Back in March of 2014, I did a series on my blog called Relationship 101 (if you missed it, here's the link).
Between April & May of 2014, I posted the second revelation on FB. So, here it is, compiled & unedited.
This revelation focuses on PFTT in relationships. It's about patience, it's about faith, it's about trust (some of you are thinking about Sade's Nothing Can Come Between Us now - smile) and it's about time.
All four of those are critical in a relationship. Both a man and a woman (especially if they love each other) must allow those 4 things to grow and mature until they can come to a place where a man can say to his wife, I have full confidence in you (and vice versa).
If the issues of the past have not been resolved & brought out in the open, there will be a weight. The test of how strong a couple really is, is how they handle the circumstances in life and in each other.
Hebrews 12:1 says to lay aside every weight. Unresolved past issues or past relationships are weights that must be addressed so you can walk in liberty. Where the spirit of The Lord is, there is liberty. Another indicator of a weight is when an issue occurs (in or out of a relationship) and your heart rate goes up. Address that before the situation weighs you down. When the weights are laid aside and you’re at liberty, you still have to trust God.
Most of the time we know when something within us is hindering us; we should never override it or ignore it. It must be dealt with in order to receive God's best in your life & relationship.
There will be times where we will have to ask ourselves, "how comfortable am I in my own skin with my past and can I view my past as being in the past and not bring it into my present or my future?"
What are reasons past issues/past relationships may come up in your life? Here’s one thought:
We haven’t sufficiently dealt with it, put it away, slayed that giant as it were.
Patience is good in a relationships, but the key in relationships is to move past the past to be able to give yourself totally and unhindered - and that requires faith.
Communication is vital in a relationship - both parties need to be honest and transparent with each other. Questions such as this need to come out, "how would you feel if this were to happen?"
Sometimes it’s real easy to give a theoretical answer to a question when the real response should be “I don’t know how I’ll react to this situation if it comes up.” The reason is because the situation is not there yet, and/or you’re not husband & wife yet.
Never be pressured (or move too quickly) into a relationship because of XYZ & neither party should pressure each other as well. An Ishmael can be created as a result - the focus here is patience, faith, trust & God’s timing when a man & woman join together (or when a married couple gives birth to a child).
The Bible says in your patience you possess your soul (Luke 21:19). If two people know they're to be together, time is not to be the driver of what they do. Yes, time is to be enjoyed and time is important, but it's not to be behind the wheel of their lives.
Our timetable will always take us sooner than we should go, it can make us pay more than we thought we would pay and we will not be ready to deal with what we face at our destination.
In the fullness of time God sent His Son (Galatians 4:4). Just like Jesus, who was sent in the fullness of time, relationships are like fruit and must be plucked in the fullness of time. Sure, we can pluck fruit at anytime, but when it’s plucked at the right time, it tastes best and it’s most delicious.
Relationships should never be rushed because of our timetable. Ecclesiastes 3 says to everything there is a season, and a time to every matter under heaven.
Discerning of the time is very important. Gehazi made a mistake in not discerning the time (2 Kings 5:15-27). Don’t allow time to discern you and put pressure on you. In your patience you possess your soul.
In a relationship, there’s never 100% surety. If we wait till everything is perfect, that time will never seem to come.
Do you believe this scripture to also apply in relationships (from Ecclesiastes 11:4): He who observes the wind [and waits for all conditions to be favorable] will not sow, and he who regards the clouds will not reap?
The bigger the endeavor, whether it be marriage or another endeavor that’s big, requires a great degree of faith.
Many times in relationships, people wait till the T's are crossed and the I's are dotted, but Proverbs 14:12 says There is a way which seems right to a man and appears straight before him, but at the end of it is the way of death.
A man is supposed to take care of his family, but at the same time he must have faith that God will provide (if he knows he’s not where he wants to be financially), discern the time to commit to the relationship or jump the broom, and know that God is a progressive God. #PreachingToMe :)
In a relationship, both parties should not seek to go to third base or home plate without having gone through first or second plate.
Relationships typically fail because people look at it naturally when God looks at it spiritually.
Do you believe that some (if not all) relationships require the same amount of faith & trust in God that Abraham had when he was told to leave his country and go wherever God led him?
And in closing:
If a man has found a woman who he believes is the one, he must pray, discern the time, be patient and know that every step he takes from that point forward is a step of faith.
The Mayne Man