If God Really Loved Me, Why Was I Abused As A Child?

If God really loved me, why was I abused as a child? How many of you have heard people ask that question? I have a better question: have you ever wondered that yourself? When I think about it, that question could be modified to fit whatever you have been through (natural disaster, loss of a child, loss of a parent, etc.). But for this post, I want to focus on childhood abuse (physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse and verbal abuse). Is this question a valid question? Hand down, yes it is. And it deserves an answer (which will come during the course of this blogpost). Before diving into this post, I do need to say one thing: if you have asked this question and came through, just read and enjoy this post. If you have asked this question and have turned away from God because of what you went through (or perhaps you have some scars that are in need of healing), I dedicate this blogpost to you. Also, if anybody has condemned you, or looked at you strange because you have asked that question (you know, the “how dare you ask that”), you will not get that out of me. Allow this blogpost to touch your heart and spirit.

Psalm 27:10 (from the Amplified Bible) says this: Although my father and my mother have abandoned me, yet the Lord will take me up [adopt me as His child]. This will be the foundational verse for this blogpost. If you have suffered any type of abuse mentioned in the above paragraph, you’ve probably had these questions in your mind:

Why didn’t those who said they loved me protect me? Why does my family fight so hard to cover up the abuse that I suffered? What did I do to deserve this abuse? Was it because I was born that I deserve this? Was I not even wanted? Was I an afterthought?

I’ll be honest; some of those questions were in my mind as I went through my teen years.

Let’s take this a step further: when you went through your abuse, did any of these become part of your life (you don’t have to share, just think about it):

You became more of a social butterfly

You became an introvert

You became promiscuous (sex addict)

You found yourself attracted to someone of the same sex

You decided to be asexual

You abstained because of the hurt suffered (either by choice or you were mocked by the opposite/same sex that forced you to abstain)

You found yourself running to Christianity (or a different religion)

You found yourself turned off from Christianity (or a different religion)

Again I’ll be honest. Out of the items listed above, I became an introvert (part of that was due to me having Asperger’s), abstained from sex – partly by choice and partly because I was mocked during my school years and I found myself running to religion (Christianity) for refuge.

So let’s go back to the original question: If God really loved me, why was I abused as a child? The question sounds complicated, doesn’t it? Is the answer complicated? It depends. Because of the abuse you suffered, you might have some physical and mental scars, along with holes in your heart and spirit. Now, I mentioned Psalm 27:10 earlier and some of you might have grown up in a religious home where there was abuse. Because the abuse occurred by someone in your family, you are disgusted with religion and don’t want anything to do with it. Do I understand? Absolutely. Is the abuse your fault (or was the abuse merit)? Absolutely not!! Does God for this type of abuse? Again, absolutely not!! This is where Psalm 27:10 really shines. Abuse is really abandonment and rejected – and those that were supposed to protect you really forsook you. In fact Matthew 18: 4-6 says this (and this is Jesus speaking to His disciples): therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever receives and welcomes one child like this in My name receives Me; but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble and sin [by leading him away from My teaching], it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone [as large as one turned by a donkey] hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.

Now, why did God allow it to happen to you? This is an excellent question. We may not know the reason why while we’re here on earth, and keep one thing in mind: His ways are not our ways (in fact, they’re higher than ours).  If we were to look at the book of Job (especially the first 2 chapters), you’ll find that the devil wanted access to Job’s life to do harm. God allowed the devil to do certain things (except kill him). After the devil did his damage, God restored everything the devil destroyed at the end of the book (the 42^nd chapter to be exact). And if you have suffered, be encouraged that He will restore you and make your latter years greater than the former years. Note, the devil (in John 10:10) desires to steal, kill and destroy. He hates us. We suffered, and we may have holes as a result of what happened, but we can get healed and be restored. What’s key is that we have to fight for our healing and do our part (God wants to restore us). Don’t be afraid if you’re on the fence about it, go ahead and give Him a chance. You have nothing to lose.

Blessings,

The Mayne Man

P.S. If you can spare 3 minutes, on the right hand side of my blog, you’ll see a video (where I take the IAmMe Challenge); allow that song to bless your heart and spirit. And yes, I wrote and sing the 2^nd verse and the bridge. 

Lord, Where Are You

Hebrews 11:1 says now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Many people have heard many interpretations of that verse. For this post, we’re going to focus on having a faith in Him that will carry us when we go through a period of testing and trials in life. At the very end, I’m going to share a little of my struggle during the course of writing my novel, and I wondered where the Lord was.

