Why The MayneMan Took A Vow of Abstinence

Before I begin, I want to share a thought: If everyone can come out of the closet, why can't those who vowed abstinence come out of the closet? It's not a bad thing at all; in fact, it's a God thing! Come on somebody! Now let's talk about why the MayneMan took a vow of abstinence until he's married.

This past Monday morning, I had a dream about my vow to God (at the age of 18) of abstinence until marriage. In the dream, I must have been frustrated with remaining abstinence, and I decided to give up my vow. After it was all done, there was a guilty conscious hanging over my head. When I woke up from the dream, I was a bit startled, but at the same time, I was very thankful that it did not happen in real life. Just to let you all know I’ve been abstinent ever since November of 1986 to present day. So I’ve been abstinent for 29 years. I give all praise to God. But allow me to share with you the entire story behind my decision. I hope this will make you laugh, cry, smile and give praise to God as a result.

If you’re familiar with my story (whether it be me sharing with you all in person, via my novel Deaf, Dumb, Blind & Stupid, via my YouTube interviews, etc.), you’ll find that my life was/is not picture perfect. It’s my prayer that this encourages someone. At the age of 10, my uncle violated me and then a year later, a female relative violated me. All of the violations stop at the very end of October of 1986 (I was 12 at the time). As I look at the school year of 1986-1987 (I was in the 7th grade), I was a hot mess. I tried to get next to my girlfriend at that particular time (thank God that didn’t happen), and then I tried to ask one girl to have relations with me (knowing in my mind that my uncle had relations with her as well). Again, thank God that didn’t happen as well. Later in my 7th grade year, one girl in class came up behind me by the pencil sharpener to say that the reason why your collarbones stick out is because you have AIDS. Now I had heard of AIDS before then, but didn’t understand the meaning behind it. Later that night, I asked my father a simple question, “What’s AIDS?” Let’s just say that I got an earful that night. It was very insightful, but also frightening because my parents didn’t know the full story of the violations. 

If you read my novel DDBS, you may remember this scene:

August 15th, 1987:

Later today, I pulled out my condom from my wallet. I bought it, because my friends had one in their wallets. I decided to experiment with it, and then realized that I will never use it, considering no girl will ever date me because of my uncle, and that I’m too dumb to know how to put it on. And there is NO WAY I am asking for help. I think those contracepty things will be a problem in the future, because of all of those lubricants that are on them.

This is actually a real-life scene in my life (around that time in 1987). I still believe that God was doing something with me at that time in my life, even at the age of 13.

Now let’s fast forward to 1991, when I was 17. I had just come out of a year of depression, but I was working at the library as a summer job. As I was shelving books, I stumbled across a TEV Bible (Today’s English Version) – also known as the Good News Bible. I checked it out and started reading Proverbs. That book gave me a reason to live, and then I would buy a Bible for myself.

A couple weeks before graduating high school (I had turned 18 a few weeks back), I was in Munich Germany with my track team as we were there for the Central European Championship. I brought that checked out Bible with me, and one of brothers on the team had an NIV Student Bible. I was scanning through Proverbs out of his NIV Student Bible and I stumbled across a note within Proverbs talking about “Whom Should You Marry.” This note would forever change my life (it was written by Philip Yancey & Tim Stafford).

Whom Should You Marry? (A good partner can make or break your life)

Proverbs 21:9 – Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

Excerpt from the note: Not that Proverbs ignores the physical side of love. It urges marriage partners to rejoice in their love, to be captivated by it (5:18-19). It warns young people against sexual sin precisely because this wastes sexuality on unsatisfying, unloving relationships. Sex ought to be saved for the long-lasting, productive joy of marriage.

Proverbs on sexual sin: 2:16-19; 5:1-23; 6:20-35; 7:6-27; 23:26-28

Proverbs on marriage: 5:15-19; 12:4; 14:1; 18:22; 19:13-14; 21:9, 19; 27:15-16; 31:10-31.

It was that last sentence in the excerpt above where I made my vow to God to remain abstinent until marriage. Praise God that He’s allowed me to keep this vow to this day.

During of course of living, I have shared my story of abstinence with people, and I am always amazed at some of the responses I’ve received. Here are some that I received (mostly from women):

Don’t you feel you’re missing out?

I don’t know if I could do that!

Are you a homosexual?

My simple response is this: I’m not a homosexual, but at the same time, I know that I am not just dealing with this woman. I also have to know that she is created in the image of God and for me to defraud her, is really hurting God and my testimony before Him.

I pray that my story has encouraged you knowing that there are people out there who have taken a vow of abstinence despite the past (and for a man like me to take a vow at such a young age is probably unheard of). Anyhow, all glory goes to God.

Blessings,

The Mayne Man 

Why The Judicial System/Government Is Failing Abused Children (Part 4)

This is Part 4.

It was pressed on my spirit (New Year's Day) to do a post on this topic. This is dear to my heart and it's my prayer after you read this, you will be moved to action. I now share my thoughts (intermingled with a fellow advocate or two) as to why the judicial system/government is failing abused children.

