Sexual Predators Show More Love Than Family & Friends

I think about all of the teens I've talked with who suffered sexual abuse and adult survivors of sexual abuse (of which I am), and I find a common trend. Family & friends side with the sexual predator (even if it's in the family) and tell their abused child to get over it, how dare you lie about the family (or put our business in the street), or they're punished more than their sexual predator. If we proclaim that we "love" everybody, then show some love to an abused child instead of ridiculing a child.

What you're about to read below comes from a page that I like on Facebook. And this confirms what I typed above and the need for the community to wake up (or don't be surprised if it happens to one of your children and then you cry foul)!

There are things that predators sometimes offer children that well-meaning adults don’t. Predators often listen to children to make them feel valued. Predators compliment children to make them feel special. Predators tell children that they love them to make them feel adored. Predators give children favors to make them feel important. Predators give children responsibilities that make them feel competent. Too often these things are absent in the life of children, and the absence of these things is what opened the door to many of our victimizations. Predators are evil people that are given opportunities by well-meaning people. Wake up, humanity.

How Do I Heal From Child Sexual Abuse?

From time to time, I will be posting on Child Sexual Abuse & some statistics about this type of abuse. As a survivor, this is very important to me (my novel Deaf, Dumb, Blind & Stupid confirms its importance).

This is a post from the Talking Trees: Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse page (on Facebook). Check that page out.

How do I heal? If you have asked the question, then you are already healing. So from here on out the transformative question is “where am I in the healing process?” Depending on where you are in the process, you may need a lot of information, or support, or direction. Early in the healing process, you need information. If you were diagnosed with an illness, even if it is just high blood pressure, you would need information so that you could develop a lifestyle that protects you from further risks and complications. Well, there is a lot of information about being a survivor of child sexual abuse that can be really helpful too. For example, did you know that there are over 50 million survivors in America? Did you know that the average survivor has had 3 violators by the age of 18? Did you know that over 50% of survivors never tell a soul? Did you know that most of us live functional lives while we suffer in silence? Did you know that we survive on resilience, the strength of the heart, the will of the universe and the determination of the spirit, and support from one another? We also survive on knowledge. Knowledge is power.

The Attack On Women

Now I’m not sure how people are going to react to this particular post, but as I hear about what’s on TV today, I can truly say there’s an attack on women. But I’d like to take it from this point: there has been an attack on women since the times of Adam & Eve and yes, the devil will be the focal point (now I’m not glorifying him, just making that clear) and why he is so mad at women (he’s mad at men too, but I believe not to the extent of him being mad at women).

When the devil used the serpent to talk to Eve, she ate and gave to Adam. Let me move to the place where God was questioning Adam & Eve. Eve stated that the serpent made me eat. The immediate judgment that came from God was on the serpent.

As I’m reading Matthew Henry’s commentary on Genesis 3, he said this and I think this is very important (here's the first excerpt): God immediately proceeds to pass sentence; and, in these verses, he begins (where the sin began) with the serpent. God did not examine the serpent, nor ask him what he had done nor why he did it; but immediately sentenced him, 1. Because he was already convicted of rebellion against God, and his malice and wickedness were notorious, not found by secret search, but openly avowed and declared as Sodom’s. 2. Because he was to be for ever excluded from all hope of pardon; and why should any thing be said to convince and humble him who was to find no place for repentance? His wound was not searched, because it was not to be cured.

Dropping down (for this is a lengthy commentary, but I want to focus on the part where God said that he will put enmity between the devil and the woman). Excerpt #2:

He is to be for ever looked upon as a venomous noxious creature, and a proper object of hatred and detestation: I will put enmity between thee and the woman. The inferior creatures being made for man, it was a curse upon any of them to be turned against man and man against them; and this is part of the serpent’s curse. The serpent is hurtful to man, and often bruises his heel, because it can reach no higher; nay, notice is taken of his biting the horses’ heels, ch. 49:17 . But man is victorious over the serpent, and bruises his head, that is, gives him a mortal wound, aiming to destroy the whole generation of vipers. It is the effect of this curse upon the serpent that, though that creature is subtle and very dangerous, yet it prevails not (as it would if God gave it commission) to the destruction of mankind.

