If God Really Loved Me, Why Was I Abused As A Child?

If God really loved me, why was I abused as a child? How many of you have heard people ask that question? I have a better question: have you ever wondered that yourself? When I think about it, that question could be modified to fit whatever you have been through (natural disaster, loss of a child, loss of a parent, etc.). But for this post, I want to focus on childhood abuse (physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse and verbal abuse). Is this question a valid question? Hand down, yes it is. And it deserves an answer (which will come during the course of this blogpost). Before diving into this post, I do need to say one thing: if you have asked this question and came through, just read and enjoy this post. If you have asked this question and have turned away from God because of what you went through (or perhaps you have some scars that are in need of healing), I dedicate this blogpost to you. Also, if anybody has condemned you, or looked at you strange because you have asked that question (you know, the “how dare you ask that”), you will not get that out of me. Allow this blogpost to touch your heart and spirit.

Psalm 27:10 (from the Amplified Bible) says this: Although my father and my mother have abandoned me, yet the Lord will take me up [adopt me as His child]. This will be the foundational verse for this blogpost. If you have suffered any type of abuse mentioned in the above paragraph, you’ve probably had these questions in your mind:

Why didn’t those who said they loved me protect me? Why does my family fight so hard to cover up the abuse that I suffered? What did I do to deserve this abuse? Was it because I was born that I deserve this? Was I not even wanted? Was I an afterthought?

I’ll be honest; some of those questions were in my mind as I went through my teen years.

Let’s take this a step further: when you went through your abuse, did any of these become part of your life (you don’t have to share, just think about it):

You became more of a social butterfly

You became an introvert

You became promiscuous (sex addict)

You found yourself attracted to someone of the same sex

You decided to be asexual

You abstained because of the hurt suffered (either by choice or you were mocked by the opposite/same sex that forced you to abstain)

You found yourself running to Christianity (or a different religion)

You found yourself turned off from Christianity (or a different religion)

Again I’ll be honest. Out of the items listed above, I became an introvert (part of that was due to me having Asperger’s), abstained from sex – partly by choice and partly because I was mocked during my school years and I found myself running to religion (Christianity) for refuge.

So let’s go back to the original question: If God really loved me, why was I abused as a child? The question sounds complicated, doesn’t it? Is the answer complicated? It depends. Because of the abuse you suffered, you might have some physical and mental scars, along with holes in your heart and spirit. Now, I mentioned Psalm 27:10 earlier and some of you might have grown up in a religious home where there was abuse. Because the abuse occurred by someone in your family, you are disgusted with religion and don’t want anything to do with it. Do I understand? Absolutely. Is the abuse your fault (or was the abuse merit)? Absolutely not!! Does God for this type of abuse? Again, absolutely not!! This is where Psalm 27:10 really shines. Abuse is really abandonment and rejected – and those that were supposed to protect you really forsook you. In fact Matthew 18: 4-6 says this (and this is Jesus speaking to His disciples): therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever receives and welcomes one child like this in My name receives Me; but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble and sin [by leading him away from My teaching], it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone [as large as one turned by a donkey] hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.

Now, why did God allow it to happen to you? This is an excellent question. We may not know the reason why while we’re here on earth, and keep one thing in mind: His ways are not our ways (in fact, they’re higher than ours).  If we were to look at the book of Job (especially the first 2 chapters), you’ll find that the devil wanted access to Job’s life to do harm. God allowed the devil to do certain things (except kill him). After the devil did his damage, God restored everything the devil destroyed at the end of the book (the 42^nd chapter to be exact). And if you have suffered, be encouraged that He will restore you and make your latter years greater than the former years. Note, the devil (in John 10:10) desires to steal, kill and destroy. He hates us. We suffered, and we may have holes as a result of what happened, but we can get healed and be restored. What’s key is that we have to fight for our healing and do our part (God wants to restore us). Don’t be afraid if you’re on the fence about it, go ahead and give Him a chance. You have nothing to lose.

Blessings,

The Mayne Man

P.S. If you can spare 3 minutes, on the right hand side of my blog, you’ll see a video (where I take the IAmMe Challenge); allow that song to bless your heart and spirit. And yes, I wrote and sing the 2^nd verse and the bridge. 

Would You Curse God?

This was a lesson typed March 2007.

