This was a lesson that I did for a singles group on Facebook focused on love & relationships back on April 12th, 2016. The group admins were focusing on the topic “purpose” for the month of April, the title came to me, as I was getting reading for work on The 7th of April. The next day, I started to type the lesson and it just flowed. I will admit that this is lengthy (but I’m going to strive to edit this for the blogpost). I was able to divide this into 20 posts (with some interludes and a bonus that was not expected). I will have you listen to some songs as you’re reading specific posts (you should be able to click the links, but if you can’t, I’ll tell you what the song is so you can YouTube it and be ministered to as you read. And yes, this is still along the lines of healing that I’ve been blogging on since April.
Good morning. It is a privilege and honor to be your guest speaker today. First and foremost, I thank God for this day and this moment and now I have to thank the admins for allowing me to minister to you today. I pray that you will be blessed by what I’m about to talk about today, so before we begin, let’s pray.
Father, in the name of Jesus, I thank You for your many blessings, and we thank You for giving us Your breath of life. We thank You for Your Word, and we ask that You send forth revelation knowledge to bless everyone in this group today. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.
(Post 1 of 20) 8:10am
Today’s topic is called Fighting For Love With Purpose and the foundational scripture is 1 Timothy 6:12. Keep in mind, that even though this is about love, this teaching can actually be applied to any area of your life.
So some of you might be wondering, why is this called Fighting For Love With A Purpose? It’s a great question; so let me give you the answer. When you desire a love that leads to marriage, remember that the devil hates the institution of marriage.
The minute a man of God and a woman of God connect (their gifts complement each other, and they’re each other’s best friend), the devil gets scared. So what the devil’s going to do is send obstacles to challenge your faith in that very thing that the Holy Spirit has placed in your heart, a spouse. What’s the purpose in the fight for love? To not lose faith in love, the marriage partner that will complement your gifts and most importantly, to the God who created Marriage. So, you will have to on purpose, fight to keep that dream you have for love alive (until you see it manifested)!
With that, let’s read -> 1 Timothy 6:12 says (from the Amplified Bible): Fight the good fight of the faith [in the conflict with evil]; take hold of the eternal life to which you were called, and [for which] you made the good confession [of faith] in the presence of many witnesses.
Notice that it says fight the good fight of faith. So before we really begin, let me give you a song to prepare for what we’re about to get into. So, the devil is about to be exposed and I believe some people are going to be delivered or will actually be a warrior for the Lord and for the man/woman you’ve been praying for by the time the teaching is done. If you want to look at Ephesians 6:10-18, feel free.
Charles Jenkins - War
(Post 2 of 20) 8:21am
How many of you are now pumped and ready to begin? Praise God. In the first part of 1 Timothy 6:12, it says fight the good fight of faith. What is faith? Hebrews 11:1 says that faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Since we’re talking about love today, love is what many of you are hoping for (unless you plan on remaining single for the remainder of your life – and if God has called you to celibacy, praise God for that). In order to receive that hope for love, you have to have faith. So, why does Paul say to fight the good fight of faith?
It’s a good fight because you win – provided you don’t lose heart.
Because you’re technically not fighting the devil, the devil is after your faith.
Now let’s think about it, why is the devil after your faith? If he can steal your faith in Christ and in what He’s promised you, you will be a casualty and he can wreak havoc in your life. When your believing is off, your speaking will be off and eventually your life will be off. And if he has his way, he'll cause you to be so hurt to where you have mental blocks. Those mental blocks will keep you from not only the love of a mate that you so want, but also from God's best.