Excerpt #3:

Here are three things concerning Christ:—(1.) His incarnation, that he should be the seed of the woman, the seed of that woman; therefore his genealogy (Lu. 3, ) goes so high as to show him to be the son of Adam, but God does the woman the honour to call him rather her seed, because she it was whom the devil had beguiled, and on whom Adam had laid the blame; herein God magnifies his grace, in that, though the woman was first in the transgression, yet she shall be saved by child-bearing (as some read it), that is, by the promised seed who shall descend from her, 1 Tim. 2:15 . He was likewise to be the seed of a woman only, of a virgin, that he might not be tainted with the corruption of our nature; he was sent forth, made of a woman (Gal. 4:4 ), that this promise might be fulfilled. It is a great encouragement to sinners that their Saviour is the seed of the woman, bone of our bone, Heb. 2:11, Heb. 2:14 . Man is therefore sinful and unclean, because he is born of a woman (Job. 25:4 ), and therefore his days are full of trouble, Job. 14:1 . But the seed of the woman was made sin and a curse for us, so saving us from both. (2.) His sufferings and death, pointed at in Satan’s bruising his heel, that is, his human nature. Satan tempted Christ in the wilderness, to draw him into sin; and some think it was Satan that terrified Christ in his agony, to drive him to despair. It was the devil that put it into the heart of Judas to betray Christ, of Peter to deny him, of the chief priests to prosecute him, of the false witnesses to accuse him, and of Pilate to condemn him, aiming in all this, by destroying the Saviour, to ruin the salvation; but, on the contrary, it was by death that Christ destroyed him that had the power of death, Heb. 2:14 . Christ’s heel was bruised when his feet were pierced and nailed to the cross, and Christ’s sufferings are continued in the sufferings of the saints for his name. The devil tempts them, casts them into prison, persecutes and slays them, and so bruises the heel of Christ, who is afflicted in their afflictions. But, while the heel is bruised on earth, it is well that the head is safe in heaven. (3.) His victory over Satan thereby. Satan had now trampled upon the woman, and insulted over her; but the seed of the woman should be raised up in the fulness of time to avenge her quarrel, and to trample upon him, to spoil him, to lead him captive, and to triumph over him, Col. 2:15 . He shall bruise his head, that is, he shall destroy all his politics and all his powers, and give a total overthrow to his kingdom and interest. Christ baffled Satan’s temptations, rescued souls out of his hands, cast him out of the bodies of people, dispossessed the strong man armed, and divided his spoil: by his death, he gave a fatal and incurable blow to the devil’s kingdom, a wound to the head of this beast, that can never be healed. As his gospel gets ground, Satan falls (Lu. 10:18 ) and is bound, Rev. 20:2 . By his grace, he treads Satan under his people’s feet (Rom. 16:20 ) and will shortly cast him into the lake of fire, Rev. 20:10 . And the devil’s perpetual overthrow will be the complete and everlasting joy and glory of the chosen remnant.

Anyway, back to the lesson, so what is the devil trying to do (to both men and women)? He’s trying to strip everything that God views as holy. As a result of the fall, blood had to be shed. When a man and woman enter to a marriage, a blood covenant is to be formed. Let me stay on this for a second. What’s the devil’s operation? To get blood to be unholy and to throw people outside of the will of God. As Matthew Henry stated earlier, God didn’t question Satan as to why he did what he did to Eve. But praise be to God for the cleansing blood of Christ! So, we as men of God, need to cover our women in prayer, and be able to intercede for our sisters in Christ. Satan’s plan to break down the marriage structure is increasing the more (marriage covenants are important to God). We can’t go on business as usual and calling what’s unholy as being holy.

Single parenthood was never the order of God (and I applaud every single mother out there). Satan is attacking women in this arena by breaking the backs of men to show that men aren’t stronger than women. As a result, they’re left with the burden of caring for the children. But praise be to God for the blood of Jesus.

