This was a blogpost I wanted to do 2 years ago, and I'm finally getting to do this. I have met a lot of people in my life that come from different walks. One thing I find interesting to me is when people tell me that they have been hurt by the church. I don't argue with people who have, but I listen. Why do I listen? Because the church is to be a place where people are to get help, not a place where a wound never heals and it becomes a permanent scar.
There are many people who have been hurt by the church, and as a result, they say they believe (and will display holiness), but they don't want to be preached at (cause in their minds, they are independent and they have my own identity) and still love God. I find that people with this mentality have been hurt horrifically (whether it be sexual abuse, domestic abuse, or emotional abuse), they say they are perfectly find yet they don't want to be helped. The end result ends up being "hurt people hurt people."
When you're hurt, you'll easily will take offense (or become very defensive) when someone is trying to help you. People who really have the spirit of God are not trying to criticize these hurt people or preach at them, but actually speaking in a spirit of love.
As I think about what I just typed, most people who are hurt by the church, have placed their faith in their church leader, church building, or church denomination over the Bible. Anybody who does that will more & likely be hurt and wounded.
I asked my Sister Adrienna Turner for her thoughts on this topic, and she made me think about a few other things why people can be wounded by the church. This is not a full-list, but I know people who have been hurt can identify with some things I'm about to mention:
1. You are tired churches asking for money to upgrade their podiums, auditoriums, or buildings when we need to be building up the body (people) inside of the church and going out on the byways.
2. Church cliques creep up and you're cared for cause you're not in their clique.
3. About every month, two months or semi-annual, there's a sermon that's to make you feel guilty and state that the church needs your money.
4. Constant talks about upgrading the youth center, their buildings, etc.
5. If you're pregnant and single, hell and damnation is preached over you.
6. You are judged for your wrong and the leader gets a slap on the wrist.
I know many of you have more to add to the list, but let me say this: churches may fail, but the Bible never fails. Compare whatever church you attend to what the Bible says the church is to be. Yes, there will be some leaders and some people in the congregation perpetrating to be part of the flock. If your needs are not met in the church, talk to God. He will listen because He cares (considering He made you). I ask that you don't repel everybody because of one person's stupidity! Some of the people you are shewing away could be angels, but because you're wounded (or you are doing a good job faking that you're healed knowing you're still wounded), you will miss small blessings.
The Mayne Man