(Post 3 of 20) 8:32am
Let me devote a post to talk about faith and the devil’s plan to destroy your faith through a bad relationship. If you have gone through a bad relationship, either your faith is strong (and you recovered) or your faith is weak (to where you’re bitter). In most cases, the devil purposely caused the relationship to go bad (either from the start and you knew it, but still went through it – an open door for real; or you were blindsided as the relationship progressed, etc.). That was not to condemn you in any way. The reason why he did this was to steal your faith. I heard someone say this: if the devil can separate you from your faith, he can separate you from your ability to be victorious according to 1 John 5:4. In fact, the devil really doesn’t care about you, but he does care about the faith you have in Christ. Why is this so important? Because this is a faith fight, and if the Holy Spirit has given you the desire to love, then don’t think that you aren’t going to have to fight for it (and have faith that He will provide). So, keep this in mind: we’re not fighting the devil, a demon or a person. If he can separate us from our faith, then he will control you if not destroy you. Again, this means war! Look at Job for a moment; the devil thought that if he could wreak havoc in his life, Job would denounce his faith in God. Many of you know in 13:15 that Job says a powerful phrase, “Though he slay me, yet I will trust him.” Of course, it wasn’t God who slayed Job, it was the devil. Sadly, Job’s wife lost faith in Job and wanted Job to curse God. Job just had to go through the process in order to receive the promise. So, that brings me to my next song. If you can focus (and wait) on the promise, you can go through the process whether it’s good, bad or ugly.
Fred Hammond – They That Wait
(Post 4 of 20) 8:43am
Now let’s bring it back to love, since that is what we’re talking about. Waiting for love can be a challenge. But is it really a challenge? To your flesh, absolutely! To your spirit, nope! So, this is why we’re to deny the flesh and submit to God. Some of you might be wondering why is the wait so long? It can vary on many reasons. I heard a sister friend say these three things, but I’m going to give my thought on them.
- No consistent prayer life
- Baggage from your past
- God’s Timing
The first one, no consistent prayer life, really needs any explanation. But for the benefit of those who may not understand, let me explain. Does this mean you do a shut-in, stay in your prayer closet 24/7? Not totally, but the key here is really to commune with God (and for some of us, we just have to stop talking and just listen). Some of our prayers have to really change: I pray for this person to be my wife; I pray for this person to be my husband – how many of you have heard those before? Please don’t pray them. What God has actually had me do in the past few weeks is to start praying for/over my wife even as a single man (and I would encourage you to start praying over your spouse – the purpose is to get your heart right before God, and so He can fine tune how you pray His will for your spouse). I believe one reason He is having me do this is so when I receive my realized dream in the natural, I’m prepared (the key here is to be proactive). Another reason is so my heart is tuned to His prayers (especially when I’m praying in the Spirit). So many enter relationships unprepared. Is she the primary focus of my prayers? No, because I have to make Christ the first priority and He will not stand having your spouse as an idol. So, how do you build a consistent prayer life? Have a set time to pray. I’ll be honest, I pray when I’m in the shower – this is actually where my Jacob’s ladder is. It doesn’t matter where you pray, just give God some of your time every day, and meditate on His Word daily (I’ll talk about this thing called a “soul simulator” near the end of this lesson). Not because you want love, but because you love Him for who He is! So, let’s worship Him because of who He is right where you are! And besides, if you on purpose, delight yourself in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart. But don’t think that you’re just going to have the desires without a fight. So, you better put on your boxing gloves, or better yet, just whip the devil by blasting this song and just worship!
Israel & New Breed – You Are Good: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0E0ygsK9jMU
And a bonus: Martha Munizzi – Because of Who You Are:
(Post 5 of 20) 8:54am
Before I dive deeply into #2, let me skip over that and cover #3 first. This is about God’s timing. There are things that may have to happen before two hearts beat like one. For one person, God may want them to focus on a certain career, clean up their credit (now these are just examples), break any soul ties from their past, and be healed from their past. For another person, some soul ties from their past may need to be broken, and the list goes on. So, the key here is to not be presumptuous, but to trust God’s timing. Now will this easy? No. Will you have to fight as you wait? Yes. You are fighting/waiting for love with a purpose. As you are waiting on God, you are to be busy with His kingdom (that has to be first and foremost because you are a child of God). Take the time to ask God what needs to be addressed in your life so I can go from faith to faith and glory to glory. But also be willing to master the art of "shut yo' mouth!" Because what God may have you do won't make sense to your senses.