If you were to look at the first two chapters of Job, we could probably say that we all face the same experiences that Job does. Like Job, God is bragging about us when we are serving God and obeying what He tells us to do. And then there's Satan who wants to throw accusations about us to discredit how we are living. God tells Satan that you can do what you want to Job, but you can't kill him. So, Satan starts his tirades against Job, but Job didn't curse God. In the second chapter, Job's wife wants Job to curse God, but Job doesn't do it. Now, here's where this gets serious (some of you know who I'm really talking to). I know for some of you brothers, thought your only source of happiness is having sexual relations with women (at the expense of their feelings), and I know for some of you sisters, your source of happiness is having a relationship and/or marriage (at the expense of your own feelings). You see, as we live day to day, God has equipped you to do something and the devil is placing in your life things that will try to keep you as far away from His grace. Using my life as a example, I could've continued on the wrong path of life (for those who know my story). And that was what the devil wanted to do because that particular path is a grave sin to God . Is that a legitimate excuse to curse God? No, but that's what the devil wants. Now, the devil tempts you with things that are your greatest weakness, so that he can discredit your right standard with God. He wants to get you in a position where you can curse God, where God wants to walk through that fire with you (like He did with the three Hebrew boys in Daniel 3). Yes, God knows what we're going to do, (if you were to read the final four chapters of Deuteronomy, you'll find that God through Moses said that the children of Israel were going to turn their backs on God after they crossed over to the promised land). And right after Joshua died, they turned their backs on God (in Judges 1-2). Now God didn't want that to happen, but the children of Israel's hearts were stubborn. Now, he knows what we're going to do, but the thing about it is this, God wants to build you up (if you will allow Him to), and the devil wants to keep you down and blame God for everything. Therefore, you start to live for yourself. Some of you might be blaming or cursing God because you're a single parent, or because you can't find a mate. God wants to be your mate, and that Father to you and your child. Some of you might be blaming or cursing God because you are bound up in a situation, God said that we are more than conquerors through Him that loves us (Romans 8:37). So, look at your current situation, or better yet, look at everything you've been through in your life. Would you curse God?  Are you really going to agree with Job's wife and have the audacity to curse God and die? All things work for good according to His purpose. Back to my story, he took my story to help other people be set free and realized they don't have to be bound by their pass and they press for the mark of the high calling of God in Christ (Philippians 3:13). So, if you are blaming God, or better yet cursing God for your current situation, know that you're falling for the trap of Satan. God would never leave you alone. He loves you too much to let you go. It's my prayer that you know the love of God is real, and will wrap your wounded heart and spirit in a bandage of His love. Trust it in faith, and go on in Jesus' name.

Why Bad Things Happen To Good People?

The inspiration for this title came from a blog post last Sunday (entitled Live To Tell Your Story) written by Shantae Charles (her blog is http://legsclosedmindopen.blogspot.com/).  This is a question many people ask (and it’s a question used as a justification to blame God or turn away from Him), and I’ve thought of this many times when it seems like the wrongdoers are rewarded (so it seems). A rapper named R-Swift did a thought-provoking song entitled American Soil, where the gist of the song is saying that we’re blaming the youth for the things that are wrong, but in reality, they got it from past generations. Another focus of the song is that we want to live how we want to live (apart from God), much like the children of Israel, until somebody spills blood on our country.

I have to agree, if we were to spiritually look at this, it starts all the way back to Cain & Abel. Abel was a righteous man, but Cain killed him. But if you really get down to it, there’s no good in us. Sure, we may do good things, but not all the time. The reason is simply because the heart is deceitful and prone to wander away from doing what’s right. I’ll use myself. I don’t good things all the time, and I’ve even done things to harm those who never did me any harm.

Now, let’s remove the spiritual aspect for a moment. Some people may ask why the school shootings? Why the bombings? Why the wars? And why (out of all things) does God allow this to happen? I believe He’s trying to get our attention, but we’re constantly telling Him to back off, leave us alone. This has been going on for generations (much like the children of Israel). We want to pray when a tragedy happens and then want revenge. But no one wants to take a look at the wrongs we’ve done to innocent people.

This is not intended to bash anyone, but it’s something for us to think about. Look at Christ (and He is the perfect example of someone who didn’t do bad things to people – though some might try to think differently). God allow Him to die because He would be glorified in the end. So in summary, why do bad things happen to good people? Because we live in an imperfect world (all the more reason to look to God for His mercy & grace).