My testimony (42nd Birthday)

Good morning. As I celebrate my 42nd birthday today, I want to share a little of

my story and to ask that you help me give honor to where honor is due on this very special day to me. And the honor does not go to me. You'll see why as you read.

Wow, 42 years, it seems like time has flown since I was 22. Surprisingly, that would be the year when I accepted Christ as Lord. But let me say that my life has been anything but perfect. However, I am so blessed to be alive in the midst of the storms and rain, heartaches and pain. What I love about God is despite all that we've been through, He doesn't disqualify us or call us losers when we mess up, He's a God of forgiveness when we confess. The devil is doing everything to count us out. If I have to praise Him by myself, I will. Let me get to my story.

This morning as I was driving to work, I thought about a lot of things. Don't feel sorry for me as you read, but give God thanks for His mercy, love, and forgiveness.

Thirty years ago, there was abuse, rejection, abandonment, neglect, worry, anxiety issues, gaslighting, mental and emotional blocks that I faced and endured. It was during that time that I had an interest in who Jesus was. 

During my high school years, it was depression, anxiety, rejection, and a fight  for independence so I could live my dreams. During that time, I made a vow to God to remain abstinent until marriage.

During my military life, college life and everything else to this point, it was betrayal, anxiety attacks, depression, thoughts of suicide, false accusations, receiving phone threats, but I never lost faith in Him.

I've seen untimely deaths that have shaken my world a little:

The death of my aunt when she was only 37 - two months before graduating high school

The death of my grandmother in 2010

The death of my father in 2012 (4 months after releasing my first novel which was actually May 4, 2012 - DDBS)

And granted, I wanted to die at the end of 2011, but God is all I can say to that.

There are many things that have happened to me (or that I have done to others) that I didn't mentioned that would have sealed my death certificate (whether someone taking me out, or me ending my own life), again, I can only say but God. If you're reading this and I have hurt you in any capacity, I ask for your forgiveness. Please charge it to my head and not my heart. You are so special to me and I believe in healing and restoration. 

So allow me to cry tears of joy and of praise to God today. Don't worry, I'm still a man, a husband-in-training, so my manhood shouldn't be in question (smile). It's ok for me to be weak before Him, because it's in Him that we're strong. Think about it, how can I step into the overcoming ministry (and telling others how to overcome) if I haven't been through anything. Again, the honor isn't due to me, it's to the God who is a healer and a restorer of life.

You can read my bio on this page or watch the interview on the right side of this page to see what God has done in my life. :) And this is just the beginning, my latter will be greater (I know at least 2 people can lift their hands and declare that over their lives).

As Marvin Sapp says, so if you see me cry, it's just a sign that I'm still alive. I've got some scars but I'm still alive. In spite of calamity, He still has a plan for me. It's working for my good and it's building my testimony.

Somebody give Him praise. If you have been through and have a testimony, I celebrate you as well today. We overcome by the blood of the lamb and by the word of our testimony.

Blessings.

The Mayne Man

Why The MayneMan Took A Vow of Abstinence

Before I begin, I want to share a thought: If everyone can come out of the closet, why can't those who vowed abstinence come out of the closet? It's not a bad thing at all; in fact, it's a God thing! Come on somebody! Now let's talk about why the MayneMan took a vow of abstinence until he's married.

This past Monday morning, I had a dream about my vow to God (at the age of 18) of abstinence until marriage. In the dream, I must have been frustrated with remaining abstinence, and I decided to give up my vow. After it was all done, there was a guilty conscious hanging over my head. When I woke up from the dream, I was a bit startled, but at the same time, I was very thankful that it did not happen in real life. Just to let you all know I’ve been abstinent ever since November of 1986 to present day. So I’ve been abstinent for 29 years. I give all praise to God. But allow me to share with you the entire story behind my decision. I hope this will make you laugh, cry, smile and give praise to God as a result.

If you’re familiar with my story (whether it be me sharing with you all in person, via my novel Deaf, Dumb, Blind & Stupid, via my YouTube interviews, etc.), you’ll find that my life was/is not picture perfect. It’s my prayer that this encourages someone. At the age of 10, my uncle violated me and then a year later, a female relative violated me. All of the violations stop at the very end of October of 1986 (I was 12 at the time). As I look at the school year of 1986-1987 (I was in the 7th grade), I was a hot mess. I tried to get next to my girlfriend at that particular time (thank God that didn’t happen), and then I tried to ask one girl to have relations with me (knowing in my mind that my uncle had relations with her as well). Again, thank God that didn’t happen as well. Later in my 7th grade year, one girl in class came up behind me by the pencil sharpener to say that the reason why your collarbones stick out is because you have AIDS. Now I had heard of AIDS before then, but didn’t understand the meaning behind it. Later that night, I asked my father a simple question, “What’s AIDS?” Let’s just say that I got an earful that night. It was very insightful, but also frightening because my parents didn’t know the full story of the violations. 

If you read my novel DDBS, you may remember this scene:

August 15th, 1987:

Later today, I pulled out my condom from my wallet. I bought it, because my friends had one in their wallets. I decided to experiment with it, and then realized that I will never use it, considering no girl will ever date me because of my uncle, and that I’m too dumb to know how to put it on. And there is NO WAY I am asking for help. I think those contracepty things will be a problem in the future, because of all of those lubricants that are on them.

This is actually a real-life scene in my life (around that time in 1987). I still believe that God was doing something with me at that time in my life, even at the age of 13.

Now let’s fast forward to 1991, when I was 17. I had just come out of a year of depression, but I was working at the library as a summer job. As I was shelving books, I stumbled across a TEV Bible (Today’s English Version) – also known as the Good News Bible. I checked it out and started reading Proverbs. That book gave me a reason to live, and then I would buy a Bible for myself.