(Post 6 of 20) 9:06am
Now, let me talk about #2. Baggage from your past is really where I want to spend the rest of my time. If you’re currently wrestling with the baggage from your past (to the point that you’re doing everything you can to spot flaws in every person you come in contact with), that might be a case of oppression. You may also be dealing with baggage from your past when you start looking at your true brothers and sisters in Christ as your enemy. Understand, this is an indicator that your faith in God may be off. As stated in a prior post, once your faith is off, your thinking will be off, then your speaking will be off and eventually, your life will be off balance. If this is your battle, you’re not alone and please, please, please, don’t go it alone. Find a true brother/sister who is willing to lift up a war cry for you (and not cast you aside as a basket case). You are so worth fighting for (don't give up on yourself or don't give up on your healing), Jesus came to set your free. So, before I go further, let me give you a song that nearly had me in tears when I first heard it all the way through.
Brian Courtney Wilson – Worth Fighting For
(Post 7 of 20) 9:15am
If the devil can keep you bound with the baggage of your past, bringing all forms of guilt to your mind, such as “look at you, you broke a vow to God; you’re not redeemable!” “You know He hates divorce,” If you are struggling with this, can you declare this: Devil, you are a liar!
(Post 8 of 20) 9:28am
Now I’d like for you all to talk back to me. I am willing to believe that many in this group will be able to identify with this, and I also would like to challenge you from here on out.
Would you say that the main reason (if this applies to you) you want to remain single for the rest of your life is because you were damaged so badly? And you’re willing to not give God access to your life (or that area) because of the damage being so bad? Would you say that it’s a “trusting God” issue? Note: if God has called you to a life of celibacy, this won’t apply to you. Give God praise if He has truly called you to a life of celibacy.
(Post 9 of 20) 9:38am
Speaking of which, if you were damaged so badly, have you found yourself putting on a façade for your kids, your family and to the world? Is there a possibility that you have even put on a façade before God (considering He already knows that you’re hurt)? If I can encourage you as a brother in Christ, He already knows. In fact, here’s a song that was one of my favorites when I was a senior in high school (yes, I’m showing my age). I hope this song blesses you (and if you could hear me, you would hear me sing BeBe’s parts, note for note – in other words, I can sing – in fact that was my childhood dream). Anyway, if you’re one who’s carrying the pain of your past inside, know that I’m literally crying for you. Jesus doesn’t want you hurt (in fact, I’ll talk about an altar experience in my next post). Healing is the children’s bread.
BeBe & CeCe Winans – You Know And I Know
(Post 10 of 20) 9:49am
If you have a Bible near you, flip over to Genesis 22. It’s a very familiar story about Abraham and Isaac. God wanted Abraham to offer Isaac up as an offering. Now watch as the Lord dropped this in my heart. Now Isaac was a teenager when this event occurred. He could’ve willingly said I’m not going to do this. But both Abraham and Isaac were obedient. Now what was significant about this offering? It’s a total trust that God will provide if we surrender our body and life to him. What Abraham was saying when he did this was that I love God more than I do my son. What Isaac was saying that I have faith that God knows what He’s doing. And Abraham was instilling in Isaac that this is a time of worship and there’s a blessing when we’re obedient. So, an altar experience is needed for every one of you who has suffered pain that’s in your heart, soul and spirit. When you lay your life down on the altar, you are letting God burn the hurt out of you. The devil doesn’t want you to go to the altar (in fact he’ll planting a seeds of doubt that “you need to carry this pain of your past with you”). God wants to free you from the hurt but He also wants to test your faithfulness. Why? Because faithfulness brings promotion! The devil doesn’t want you promoted. Let me pause so you can praise Him in advance for your promotion as you make this declaration: Father, my life is no longer my own. I trust you with my life, my future, and the spouse you are preparing for me. I present my body as a living sacrifice, and I ask right now that you remove any hurt, emotional pain that’s in those places that I’ve bottled up in my heart; I believe that mental healing, physical healing and emotional healing is my portion and it’s part of the salvation package.
(Post 11 of 20) 9:55am
If you follow me on my FB wall, you know I talk extensively when I do lessons about what the body of Christ needs to do (as my ministry is really outside the church walls, but also ensuring that the inside is cleaned up so we don’t become beautiful on the outside, but full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean inside (Matthew 23:27).
