Monday, March 28, 2011

Basketball Wives Lack Husbands & Virtue

Sometimes I catch this show when I'm working out at the gym. When I first saw it, I was appalled to see the women act the way they do. Just the other day, I said they should change the title to "Basketball Gold Diggers."

I'd like to thank my sister & fellow author Tracy L. Darity for allowing me to post this on my blog. If you're interested in checking out her books, her information is at the bottom of this post. Note that I agree with Tracy, they do lack husbands & virtue. If I could, I'd rename the title of this blog to Basketball Gold Diggers Lack Husbands & Virtue.

In Proverbs 31: 10 -31 the perfect wife is defined as a virtuous woman with characteristics that are wholesome and pure.  We are also told that when a man finds a wife he has found a great thing...well I guess the cast of VH1's Basketball Wives aren't familiar with these popular passages.

  10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. 11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

It’s been a week since part two of the reality show Basketball Wives reunion aired, and I am still reeling after that profanity laced sparring match between Royce Reed—former Heat/Magic dancer, ex-girlfriend and baby mama of Magic Center, Dwight Howard (did I just write baby mama…;); and Evelyn Lazado, the ex-fiancee of former NBA Forward, Antoine Walker, and current fiancee of NFL Wide Receiver, Chad (Johnson) Ochocinco. This season’s reunion was hosted by former NBA star, John Salley, who actually out-instigated Bravo’s notorious Andy Cohen. But I had to give him kudos when he called the women out, stating, “You keep saying you’re grown (expletive) women, although you’re acting like teenagers.” Hhmmm, they say children live what they learn.

The remaining cast of Basketball Wives, which also include show creator, Shaunie O’Neal the ex-wife of Center Shaquille O’Neal, and a few other ex this, and ex that…Ahhh, there seems to be a recurring theme here, nobody is actually a wife. Well one is, Jennifer Williams, soon-to-be ex-wife of former player Eric Williams; but she would rather divorce her husband than actually put in the work to see if her marriage is salvageable. So I began to wonder, if these women are so fabulous, and desirable, and the cream of the crop, as they seem to think they are, then why oh why didn’t they make it down the aisle, and if they did made it, why haven’t their marriages lasted? Furthermore, why are they on this reality show making complete fools of themselves showing how uncouth and undignified they really are? Being more obsessed with designer names than the names they are being called. I guess comedian, J. Anthony Brown was right, “For every beautiful woman there is a man somewhere who is sick and tired of her mess.”

15 She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family 23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. 25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. 26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

During season 2, we saw Lazado meet Chad Ochocinco, via Twitter; receive some flowers and a pair of boots, and then jet off to Cincinnati and happily give-up the punanny, without him even having to work for it. Now I know some people will say, yeah but now she’s rocking a huge diamond, reported to be between 7 and 10 carats. Well for the money he makes, why not. Will a wedding actually take place, who knows? I guess it would be fair to say after all the “f” bombs she dropped while professing her love of “f”ing, all the while defending her short-lived affair with the then husband of cast-mate Tami Roman; if Chad still finds her desirable, then they obviously deserve each other. My main concern; however, is exactly what are our young girls learning by watching this type of behavior. Lazado herself has a teenage daughter entering college. What must she think of her mother? Excuse me while I have another “Hhmmm moment.” Jennifer’s expressions were priceless as Evelyn replayed her weekend with Chad. I wonder if at any time, then or since, has Jennifer asked herself why she’s running behind Evelyn in Miami, when she should leave this show and these women behind, to give her marriage a real try. Now that’s what’s up!

28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”

Shaunie O’Neal may believe that she hit the goldmine with this reality show but I have to wonder if she truly understands the harm she is doing. This season we saw a couple of real wives chime-in, but their appearances seemed awkward and misplaced, which is a sad commentary because if the show were about their lives no one would watch. Now the word on the street is that, as Shaunie O’Neal looks for new cast members to bring the drama, the men are taking a stand and forbidding their girlfriends, fiancee's, and wives to be apart of the show. I say, “Good for them!” because a real man understands that his woman is a reflection of him; just ask President Barack Obama.

In the end, the reality of this calamitous situation is; in order to remove these negative stereotypes from television, we must stop being an audience for their buffoonery. It is easy to say that these shows are for entertainment purposes, but the truth is, with the success of this show and others like it, these women really are setting the standard for womanhood, and virtue is becoming a thing of the past.

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. 31 Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Much Love,


Tracy L. Darity is the author of He Loves Me He Loves Me Not! and Love...Like Snow in Florida on a Hot Summer Day, available in print and Kindle formats. For more information, visit