So what’s the point of this post? Understand that we as humans are under attack by the devil. We need to cover each other in prayer and intercession, understand our roles as men & women and not give further access to the devil in our lives. For we can overcome these attacks if we are one accord.

Blessings:

The Mayne Man

Author Spotlight (Pamala Mintz)

I initially met this author via Facebook before meeting her in person. She appeared to be so genuine on FB, and when I met her at the African American Author Expo (held in Timonium, MD) in August 2013, I found that she's a genuine person, period! With that said, show your love for my sister & fellow author Pamala Mintz.

Pamala Mintz is a single mother of 3 children, Tiara, Brandon, and Joshua. Becoming a teenage mother did not stop Pamala’s aspirations and dreams. She graduated from Coppin State University in 2008 with a Bachelor of Arts in English/Communications and graduated from University of Baltimore with a Master of Science in Health Systems Management in 2013. She will be furthering her education by entering the PhD program in Health Care Administration at Walden University in 2014. Tenacity, hard work and determination have been the driving forces that keep Pamala striving towards greater goals.

Pamala, presently, serves under the leadership of Dr. Todd Hall. It is through his prophetic mantle that she has tapped into who she truly is and the prophetic mantle that she always denied. It is through his teachings that she has gained the confidence to speak. Foundationally, Pamala was raised in the Baptist faith at Community Baptist Church of Cherry Hill under the late Rev. Calvin Thomas. As an adult, Pamala joined First Apostolic Faith Church serving under the leadership of Apostle Franklin Cornelius Showell.

Pamala has authored and published two books entitled Saved, Single Sister: Real Talk, the series with four more books yet to be released. In August, another dream took form as she began co-hosting a radio show entitled “A Different Identity” which airs Monday nights from 8pm-9pm on WXRP radio, an award winning talk radio station based in Atlanta, Georgia. This lady does not allow grass to grow under her feet too long. In the fall of 2013, she will begin production on the stage play/musical, “Saved, Single Sister: Real Talk”.

How We Christians Abuse Each Other

If you were to look at Christians today (to include those who say they are), we are losing all form of ethics and taking it to the point where we are abusing each other and adding Christian lingoes to abuse each other (really just leeching off each other for selfish purposes). It needs to stop and we need to grow up & mature.

So, how do we Christians abuse each other? Let me give you a great example.

Someone comes to me (and they say they are a man/woman of God) and say "can I borrow," or "can you do this for me cause I want to do something for someone." And they give you a 20 minute sermon before or after they ask if they can get some money from you.

Another area how we can abuse each other is taking advantage of a fellow brother's generosity or fellow sister's generosity (and again, adding Christian lingo such as "and may The Lord bless you."). 

When it's all said and done, they'll turn around, smile at you cause they know they just got over on you (even with the Christian colloquialisms). Yes, it can be frustrating, but know that The Lord will take care of you (so you can kind of dismiss when man says "may The Lord bless you."). Now it's not a problem to give out of your heart as He leads, but there should be a flag when people coerce you with the mindset of getting over on you (cutting corners).

We as the body of Christ need to stop abusing each other out of greed, cutting corners or just cause we don't to sit down & count the cost (and plan)!

This Word "Betrayal"

About 30 minutes ago, this word bothered me (though it shouldn't) to the point where I literally stopped what I was doing to type this. You see, betrayal is nothing new to God. In fact, many people know about Judas Iscariot betraying Jesus before Jesus was crucified. But I want to talk about the betrayals we face today (and I believe they will increase as the days progress).

We shouldn't be afraid of the word betrayal, but at the same time, we should not be alarmed when we are betrayed. Now we are not to live our lives in fear of being betrayed, but when we are betrayed, turn them over to God and forgive them.

I want to touch on some of the betrayals I see today (and again, I expect them to increase with greater intensity as we continue living day on this earth):

1. This first betrayal bothers my spirit to the core: parents are giving children (12 years and younger) to sexual predators to be molested, robbed of their virginity for money.