I promise this is my one post on this.
Having said that, what bothers me so much, is our failure to be our brother/sister's keeper when someone is oppressed especially in the realm of relationships. No one should allow a brother/sister be so mentally/emotionally sick. So, any assignment the devil has over your life (and over my future spouse), I cancel that in Jesus' name. The devil wants to keep a brother/sister bound especially if he/she has suffered a death of a relationship. And if he can sabotage a person with the mistakes they willingly made, they will have wrong thinking. Sadly, there are bitter prophets, bitter apostles, bitter evangelists, bitter pastors and bitter teachers out there sucking the life of hurt people like a vacuum cleaner. I come against all of their teachings (as they are itching their ears with lies from the devil) in Jesus’ name.
Are you with me? We need each other to survive.
(Interlude 1) 10:10am
How important is it to not judge a hurt person’s emotions and holding the hurt person’s past against them?
(Interlude 2) 10:21am
Do you agree or disagree that when a hurt person is guarded & holds back, it’s because they are scared of getting into a relationship so fast (even though they know you’re right for them), when nothing in their past was ever made to last?
(Interlude 3) 10:33am
This is dedicated to the men - When we meet a woman who’s been hurt, we need to understand that she’s not our enemy. Sometimes she will not tell you everything about her life (and rightfully so), her past; understand who she is right where she is and just pray for her. That speaks volumes. Make the focus on her and her healing. A woman could be hurt because of something we may have said or done. Don’t hide it from her; tell the truth irrespective of the outcome.
Share your thoughts. Ladies, you can chime in too.
(Interlude 4) 10:43am
This is dedicated to the women - When you meet a man who’s been hurt, you need to know that he is not your enemy (especially if he’s covering you, and his heart’s desire is to grow in God – and that’s his first priority). We men have a strong tendency to let pride take over when we have so many hurts in our lives. Just pray for him right where he is. That speaks volumes.
Share your thoughts.
(Post 12 of 20) 10:55am
I want to devote this post as an opportunity to challenge you to offer up sentence prayers to the Lord on behalf of your brother or sister who is living in a state of emotional unavailability (as a result of a tumultuous relationship, marital infidelity, a painful childhood). It’s one thing to say, “Oh, they need to heal,” or just pass them off as broken people to leave them in the state they’re in. We can talk about them all day long, but then pray for whatever you desire. So, let’s start breaking chains off of brothers/sisters you know or may not know who desperately need your prayers. In fact, their spiritual life, mental life, emotional life and physical life is depending on your prayers. Some are denying their emotional pain (which is what the devil wants them to do – and some of them have succumb to denial); some have allowed their hearts to become so callous to where they hate the opposite sex. Some are too proud to even seek counseling, or to release their pain to God who loves them so much. Some don’t even know that they are even wounded to the point they are so callous to others and they believe that it’s normal. They’re not a ‘chic with an attitude’ as one woman would say. While they are in this state of mind, the enemy is sending decoys to really destroy their lives. I refuse to let them stay bound anymore. I told you all this fight is real. Don’t let me get spiritually drained or emotionally drained as I pour my heart praying for those who are bound by the devil (some have been bound for 10, 20, 30 or even 40 years). They want to be free! They need a healing. As you listen to this song, just start praying (and you can type your prayers in the comments below). Remember, we have the authority to loose those bands of bondage!
Jesus Culture – Break Every Chain:
Tasha Cobbs – Break Every Chain:
(Post 13 of 20) 11:07am
The reason for the prior post is because for many, your spouse may be one who’s currently in that “emotional unavailability” state, but needs your prayers so they can start their journey with Christ as He leads them to wholeness. Let’s face the hard reality, some may feel they are not ready. So, they just keep hurting. And I don’t know about you, but my heart really cries because they’re too strong to be weak. That mentality really signifies anger and a lot of fear. And what the devil is doing is planting seeds of “bad men” and “bad women” in their paths because they’re so off the path with the faith that God has given them and they will deceive them totally. This breeds another topic (legalism) which I will talk about a few posts later. Understand that the devil wants to keep these people in a position to where they’re not ready to surrender all to Him. This song (from CeCe’s Alabaster Box CD) in my opinion is overlooked. Keep the prayers of intercession flowing as you listen.
