Now, why did I bring that up? Many of us have been wounded in some shape or fashion. The pain of abandonment, rejection, bullying, neglect, rape, sexual abuse, child abuse, domestic abuse, infidelity, and many other things that I didn't mention will cause a wound and create an offense. You will probably have scars (and yes, I have scars). Let me stay on track. You see, wounds have to have the right conditions to heal.
Can I just be real for a minute? If wounds don't have the right conditions, you will more and likely set yourself up for a life of bitterness, and agonizing pain because of the wound/offense. And if the wound doesn't heal, it will create some type of collateral damage to your physical, mental, spiritual and emotional health (where it hurts you and others around you). Acting like the wound isn't there via denial will leave a greater scar than you imagined. In some cultures, the concept of "we don't talk about these things," especially when the wound is hinged on what I mentioned in the above paragraph, will scar you internally and the minute someone does or says something that triggers the horrific experience you suffered, get prepared for an explosion. I am a living witness to that!
How many of you have looked at your scar that hasn't healed and then start to feel the anger and pain of the person that either triggered it by something they said and did or the actual person that caused the scar? How many of you have said, "I'm all good," as it relates to your wound, but you know that you are a ticking time bomb when you experience a trigger? Some of us can put on a good facade to the world (and probably to God too), but are so broken and scarred to the point we hate ourselves and the world.
You know you are not healed when you are constantly mulling over either what you did wrong or what others did to you. And for many sexual abuse survivors, the person who wronged them might have passed away, but still mulling over it. Even worse, wishing something destructive would happen to them.
So, what are the right conditions to healing the wounds (and getting to he path of wholeness)?
1. Like I had to with my stitches, keep them in my knee for 10 days. That's symbolic to not rushing the healing process (but at the same time, not denying that you need the healing process).
2. Continuing from #1, part of the healing process will probably require professional help (especially if it's a pain I mentioned earlier in this post), but most importantly God. A lot of people tend to overlook this step, and this is no different than having a cast on. You know that you need to wear it for 8 weeks, but your pride is saying, "I don't want to wear it, I'm cutting it off after one week!"
Healing is no different than medicine. How many of you remember Bactine? I don't know about you, but when I sprayed it on me, that stung. But they say it's to kill the germs so it can heal. That's what real healing can be like, and because of it, some don't even bother.
I pray this has touched you and pushing you further along in your healing process on the path to wholeness (as I am also on this journey as well).
The Mayne Man