Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Why Suffering In Silence Causes Suicide

This was an unexpected post, but this is very important. If you are contemplating or even attempting suicide, I'm declaring a trigger warning if you proceed to read it, but more importantly, please seek help. I am going to say that numerous times in this post.

You know, it's important to have people who will have your back no matter what you're going through. Some of you are probably thinking, with the people in my circle, who needs enemies. You have to say or do something drastic just to be heard. Or when you reach out, no one is there (or if they do, they're doing you a favor), but you have to be there for them when they're hurting. It's been said life is hard, and only the strong survive. There's probably a question going through your mind: how do I get strong? You start by loving the person you were created to be. It doesn't happen overnight. It might be a process especially if rejection and abuse is all you've received for most of your life. Support is needed to help you through it (and not everybody in your circle may be cut out to be your support).

When I went through my suicidal spell in 2011, I can't even begin to tell you how many people were willing to let me suffer in silence. If you are currently suffering in silence, I pray that you seek help. Sadly, there are people in this world (and they may be in your circle) who could care less if you live or die. And there are people with no conscious and will ridicule you to the point where you commit suicide to some capacity (it may not always be physical, but it could be mental suicide or emotional suicide). Adding on, there are people in this world who have no heart and their heart's desire is to point fingers at you (i.e., state that everything is your fault) to cause your suicide. 

Questions: do you feel like you're being punished in life and that your purpose here on earth is to suffer? I pray you won't feel that way as you read. Do you feel that you have to lie when people ask how are you? In fact, you know they want to see a Joel Osteen smile when the truth is, you're trying to find out how you are going to cope with the pain that's on your mind and your heart.

Now for many who are suffering in silence, it may seem like you will have to walk alone (because your circle is full of people instilling fear and judgment). Now there are some reading this telling those suffering that it's their perception and they need to change it. I challenge you to understand them so they feel like they're understood (even if you don't believe what they believe). I guarantee you, they are willing to listen if you are not pointing a finger and saying that everything from childhood till now is their fault. And to immediately say that they need to go to therapy without any emotion is going to alienate them (and cause them to feel they are worthless). 

If you are suffering in silence, you may feel like you are shut out from the world, and that you must go away. If this is you, I can imagine that you're crying right now and I feel your tears. I beg that you don't do it, no matter how much you want to.

Despite the people who want to see you fail in life, the people who want to take advantage of you, the people who want to add alcohol to your wounds, and sadly the people who want to see you dead; you have something to live for. You may not know right now, but I ask that you don't give up. It's hard when you have been rejected from heartless people and those who mean well (but can't communicate it well - to this group, don't stop loving the one who's hurting).

You may have made a mistake in life and you feel that you have to suffer in silence. If this is you, you don't have to suffer (but please be careful who you share that with). Finding the right person may be hard, and I would be less than a man if I didn't say that. As a result, you may feel forced to suffer in silence. 

Let me say this: God is listening and He knows where you are. When no human being wants to listen, He will. He knows that love is growing cold and that we lack long suffering (patience). He knows that we fail to bear each other's burdens and that we're selfish at times. He knows that you want to just crawl up into a ball and die even as you are reading this right now. 

If you are reading this and you know someone suffering in silence, please don't X them out of your life. They really do need you. In fact, you could not only save their life from suicide, but you can help them advance to the next level in their lives. That does not mean you say "Get over it!" Or "It's Gonna Get Better," and leave it at that. Don't accuse them and make them feel as if they are at fault. Build them up with words of healing and strength. For an exercise: look at Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. If you know someone who is shutting the world off because they are wounded, and feel like they are being judged (or they won't be heard), keep seeking them and pray for them. People are dying by the dozens daily because they are suffering in silence and they feel like they are to suffer alone. The reason why suffering in silence causes suicide is because they feel like their suffering alone. They don't want to die, they want to live. Cliches truthfully add more wounds to them. Their pain can go all the way back to childhood or it can be recent such as a breakup of a friendship/relationship. 

In closing: if you are suffering and need someone to listen, please call a therapist, or a good friend who won't judge you and add further inflictions to your wounds.


The Mayne Man

1 comment:

  1. Yep suffering solo. I lost a cousin to suicide and sadly I don't think she confessed to anyone since most people say "I have my own problems...and.?" So that is why many of us are solo suffering through our own stuff. No one wants to hear it honestly.