CeCe Winans – He’s Not On His Knees Yet
(Post 14 of 20) 11:16am
Now I hope you know, that as we were praying for these people, the devil is not happy! Great! Let him stay mad! He is the one who insists on those who are hurt to keep the same thought pattern. Now don’t be alarmed if those who we’re praying for are acting out of character when you see them (or they see you) or temporary cut you off (or just act irrational), remember, one of them could actually be your future spouse – the devil wants to continue to oppress them. But Jesus wants them free, and as we repent for living such selfish lives and start praying for others like we just did, angels are rejoicing in heaving. Jesus wants them whole just like He wants us to be whole. This is what it means to fight for love with a purpose.
(Post 15 of 20) 11:29am
Can I address something that’s dear to my heart? Because April is sexual assault awareness month, I don’t know how many who have suffered under the pain of childhood sexual abuse within this group. You don’t have to respond, but I have found that for many who are what the world calls “emotionally unavailable,” childhood sexual abuse is one of the causes of a damaged emotional state. This is another healing that requires a fight (and possibly professional help – and there’s nothing wrong with that considering that I’m also a childhood sexual abuse survivor). If you have your Bible with you, can you turn to James 5:16. Let’s just read the first part of this verse. Confess your faults one to another. Many people will think of faults as a person’s wrongdoing. Let’s look at the word “fault” from a geology perspective. It’s an extended break in a body of rock. Think about it, a break in a body of rock. We are created by the Rock! So, in order to heal, you have to confess to get it out. Holding it in (or denying it) will cause pain to you and others around you. In fact, two symptoms that can emerge are anger and fear. Because you were abused (and possibly abandoned/neglected), you may think that you have flaws. People may not love your flaws (and judge you), but God loves your flaws. The beauty of God is that He loves our flaws - in fact, they make us all beautiful.
Kierra Sheard – Flaws
(Post 16 of 20) 11:39am
As promised, I want to address those people who are so legalistic. These are the ones who are eager to point a finger at you to destroy your faith and to disrupt your communion with God. But if you haven’t confessed your hurts to God, your hurts will turn to bitterness which will cause you to view things in your mind through a filter and this will make your fight much more difficult. The devil will bring these legalistic Christians to tell you how condemned you are, that you’re in sin because you divorced, had pre-marital sex, and a host of other things; all designed to make your life a living hell. We as the body of Christ need to come along side of them (those who are hurt) in this fight.
(Final Interlude) 11:54am
Let’s talk about how intense the fight is (and why it’s important, even when you want a love from God), and why you must fight with a purpose.
When God connects you to someone and you know that this is a God- friendship/relationship, don’t think that life is going to be rosy. The devil is going to send some people to wreak havoc to break it up. In fact, there will be church folk praying that your friendship/relationship is destroyed because of envy, jealousy, or who knows what. And that’s probably under the guise of “misery loves company.” He’s more effective when you both are in your separate corners of the boxing ring. Now, let’s talk about what you need to watch for to maintain this God- friendship/relationship. Jonas Clark said this and this is going to shake the foundation for sure. In “How Witchcraft Spirits Attack,” he said this: people who operate in witchcraft are masters as pitting people against one another in order to separate and isolate them. And I believe personally this is happening inside the church. In fact, Jonas expounds by saying this: this spirit will do whatever it takes to control the environment and wants to be the limelight in your life. In fact, a person operating in this spirit wants to talk about them, them, and them. In fact, they signify a bizarre attempt to cut off any other relationships in your life. When it comes to attacks (this is really why you have to fight): Example: suppose a demon spoke to your mind saying "he doesn't love me; she's not praying for you," and you know that's far cry from the truth. You might have to something like this: You are a liar, demon. I reject that thought about my friend. My mind is under the protection of Jesus. I bind you from my thoughts. I command you to leave me alone, in the name of Jesus. This won't be a one-time thing; you will more & likely have to do this constantly until your mind is at peace. Because many of us are hurt or have been hurt, we have to seek God to see where and how demons have invaded. Don't mull over the past and what has happened. Now, it's time to close the door. And because you have someone in your life that's praying for you, with you and over you, you can really wreak havoc in the enemy's camp. I still believe this is why the enemy fights to separate two people who God joined together (whether it be friendship or relationship). But when they are together, warring against principalities, the friendship/relationship will blossom, healing will flourish and the devil will no longer have access to their lives anymore.
