Earlier today, I posted the 3rd Revelation of Relationship 101. Now as I promised, here's a response from a woman's perspective to the same 3 questions.
I asked Pastor Shantae Charles & Evangelist Marva Johnson to weigh in on these questions. So, without further delay, let's get into it.
In the realm of relationships (marriage), would you say that for a man, a protector is who he is or are there things he can learn to be better equipped as a protector of his wife and kids?
Pastor Charles: There are always things a man can learn to be a better protector. Practically, he can receive mentorship or take classes in his weak areas. Spiritually, he can read the Word of God which is laced with much wisdom throughout in nearly every area of life.
Evangelist Johnson: The way that God created men, that's one of Adam's responsibilities. At the same time, a woman has to know God first as her husband. It's important that a woman knows that it's God first, especially if a woman has been in a toxic relationship (abuse, abandonment, etc.). Those relationships leave holes in a woman and if she doesn't know God as a protector first, she will put undue pressure on the next man to ensure what happened before doesn't happen again. A man is supposed to protect and provide, but there's a lot that a woman needs to be and to do for a relationship to be balanced.
There are some men who can claim to be protectors, but are impostors. What can women do in this case?
Pastor Charles: Women can pray and seek God first of all. They can ask for God's discernment to expose impostors. They can also introduce the person of interest to men they trust who can give an honest assessment of the person. A man's night out with some of your male friends can expose what he may keep hidden from your view as woman (like a wandering eye, for instance).
Evangelist Johnson: Sadly, this is a time where the very elect will be deceived (in fact, Jesus said if it were possible, even the very elect will be deceived). There are many impostors, predators, vampires & pimps in the church.
If a woman is in the Word and spending time with God, she can protect herself. The only way a woman can be deceived is if she wants to be deceived. The Holy Spirit sends flags (and examples in the Word). Adam didn't have to eat that fruit, he CHOSE to. The same holds true for women and men too. Women need to go slow and not get caught up in emotions. Slow & steady wins the race. If you're caught up in emotions, you'll miss the signs (and the devil will come as an angel of light). Look at relationships like layers. You have to peel and peel till you get to the core. In fact, the further you peel, the more it burns your eyes. Chefs will tell you to put an onion in the freezer for 15 minutes. If a woman keeps herself cool (and under control) she can read the signs. In fact, 6-9 months you'll start to see who he is. If a woman is connected to God, impostors will eventually be exposed.
There may be men who may feel like they are not prepared (or they are but the enemy is attempting with every fiber to get in his mind to say "you're not prepared, she can see through you, or you're trying to win her over)," what can the men & women do?
Pastor Charles: There is a level of preparation that has to occur, but I also see preparation used as a stall method for being indecisive. If you are not ready, get ready. If you are not ready, give yourself a time frame that you will seek to be in preparation mode (6 months to a year), focusing on things you see that may need to change in you. Don't let it be an open-ended phrase, because you will not prepare.
Evangelist Johnson: Prayer and fasting is it right there. When you can't do it, God can. He will give you insight on what to do and not to do. The key is to stay open before The Lord for that's going to help protect your wife and kids. Know what your call is and what battles you have to fight. Once you get out of the emotional realm, it's easier to get into the spiritual realm for that person God called you to. Men need to govern themselves according to Scripture. A man needs to lead himself before he can lead his family. There is a difference between single and being married. When he gets married, things will shift because your wife and kids now is your ministry; but he must maintain his relationship with The Lord. When he's single, he could just focus on The Lord, marriage requires a shift. One more thing a man needs to do is to cast down every thought that comes against God and against your mate. A book I recommend is by John Eckhardt entitled Prayers That Rout Demons.
I pray this has blessed someone.
As you have read both of their responses, don't be surprised if you see Shantae's responses again in Volume 2 of Robert & Shantae's marriage series. If you want to get volume 1, here's the link (and it's only available as an e-book).
In closing, Shantae did a lesson on Broken Ribs. I encourage you all to check this out.