My Healing Journey (Part 1)

If you're reading this blog and are living with Aspergers (Autism) and/or PTSD, I welcome you to my journey of healing. One of the reasons why I love writing is because it's therapy and my desire is to write to right the broken soul (mine and yours). So, I thank you for accompanying me on this journey to healing. Even though we may have Autism and/or PTSD, we can be very thankful that there's a healing for the anxiety as a result of it. Of course, there's a cure for PTSD; however, Autism is a different story. But as I have learned, Autism is actually a gift (I'll share more on that as I share part of my journey with you all). So let's get up close and personal as we heal together (in fact, lift your hands up in victory)!

I heard someone say that the better neurotypicals (non-autistics) understand our journey, the more acceptance and support we will receive from them. Well, when I was diagnosed with it in 2014, very few people were very supportive with me. But I know that for some people, my anxiety disturbs them and I can totally understand (some know that it's due to autism). One of my dearest friends recommended that I looked into a support group, and I did. I'll be honest; anxiety and stability are the two things I struggle with the most. I'm others have told anyone who struggles with anxiety that if they would just learn to relax; the anxiety would go away.  Well, it's not that easy (especially if you have Aspergers/Autism). Over a period of time, the anxiety-filled memories from childhood become locked in our brains, tending to make the anxiety stick with us throughout our lives (I'm a living witness to that). When you think about it, Autism breeds other disorders such as OCD, PTSD, and different forms of anxiety.

If you could watch my life via a movie throughout my school years, you would find an anxious boy. Some would even call it obnoxious due to trying to find my place in this world (as Michael W. Smith would say). Fear was my best friend at home and at school (I didn't experience that much fear during my last three years of high school though). What were my greatest fears? Well at home, it was the belt. This is not an attack on my parents by any means. If I received notes to take home from elementary school that stated that my behavior was terrible or that stated I called out a great deal, I had to fear the belt. There were times I would come home and hide under the bed because I knew that a belt was waiting for me. At school (especially my freshman year in high school), I was bullied because most of the upper classman knew my uncle (and him molesting me), so that made me fresh meat! So, the world was a scary place for me, and as a result, I lived most of my teen years in isolation. Now some would say that I had no reason to be anxious during that time, if only you knew. Now that I'm an adult, I still have to face these fears, just in a different way. One of my first jobs out of college was working as a teller at a bank. I was written up mainly because I didn't gossip with the co-workers. The write-up did indicate that I dressed professionally, I was never rude to my co-workers or to customers and I did my job in excellence. But it was the one negative thing that was harped on. And truthfully, that was my life at home. Never mind the good things I did, it would be the one thing that was harped on. In fact, during my 5th grade year (this was the year of my molestation), my grades were average - wasn't failing in any subject, but my behavior was atrocious. My parents didn't know about the molestation, but they sure harped on my behavior and bypassed my grades. As an adult, I struggle with social situations. One of my dear friends said to me that she could spot me out in a group photo, which is usually buried in the back to myself. And truthfully, that's due to my inner anxiety. Now some would say, just come out my shell. It's easier said than done. But not to worry, I will journal more as I am on the path to healing from the anxiety that Aspergers brings.

Blessings,

The Mayne Man

Gun Control vs. Mental Illness

I'd like to start this with a clip from my novel Deaf, Dumb, Blind & Stupid: There are so many people who are plagued with ADD, ADHD, PTSD, BPD, Bipolar and other mental disorders, and we steadily punish them for their mental differences and chemical imbalances ... Why are we only sympathetic if OUR child has a mental disorder? On the contrary, if you know someone else whose child has a mental disorder, they need a beating ... Somebody needs to hear them, or we as a country will continue to lose God-gifted people to the hands of death. Either abused victims will take their own lives, or they will become sadistic and take somebody else’s life. If we don’t discern their hearts and pray for them, these are the consequences that will be suffered among teenagers and among people who are dying.

Many people talk about gun control being the issue. I believe mental illness is the issue (and we want to do something about it after the fact). It’s time for us to get our heads out of the sand and be proactive in saving people (especially the next generation). Instead of cursing those with mental illness, they deserve love and respect just like we do. I personally believe the media is using “gun control” for political reasons. Seriously, guns don't hate or kill, people do. Gun control won’t solve the problem. Dealing with the root of mental illness (but more importantly sin) is how to deal with hatred! We can talk gun control all over the place, watch there be more homicides. Remember illegal business controls America. Something to think about.

My plea is for the mothers of America to not put a band-aid on this thing called mental illness. Parents look at that as an embarrassment (ruining the image of the mother). How do I know this? I have a mental illness and in therapy. Now, will my illness make me go out and kill someone? No! For some it might. Now when it comes to suicide, the possibility is greater & we struggle with that regularly. I pray that mothers of America stop living in denial when abuse is happening in your home and you actually know it. Back to suicide, when a person has a mental illness (and no one even bothers to look at it), it's no surprise if they become sadistic. Adding insult to injury, when we even think of suicide or actually proceed with it, we're looked at as outcasts.