(Post 17 of 20) 12:03pm
Question: Why do you think pastors don't teach on emotional and mental healing – better yet, call it out (we always focus on physical healing)? There are so many tormented by the devil because of past mistakes.
(Post 18 of 20) 12:14pm
Here it is in 2016, and I’ve personally seen an epidemic of men and women who have been hurt by the opposing sex because they've been hurt (and if the devil has his way and we don’t assist in breaking their chains, will lead to bitterness, and bondage). Are you committed to the call as an intercessor or are you just going to be a by-stander?
(Bonus – this wasn’t planned) 12:19pm
If we follow our senses, we will give up on people who really need us. We need to believe in people when they're going through because God believes in us. Everyone in this group deserves a God-ordained spouse. So, this is my declaration to all who have been hurt: I will not give up on you even though others will quit on you. I won't condemn you like those legalistic people who say you are beyond hope or you will always be condemned in their eyes. I believe in you, and you are worth fighting for. You can call me a gold-digger (one who digs deep into you to find the true gold that's in your heart and spirit so you can be all that God wants you to be. I will on purpose fight with you and agree with you if you desire love.
(Post 19 of 20) 12:23pm
And I promised to talk about the soul simulator (courtesy of my pastor). God has designed mediation as a tool for man to draw things from the spirit world into his natural world; that's because we are a spirit, we have a soul, and we live in a body. If we're going to transform anything in our life, it must first begin with our thinking, which is part of the soul. Jesus truly becomes Lord of our lives when our souls come in agreement with Him and His Word. Meditation, unlike worry, is envisioning the manifested promises of God on the canvas of your imagination; it is part of the process to progress in your life. You see, we are what we think; therefore, we must align who we are in our souls (minds) to who God has created us to be in our spirits. One way to align your soul to the Word is to get IN the Word - not just read it, but also make yourself a part of what you read. See yourself in the scriptures regarding your health, your wealth, your wisdom, your mandated relationship/marriage and your victory. This is all a part of simulating your soul to what God wants for you. Another way to simulate is to calibrate your thoughts to the Word of God and speak those good things the Spirit of God would say. Remember, good thoughts we say and negative thoughts we cast away. The only place where limitations exist is in the mind, so take the limits off your mind through the Word. When your thinking is off, it throws off your speaking, and that ultimately throws off your living. Spend time, every day, visualizing mountains being removed and the joys of your destiny being fulfilled. Keep seeing it in your soul and saying it out of your mouth. Speak these words - "Jesus, fill my heart, flood my soul, and flow out of my mouth." I challenge every one of you in this group to spend more time in the soul simulator so that your thoughts will truly be His thoughts, and your ways will truly be His ways. Be determined to think big, dream big, and move mountains this year!
(Post 20 of 20) 12:34pm
In closing, don’t let your past and the enemies cloud your mind from receiving God’s best. If you desire to be married, don’t lose your faith in that (and in your love for God). Delight yourself in Him and seek Him first. If you’re one who has given up, please seek God for His plan for you. He knows what you need (and this even includes a mate if you need him or her to complete your destiny). Remember, we’re in the fight of life with a purpose. Don’t give up the fight; you are the winner. Just like you received Christ by faith, and now you have to fight for your faith with a purpose. This is no different than fighting for the love that’s ordained by God with a purpose. I thank you all for your time today, and I pray that you are blessed, highly favored and empowered to prosper in all areas of your life. I leave you all with three songs (let these songs bless you) – and they will be in the comments.
William McDowell – Spirit Break Out:
Maurette Brown Clark – Sovereign God
Bishop Paul S. Morton (featuring Tasha Cobbs) – For Your Glory