If you’re like me, you may have succumb to the concept of
“punishing yourself” when you intentionally or unintentionally did something
wrong. Or perhaps you may have punished yourself when someone else did some
form of harm to you – and now you’re taking the blame of the hurt upon you. Now
here’s one that bothers me because it happens at times – people will put guilt
trips on you to puff themselves up and then you could fall to the trap of
punishing yourself.
Regardless of how you got to the place where you are
punishing yourself, there are no positives to it. In fact, the greatest danger
to it is death (whether physical, mental or emotional). I would like to use
Judas Iscariot as the best example. He was one of the twelve disciples but as
we draw closer to the last supper before Christ was to be crucified, he decided
to sell Christ out to the chief priests. Let’s go to Matthew 26:14-16.
Then one of the twelve [disciples], who was called Judas
Iscariot, went to the chief priests and said, “What are you willing to give me
if I hand Jesus over to you?” And they weighed out thirty pieces of silver. And
from that moment Judas began looking for an opportune time to betray Jesus.
Judas was intentional in what he was doing. Drop down to
verse 21 (and we will go to verse 25): And
as they were eating, He said, “I assure you and most solemnly say to you that
one of you will betray Me.” Being deeply grieved and extremely distressed, each
one of them began to say to Him, “Surely not I, Lord?” Jesus answered, “He who
has dipped his hand in the bowl with Me [as a pretense of friendship] will
betray Me. The Son of Man is to go [to the cross], just as it is written [in
Scripture] of Him; but woe (judgment is coming) to that man by whom the Son of
Man is betrayed! It would have been good for that man if he had never been
born.” And Judas, the betrayer, said, “Surely it is not I, Rabbi?” Jesus said
to him, “You have said it yourself.”
What I like about this is that Jesus actually called him out
on it.
In verses 47-50, Judas came with a large crowd representing
the chief priests, kissing Jesus in a deliberate act of betrayal. Once that
happened, Jesus was arrested.
Now let’s go to the next chapter and go from verse 3 to 5:
When Judas, His
betrayer, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was gripped with remorse and
returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders, saying,
“I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.” They replied, “What is that to us?
See to that yourself!” And throwing the pieces of silver into the temple
sanctuary, he left; and went away and hanged himself.
Notice that the chief priests didn’t care about the money or
the fact that Judas betrayed Christ. All they cared about was Christ being
crucified. Judas was remorseful knowing that he sinned, but instead of seeking
forgiveness from Christ, he hung himself. Some people would say that he truly
wasn’t remorseful, and that may very well be true. The end result is still the
same, because he didn’t let go of the guilt, he took his own life.
Now what if you are one who had a wrong done to you and
you’re punishing yourself? First of all, don’t blame yourself because you’re
not at fault. I ask that you allow Christ to heal your heart and the pain that
you suffered.
There are so many people who are punishing themselves for
mistakes they made, for the relationships that they got in that they knew they
shouldn’t have (or perhaps they were blindsided after they were in the
relationship), for the abuse they suffered in childhood or the abuse they
endured in a relationship. Of course, this list can go on. However, the tragedy
for many people who are steadily punishing themselves may not be dead
physically, but they may dead internally (i.e., mentally and/or emotionally).
If this is you, know that my heart cries for you.
I’m not going to just tell you to let it go (because it may have
to be in stages), but I ask that you allow Christ to heal you in areas you know
you’re hurt, and even in areas that you don’t know you’re hurting. If you
continue to punish yourself, the enemy will do anything he can to make you stay
in that state of mind so you can die in every area.
I can’t close this blogpost without saying this: if you’re
one who intentionally did something you shouldn’t have done, don’t punish yourself
(and the devil will do anything he can to make you believe that you can’t
recover), just look at 1 John 1:9 (that’s your homework assignment – smile).
Know that we don’t have to punish ourselves and put our
lives in danger. Much love to you all.
Blessings,
The Mayne Man
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