Earlier today, I posted the 3rd Revelation of Relationship
101. Now as I promised, here's a response from a woman's perspective to the
same 3 questions.
I asked Pastor Shantae Charles & Evangelist Marva
Johnson to weigh in on these questions. So, without further delay, let's get
into it.
Question 1:
In the realm of relationships (marriage), would you say that
for a man, a protector is who he is or are there things he can learn to be
better equipped as a protector of his wife and kids?
Pastor Charles: There are always things a man can learn to
be a better protector. Practically, he can receive mentorship or take classes
in his weak areas. Spiritually, he can read the Word of God which is laced with
much wisdom throughout in nearly every area of life.
Evangelist Johnson: The way that God created men, that's one
of Adam's responsibilities. At the same time, a woman has to know God first as
her husband. It's important that a woman knows that it's God first, especially
if a woman has been in a toxic relationship (abuse, abandonment, etc.). Those
relationships leave holes in a woman and if she doesn't know God as a protector
first, she will put undue pressure on the next man to ensure what happened
before doesn't happen again. A man is supposed to protect and provide, but
there's a lot that a woman needs to be and to do for a relationship to be balanced.
Question 2:
There are some men who can claim to be protectors, but are
impostors. What can women do in this case?
Pastor Charles: Women can pray and seek God first of all.
They can ask for God's discernment to expose impostors. They can also introduce
the person of interest to men they trust who can give an honest assessment of
the person. A man's night out with some of your male friends can expose what he
may keep hidden from your view as woman (like a wandering eye, for instance).
Evangelist Johnson: Sadly, this is a time where the very
elect will be deceived (in fact, Jesus said if it were possible, even the very
elect will be deceived). There are many impostors, predators, vampires &
pimps in the church.
If a woman is in the Word and spending time with God, she
can protect herself. The only way a woman can be deceived is if she wants to be
deceived. The Holy Spirit sends flags (and examples in the Word). Adam didn't
have to eat that fruit, he CHOSE to. The same holds true for women and men too.
Women need to go slow and not get caught up in emotions. Slow & steady wins
the race. If you're caught up in emotions, you'll miss the signs (and the devil
will come as an angel of light). Look at relationships like layers. You have to
peel and peel till you get to the core. In fact, the further you peel, the more
it burns your eyes. Chefs will tell you to put an onion in the freezer for 15
minutes. If a woman keeps herself cool (and under control) she can read the
signs. In fact, 6-9 months you'll start to see who he is. If a woman is
connected to God, impostors will eventually be exposed.
Question 3:
There may be men who may feel like they are not prepared (or
they are but the enemy is attempting with every fiber to get in his mind to say
"you're not prepared, she can see through you, or you're trying to win her
over)," what can the men & women do?
Pastor Charles: There is a level of preparation that has to
occur, but I also see preparation used as a stall method for being indecisive.
If you are not ready, get ready. If you are not ready, give yourself a time
frame that you will seek to be in preparation mode (6 months to a year),
focusing on things you see that may need to change in you. Don't let it be an
open-ended phrase, because you will not prepare.
Evangelist Johnson: Prayer and fasting is it right there.
When you can't do it, God can. He will give you insight on what to do and not
to do. The key is to stay open before The Lord for that's going to help protect
your wife and kids. Know what your call is and what battles you have to fight.
Once you get out of the emotional realm, it's easier to get into the spiritual
realm for that person God called you to. Men need to govern themselves
according to Scripture. A man needs to lead himself before he can lead his
family. There is a difference between single and being married. When he gets
married, things will shift because your wife and kids now is your ministry; but
he must maintain his relationship with The Lord. When he's single, he could
just focus on The Lord, marriage requires a shift. One more thing a man needs
to do is to cast down every thought that comes against God and against your
mate. A book I recommend is by John Eckhardt entitled Prayers That Rout
Demons.
I pray this has blessed someone.
As you have read both of their responses, don't be surprised
if you see Shantae's responses again in Volume 2 of Robert & Shantae's
marriage series. If you want to get volume 1, here's the link (and it's only
available as an e-book).
In closing, Shantae did a lesson on Broken Ribs. I encourage
you all to check this out.
Great post. I appreciate the insight given.
ReplyDeleteAwesome insight...my wisdom has increased!
ReplyDeleteI was blessed to receive this message. Thank you
ReplyDeleteI like this blog post/interview! Good answers by the two ladies. I also subscribed to Shantae YouTube page
ReplyDelete