A couple weeks before graduating high school (I had turned 18 a few weeks back), I was in Munich Germany with my track team as we were there for the Central European Championship. I brought that checked out Bible with me, and one of brothers on the team had an NIV Student Bible. I was scanning through Proverbs out of his NIV Student Bible and I stumbled across a note within Proverbs talking about “Whom Should You Marry.” This note would forever change my life (it was written by Philip Yancey & Tim Stafford).

Whom Should You Marry? (A good partner can make or break your life)

Proverbs 21:9 – Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

Excerpt from the note: Not that Proverbs ignores the physical side of love. It urges marriage partners to rejoice in their love, to be captivated by it (5:18-19). It warns young people against sexual sin precisely because this wastes sexuality on unsatisfying, unloving relationships. Sex ought to be saved for the long-lasting, productive joy of marriage.

Proverbs on sexual sin: 2:16-19; 5:1-23; 6:20-35; 7:6-27; 23:26-28

Proverbs on marriage: 5:15-19; 12:4; 14:1; 18:22; 19:13-14; 21:9, 19; 27:15-16; 31:10-31.

It was that last sentence in the excerpt above where I made my vow to God to remain abstinent until marriage. Praise God that He’s allowed me to keep this vow to this day.

During of course of living, I have shared my story of abstinence with people, and I am always amazed at some of the responses I’ve received. Here are some that I received (mostly from women):

Don’t you feel you’re missing out?

I don’t know if I could do that!

Are you a homosexual?

My simple response is this: I’m not a homosexual, but at the same time, I know that I am not just dealing with this woman. I also have to know that she is created in the image of God and for me to defraud her, is really hurting God and my testimony before Him.

I pray that my story has encouraged you knowing that there are people out there who have taken a vow of abstinence despite the past (and for a man like me to take a vow at such a young age is probably unheard of). Anyhow, all glory goes to God.

Blessings,

The Mayne Man 

Our Declaration as Sexual Abuse Survivors

This was something that I shared on my personal FB page two years ago today (and only selected certain people to read it). I truthfully forgot that I had written this, but after having read it now, I believe that this needs to go global. With that, I’ll let you read this declaration and then I’ll share some closing comments.

(July 11, 2013)

Good evening everyone. If you see this post, that means you were selected to see this. Not everybody on FB will see this because of the gravity of this. I want you to be at peace when you read this. This was on my spirit all afternoon and I want to share something with you. I title this: "Our Declaration as Sexual Abuse Survivors." Here it goes.

Yes, we are adult survivors of Child Sexual Abuse. But you know, we're still alive. We are alive with a purpose and we have been commissioned to change the world with our voices/testimonies. We have survived the tests, the heartaches, the pain, the rejection, the neglect, the abandonment, the times when we wanted to give up on life. I don't know about you, but we have met for this purpose, to unite and save others from the miry clay of being "stuck." With that said, we who have made it out and are now on the healing side, have no right to point a finger at those who aren't where we are. Consider we used to be at that stuck period (and for some of us, we're getting closer). We as survivors need to come together, and stop declaring whose abuse and pain is worse than someone else's. All that matters is that we survived the pain and the tests, and now that test is a TESTimony. And believe me when I say this: someone who has a voice needs to hear OUR voice.

Think about it, we went through our pain (not because God didn't care about us or was punishing is) because we would be the ones that can make a serious impact within our realm of influence and the world. Can you understand the weight of that? There are many people who think they are experts of abuse who haven’t endured what we did, but as survivors, we can speak with authority and with boldness, unafraid to let others share the journey with us. Not so they can feel sorry for us, but to let them know that we have the ultimate victory. Considering many of our abusers (to include those who have neglected us and abandoned) didn't care if we died, the fact remains that we're still alive and there's a plan for our lives.

Now someone reading this might be wondering, when will I be compensated for the pain that I went through? My brother, my sister, your compensation will come as a result of you sharing your story of how you survived. Trust me, many of us never dreamed of where we would be right now. Many of us have bachelor degrees, masters and even doctorates. Some of us are writers, singers, poets, in short, we’re very creative. Can somebody get excited about this? As we share our lives with others, many people will understand they have a hope and can overcome whatever they may face. Don't fret when others don't understand or care about what you went through. Our lives are to touch those who need it. In a dying world who doesn't care about those who have suffered like we did, we have to be that voice crying in the wilderness (with love, compassion, and mercy). I can declare to you that your life (and what you've been through) is attached to somebody else. Somebody needs you and your story; don't ever doubt that!

I believe we can declare this as abuse survivors: We will go to those who have suffered, get down in the dirt with them (not to stay with them down there), pick them up and watch them blossom. We will never hurt each other as survivors with our words, for we need each other to survive. We have been ordained to this mission field because we can change the world!

(In Closing)
As I shared in a lesson I taught on Tuesday (Mental Illness and the Church’s Response), use discernment as to how much of your story you should share. If you want to hear this lesson, here’s the link:

http://fccdl.in/BicWmubK1

If you want to know more of what I do (and yes, this is a plug), on the right hand column of my blog you’ll find some videos (one is a song where I sing the second verse & bridge – dedicated to sexual abuse survivors; and the other video is an interview where I share my story). I have a novel about child sexual abuse, mental illness and suicide (you can read an excerpt right here):

http://maynetre.com/mm/books/deaf-dumb-blind-stupid-michael-andersons-fight-for-life/

And by all means, if you’re a survivor and this is your declaration, retweet this, share this, and spread the word! Let’s make an impact on the world.

Blessings.

The Mayne Man