2. The second betrayal is the "what's in it for me" betrayal. I will be your friend, sup with you, join your cliques all for my benefit and then drop you when I got what I needed without even pouring into your life. Judas would fit this one with the exception that Jesus chose Judas and not the other way around.

3. The third betrayal is the "fair-weather friend" betrayal. This is where you want to be around people when they have good days and the moment they go through or offend you (whether major but more importantly minor), you turn your back on them, won't even help them at their point of need. This can also be an "I'm better than you" betrayal and this betrayal can actually lead to their spiritual death (and yes, you could have their blood on your hands).

4. The fourth betrayal involves trust. Example: I tell someone what I'm going through, they sit with me and listen; once I get it all out and they get all of my trust, they turn against me and speak ill of me because I'm not perfect like them. Some would get cocky with their attitude and say, "you need to get over it!" 

The last thing I want you to do is play naive in believing that you'll never be betrayed. Offenses come in different shapes & forms, and betrayal is no exception. Just because somebody is your friend doesn't mean they don't have the capability to betray you. Watch therefore, for wolves will perpetrate to be sheep. But sadly, many will pray and trust their flesh and not God thinking so & so won't betray them. But even if it does, God has you and them. Just be watchful is what I'm trying to say with that point. 

I need to say this too: just because someone attends your church or becomes a part of your elite clique due to church association, pastor association, etc. doesn't mean they still won't sell you out. I'll be honest, I'm expecting it to happen more in my life, people who say they believe will turn against me. Yes, it hurts and will hurt, but I will keep pressing on for His high calling. I don't expect everyone who says they are for me to really be for me. We're human, sinful, prideful, and always in need of being forgiven by God and forgiving others. 

This betrayal is getting so bad that if you don't agree with a political leader, a pastor, a music artist, people will betray you over that. If you have character flaws, they will betray you and flaunt their arrogance over you. Sadly, this betrayal is happening more in the spiritual world (in my opinion) than in the secular world and that shouldn't be. Part of the betrayal is due to our selfish agendas and still clinging on to the "what's in it for me" mentality. We have lost the one-sided love that Jesus had and we need to get our hearts back to this kind of love.

Blessings.

The Mayne Man

Author Spotlight (Christin Webb)

I met this author at the BWABC Literacy Festival (held in Memphis, TN) in September 2013. To me she is an angel. Anyway, this week's author spotlight is my sister and fellow author Christin Webb.

After years of earning degrees, building relationships, developing a career, and adjusting to single-motherhood, writer Christin Webb took a leap of faith to begin following her dreams to become Author Christin Webb.

"Outcomes are merely creations of our own decisions" is the motto that Christin lives by and uses as the basis for her first self-published novel, Enough Time and short fiction blog, 'Is It Real?'. It has been Christin's personal experiences and creative visions that bring her writing to life to ignite growth and inspiration in each story. In recent years, Christin has begun a campaign of encouraging people to intentionally follow their passions through her newest blog, Passion Living Out Loud'. Along with writing, Christin enjoys speaking to organizations on topics from self-growth, overcoming abuse and addictions, to becoming an author.

Christin's nonfiction work has been featured on websites such as 'Diva By Design' and 'For Harriet'. In 2010, Christin published the Memphis 2010 Historical Calendar, which featured 365 days of Memphis history. In 2012, Christin established the Webb Publishing Company that assist authors and small business owners with various publishing needs. More recently, Christin has begun screenwriting and producing short films.

Beyond making differences with words, Christin has always found community and leadership very important and finds giving back an easy task. She has acted in several volunteer capacities with organizations such as the National Civil Rights Museum and the United Way. Christin was formerly an Executive Board Member and Secretary of the National Coalition of 100 Black Women, Inc. ~ Memphis, TN. Chapter. 

Christin has a BA in Social Work from the University of Memphis and an MBA from Webster University. Christin works in the utility industry and currently lives in Memphis, TN with her daughter, Jasmine. Christin hopes to continue to use her leadership and creative spirit to make positive differences.