If God really loved me, why was I abused as a child? How
many of you have heard people ask that question? I have a better question: have
you ever wondered that yourself? When I think about it, that question could be
modified to fit whatever you have been through (natural disaster, loss of a
child, loss of a parent, etc.). But for this post, I want to focus on childhood
abuse (physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse and verbal abuse). Is this
question a valid question? Hand down, yes it is. And it deserves an answer
(which will come during the course of this blogpost). Before diving into this
post, I do need to say one thing: if you have asked this question and came
through, just read and enjoy this post. If you have asked this question and
have turned away from God because of what you went through (or perhaps you have
some scars that are in need of healing), I dedicate this blogpost to you. Also,
if anybody has condemned you, or looked at you strange because you have asked
that question (you know, the “how dare you ask that”), you will not get that
out of me. Allow this blogpost to touch your heart and spirit.
Psalm 27:10 (from the Amplified Bible) says this: Although my father and my mother
have abandoned me, yet the Lord will take me up [adopt me as His child]. This
will be the foundational verse for this blogpost. If you have suffered any type
of abuse mentioned in the above paragraph, you’ve probably had these questions
in your mind:
Why didn’t those who said they
loved me protect me? Why does my family fight so hard to cover up the abuse
that I suffered? What did I do to deserve this abuse? Was it because I was born
that I deserve this? Was I not even wanted? Was I an afterthought?
I’ll
be honest; some of those questions were in my mind as I went through my teen
years.
Let’s
take this a step further: when you went through your abuse, did any of these become
part of your life (you don’t have to share, just think about it):
You became more of a social
butterfly
You became an introvert
You became promiscuous (sex
addict)
You found yourself attracted to
someone of the same sex
You decided to be asexual
You abstained because of the hurt
suffered (either by choice or you were mocked by the opposite/same sex that
forced you to abstain)
You found yourself running to
Christianity (or a different religion)
You
found yourself turned off from Christianity (or a different religion)
Again
I’ll be honest. Out of the items listed above, I became an introvert (part of
that was due to me having Asperger’s), abstained from sex – partly by choice
and partly because I was mocked during my school years and I found myself
running to religion (Christianity) for refuge.
So
let’s go back to the original question: If God really loved me, why was I
abused as a child? The question sounds complicated, doesn’t it? Is the answer
complicated? It depends. Because of the abuse you suffered, you might have some
physical and mental scars, along with holes in your heart and spirit. Now, I
mentioned Psalm 27:10 earlier and some of you might have grown up in a
religious home where there was abuse. Because the abuse occurred by someone in
your family, you are disgusted with religion and don’t want anything to do with
it. Do I understand? Absolutely. Is the abuse your fault (or was the abuse
merit)? Absolutely not!! Does God for this type of abuse? Again, absolutely
not!! This is where Psalm 27:10 really shines. Abuse is really abandonment and
rejected – and those that were supposed to protect you really forsook you. In
fact Matthew 18: 4-6 says this (and this is Jesus speaking to His disciples): therefore,
whoever humbles himself like this child is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever
receives and welcomes one child like this in My name receives Me; but
whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble and
sin [by leading him away from My teaching], it would be better for him to have
a heavy millstone [as large as one turned by a donkey] hung around his neck and
to be drowned in the depth of the sea.
Now,
why did God allow it to happen to you? This is an excellent question. We may
not know the reason why while we’re here on earth, and keep one thing in mind:
His ways are not our ways (in fact, they’re higher than ours). If we were to look at the book of Job
(especially the first 2 chapters), you’ll find that the devil wanted access to
Job’s life to do harm. God allowed the devil to do certain things (except kill
him). After the devil did his damage, God restored everything the devil
destroyed at the end of the book (the 42nd chapter to be exact). And
if you have suffered, be encouraged that He will restore you and make your
latter years greater than the former years. Note, the devil (in John 10:10)
desires to steal, kill and destroy. He hates us. We suffered, and we may have holes
as a result of what happened, but we can get healed and be restored. What’s key
is that we have to fight for our healing and do our part (God wants to restore
us). Don’t be afraid if you’re on the fence about it, go ahead and give Him a
chance. You have nothing to lose.
Blessings,
The
Mayne Man
P.S.
If you can spare 3 minutes, on the right hand side of my blog, you’ll see a
video (where I take the IAmMe Challenge); allow that song to bless your heart
and spirit. And yes, I wrote and sing the 2nd verse and the bridge.
