything people are going through. The truth is, we men can't. Yes, it's our nature to do that, but when a woman is on the path to healing, there are some things she will have to face with just God and her alone.
Men, please hear me when I say this: if you don't nurture your wife when she's trying to heal from her past, know that she's vulnerable. If you're not careful, she could end up in the arms of another man (single or married).
There might be some single men reading this and asking this question: What can single men do? Easy advice: Be so focused on God and just stand in the gap as a brother in Christ.
Men, I encourage you to stay committed to the woman God chose for you (and cover her in prayer). No matter what she does, what she's going through or what she's been through, she's under attack by the devil. She needs you in all areas. Remember there's power in two. A three-fold cord can't be broken (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).
The Mayne Man