If we looked at the three Hebrew boys in Daniel 3; you’ll find them at the point where they’re about to be thrown in the fire. Let’s focus closely where they tell the king that our God is able to deliver us from the fire and from the king. They were determined that God will deliver them from their trouble. You have to admit that the boys had a faith that was on point. And you have to admit that this was a trial that would cost them their lives. Because they responded to the king that they weren’t going to bow down to him, the furnace was seven times hotter. The king’s men bound them up and prepared them for the furnace, now watch this: the king’s men ended up in the fire. As a result, the three boys fell into the fire. Let’s pause for a minute. Where’s God in all of this? When we’re in the middle of a crisis, we tend to ask, Lord, where are you. Hopefully, after reading this, you won’t have to ask where He is (or encourage somebody who needs to know God is with them). The three boys weren’t initially delivered from the king or the fire. It was when they were in the fire that God walked with them. Sometimes God won’t deliver us when we’re going through a test or a trial. He will wait till we’re in it to deliver us. What we have to do is to have God’s Word in our heart and a faith that He is with us at all times. With that said, we must have a faith that He will deliver us in His time.

You might have gone through something in your life, and wondered where the Lord was. There’s a possibility that you went through it and weren’t delivered, not because He doesn’t love you or doesn’t care about you; you were chosen to make a serious impact around you. Think about this, when God walked with the three Hebrew boys, what happened? They were called out, and the king worshipped the true & living God. That’s serious. You are a survivor of something unique that can have a positive impact on someone else’s life and the devil doesn’t like you at all. If he can keep you in further torment, you won’t make an impact around you.

The devil wants you to bow down to him. And that’s typically how he’ll do it. He’ll threaten you to comply so you won’t make an impact. Now, I’m not saying that you have to willingly endure hardships. God will allow it for His purpose (though the devil wants to destroy you).

In Genesis 39, when Joseph was thrown in the pit, you’ll find it stated multiple times that the Lord was with Joseph. Potiphar’s wife lied on him (a trap from the devil). If Joseph gave in, his impact to Egypt would’ve been stifled. But Joseph did the right thing and still faced another hardship due to the lie of Potiphar’s wife. God will still with Him and was given favor in prison. God wants you to know that He’s with you in your darkest hour and that you believe He will deliver you and provide for you; but you have faith that He is will you and you are not forgotten. Have faith in His Word, His will for your life, and He will take care of you.

Now let’s pause for a moment. Think back to when you last said, Lord where are you? What was going on in your life? Was it a financial setback? Was someone trying to harm you physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually? Were you let go from your job? Did you lose your child via a miscarriage? And you needed the Lord the day before yesterday.  Of course, there are many more scenarios that I didn’t mention where you needed the Lord the day before yesterday. When you were in this scenario, you were praying, fasting, asking someone to intercede for you, or probably running away from God in anger. Does that sound accurate? Even though all of that occurred, God came through at the last minute (in our eyes, of course). What’s the message here, God knows what’s best for us and wants to have a faith in Him that He is with us no matter what we’re dealing with in life (whether good or bad).

As I promised, here’s what I went through. During the time of writing my novel, I faced something that almost took my life and I wondered where God was at a desperate time of need. Late last year, I experienced the breakup of a friendship. To me it was devastating and I really wanted a relationship with her. I felt that my life was over and I seriously contemplated ending my life. I asked God almost every night, where was He and to take these feelings from me. I was literally left alone (with the exception of very few friends who really prayed for me), for people were abandoning me leaving me to deal with this on my own (and some probably didn’t want to pray for me). I struggled with that for about 4 months until the time I submitted my novel to my editor. The novel wasn’t the cause for me feeling that way, it was the relationship going wrong. I felt like everything was my fault (and granted, people inside & outside the church were saying it was my fault and that I need to deal with it). God showed me that He was with me through it all and it showed during the writing of the novel. If you have a copy of my novel, look at the acknowledgments and you’ll find that was very personal to me. If I had given up, like the devil wanted me to, you all wouldn’t have a novel (and believe me, the devil would’ve been ecstatic if had not been released). I thank you all for receiving my novel so graciously, and most importantly, I give God praise for the strength and being with me through writing it. With that, I want to thank my editor and copyeditor for being my friends through it. You two had to hear me my cries the most (apart from the Lord, of course).

In closing, when we ask the Lord, where is He; remember He said in His Word, that He will never leave us no forsake us. It may not seem like He’s there when we want Him to be, but He’s always there. He’ll show up in His time when we’re in a difficult situation. Most cases, it’s to build our faithfulness in Him, and for us to strengthen someone else after we’ve made it through. Now I have to thank God because He has really strengthened me after releasing my novel. Someone else can say that they have been strengthened by Him after gone through something traumatic. Don’t let the devil lie to you saying that He’s forgotten about you. But remember, we have choices to make and we must learn to make Godly choices under pressure. Even if we make unrighteous choices, we repent and He will still be with us. Now the question we really should be asking is not where God is; but asking where we are. Most of the time, we’re hiding like Adam & Eve from the Lord. He wants us to run to Him (whether we sin or not). Let’s stop our hiding and find refuge in a God who loves us, who is with us and wants us to be faithful to Him alone.