In the AA community, mental illness is looked at as the “dirty or little black secret.” We can never see the truth if we stay in darkness. Sadly, we put stereotypes on people, every situation must be evaluated. Some would say if blacks murdered, they’re a criminal. If whites murdered, they have a mental illness. That stereotype is totally wrong. Every situation must be evaluated. If I were to murder someone, they wouldn't say I have a mental illness, but use the stigma that "I'm black!" Never mind the fact I have a mental illness. Every part of our bodies get sick, even the mind (I don’t care how holy you think you are, it gets sick like every other part of your body). Yes, we do have battles in the mind, but there’s nothing wrong with seeking help if you have a mental disorder. But for some of us, we’re so holy that we want to preach over their heads talking down to them like they ARE stupid. But if it was your child, you’d want everyone to stop what they were doing and help your child, pray for you and your child. That shows how selfish we are.

There are some who know people with mental illness, and you intentionally make them the poster child and talk down on them like they’re stupid. How dare you?

And there are some who say that the shooter should’ve just shot himself. Here’s my response: We as a country glorify death, provided we don't have to give up our own lives.

If you have a moment, I have a YouTube link on my wall (about abuse/mental illness), check it out.

School Is History

This week's blogpost is written by my sister & fellow author Ellen Thomas. Enjoy!

School Is History

By Ellen Thomas Author Of

THE BIPOLAR EXPRESS: One Christian Woman’s Life Journey In The Company Of A Child With Bipolar Disorder and Asperger’s Syndrome.

            “Time to get up. It’s the first day of school,” says an apprehensive parent of a child with mental disabilities. 

            First thought: “Could this be the year things will be different?”

            A new backpack is filled with bright crayons, a composition book and sharpened pencils. The bed holds a child with an educational history. A past of making embarrassing mistakes that have made it difficult to make or keep friends and mishaps that teachers or administrators remember.

            Fortunately, a battle does not ensue. The child rises and dons the new clothes purchased during the “Back To School” sales. He/She is eager for a fresh start and stands proudly for a “First Day Of School” photograph.

Most likely the excitement will die quickly as bullies sniff out the most vulnerable kid on the playground. Whatever disability the child holds will soon cause frustration and anxiety. Each day the parent’s fear grows and the mornings begin with, “I’ve told you three times to get out of that bed.”

            But there is hope. Our daughter, who struggles with bipolar disorder, Asperger’s Syndrome and attention deficit disorder, began college this year. Her school, her history, was a constant metamorphosis from public school, to home schooling, to tutoring, to private school to virtual school but she preserved and a high school diploma hangs on our wall.

Here are a few things my husband and I learned riding THE BIPOLAR EXPRESS.

·      Dreams Change.  Your child isn’t going to fit a “traditional” model. You may have to try alternative education such as home schooling or virtual school. We used them all – repeatedly. Familiarize yourself with the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973, and Individual Educational Plans (IEPs). These may provide your child with services and accommodations necessary for access to a free appropriate public education.

·      The Future Looks Too Difficult But Don’t Lose The Moments Of Celebration. You may not get to live day-by-day. It might be minute-to-minute but celebrate any small success. Keep your hope alive by not focusing on grades or trends. Focus on your child, he or she is more than their history.

·      Don’t Be Too Hard On Yourself. As a child moves into middle and high school, the journey becomes more difficult. You will be your child’s best advocate. Making sure your child’s education rights are being upheld can be exhausting. It can cause a financial and emotional toll on your mind, body and spirit. Take time to rest, spend time with friends and most importantly, your significant other.

The Greek philosopher, Plato said, “Do not train a child to learn by force or harshness; but direct them to it by what amuses their minds, so that you may be better able to discover with accuracy the peculiar bent of the genius of each.”

Your child is beautifully and wonderfully made. Discover and celebrate their talents, and interests. It’s worth the trip.

Author Spotlight (Ellen Thomas)

Today's spotlight will be on my sister & fellow author Ellen Thomas. I had the privilege of meeting Ellen at the Tallahassee Writer's Association Conference in March 2011. The title of her book sparked my interest (I'll reveal that in a moment).

Ellen Thomas is the author of The BiPolar Express: One Christian Woman's Life Journey In The Company of a Child with Bipolar Disorder & Asperger's Syndrome. She is a world traveler, entrepreneur, public school teacher, guest lecturer & mother of a child with Bipolar Disorder & co-morbid Asperger's Syndrome. So this is no ordinary author we're talking about here. A victim of providence, Ellen received her Bachelor of Science Degree in Special Education, 12 years prior to boarding the Bipolar Express. She has shared 28 years with her best friend & husband Jim. Together, they have raised their children: Tony, Luke & adopted adopted daughter Grace. Grace is the catalyst of this book.