Article 1:
http://www.okcfox.com/story/24336336/police-woman-concerned-son-was-assaulted-kidnaps-man-and-slices-genitals

Article 2 (this one focuses on suicide – which the rate for children is increasing):

http://freepatriot.org/2013/12/31/5-year-old-girls-hangs-california-possible-foul-play/

Article 3:

http://freepatriot.org/2013/12/31/disgusting-mother-accused-sexually-abusing-children-agesa-8-33/

Article 4:

http://www.cnn.com/2013/10/25/world/americas/colombia-mom-sells-daughters/

When I think about the articles above, only one can shake their head. Not only do I shake my head, but I also cry for the children who are neglected, abandoned and left for dead (whether physically, mentally or spiritually). As I am an abuse survivor, I believe there should be justice as well as mercy. I’ll explain as I go.

The first article about the mother cutting off her abuser’s genitals, I understand her frustration (not justifying her actions), but at the same time, she needed to know if what she believed was really true. It’s sad that the justice system is more than willing to punish anyone who takes the law into their hands, but at the same time, they will turn around and let the abuser to run rampant. It’s not all the justice system’s fault, a lot of the blame resides in the family structure.

The second article sends chills down my back. To see children so young die for whatever reason is an adult’s worst nightmare. What makes this story so chilling is this: the mother and aunt were home when the girls hung themselves. I mention my thoughts on that in the final paragraph.

The third article should make everybody cringe. A mother (as you see in the photo cheesing away) sexually abuses her children. We spend so much time focusing on the abuser and not caring for those who can’t defend themselves. And here’s the sad part of this article: she’s being held on 2 million dollars bond on the charges of sexual abuse of a child under 12 years old and child neglect. No offense: if it had been someone of color, the abuser would be immediately in jail on a life sentence (or even worse, if an abused child tries to protect him/herself, they would end up in jail and the abuser gets a slap on the wrist). And we wonder why we are in the shape we’re in.

The fourth article takes place in a different country, but it actually angers me to the core. Now this is really destroy something beautiful that God created, virginity and purity! For a mother to have children and sell them to sexual predators is a heinous crime. The infamous question I have to ask is this: are the children being prayed for, in counseling? Their innocence was robbed! As for the mother, who was being extremely selfish and devilish to rob these girls of their virginity for money, she needs mercy (because I have a gut feeling she was molested) and justice for she knew of the crime she did! Rhonda Walker (author of Healing The Rage Within says this): This is sad and I feel for the young girls. What goes through a mothers head to make the decision to prostitute her daughters? I mean her daughters are in her image...why does she hate herself so much and why does she hate her daughters? We know hurt people hurt people so I wonder if this was done to her. I wonder if this is her norm? I Hope and pray her daughters get the help they need and for the ones missing, I pray they are safe.

It’s like the judicial system/government want these children to die. In fact, the government should go on and say, since we don’t like what God has ordained (the family structure), let’s break down the family by first and foremost strip the child from the family and then we will do as we did in the Bible days, kill children at will. Pharaoh wanted Hebrew boys under 2 to be killed and Herod wanted babies under 2 to be killed.

I ask this question in my fictional memoir Deaf, Dumb, Blind & Stupid: “And WHY, isn’t anything done to the parent or the abuser? How do we rectify this problem? Parents, you are to love and protect your children. Once you become a parent, it is no longer about what is convenient for YOU... you are now charged with caring for the life of your child until that child is able to care for him or herself. And one never stops being a parent, even until old age. So, what do we do? Say to the abused, “the Lord says to forgive and get over it?” That’s not an easy fix for someone who has suffered under the hands of the enemy who’s trying to kill them. To add insult to injury, no charges are brought up against the abusers who are in some cases even protected by other adults – and cursed is the victim. I’m not saying the victim should go on living life constantly as the victim, but in the midst of the abuse, why curse the victim?”

Why The Judicial System/Government Is Failing Abused Children (Part 3)

This is Part 3.

It was pressed on my spirit (New Year's Day) to do a post on this topic. This is dear to my heart and it's my prayer after you read this, you will be moved to action. In the final part, I will share my thoughts as to why the judicial system is failing. I will come back to the three articles mentioned in Parts 1 & 2, but I want to bring up a different article because this is outside the U.S., but it still needs our attention. Underneath the link (please read this), my fellow advocate Jean Marie is going to share her thoughts about this article.

http://www.cnn.com/2013/10/25/world/americas/colombia-mom-sells-daughters/

To me the most haunting part of this article is this.  "Police investigators say Zapata also forced her older daughters to drink alcohol and do drugs. Some ended up working as prostitutes and are missing, police said."

With January being Human Trafficking Prevention Month I think it is important to face the erie presence of Human Trafficking.  Human trafficking rings are so skilled that once a person disappears into the ring you only have a few days to find the trail, after that the trail goes cold.  This is like a ghost in the night, stealing our children.  Once they are gone they are gone, lost in an erie underworld where they could have been murdered early on, or they could live a lifetime lost in the underworld of perpetual sexual slavery.  

Another haunting part of this story is this "When Zapata was standing in front of the cameras Wednesday, one of the reporters shouted a question to her: "Did you prostitute your daughters?" She answered: "No, my darling."  When you watch the video Zapata first takes on the visual expression of being a victim herself.  Take away the news and the police, if you saw her crying like this, acting the victim, would you believe her, would you comfort her?   We have a natural tendency to want to comfort those who are crying.  Like most perpetrators she has learned to use emotions as a manipulation.  Then when questioned about her heinous acts she takes on the visual expression of a comforting mother.  In her best motherly voice she says to a complete stranger "No, my darling."  Take away the cameras and police once again, and watch this perpetrator feign motherly love towards her children.  Would we believe the emotional mask, as she once again uses emotion as a manipulation?

I applaud the young lady that finally was strong enough to stand up to this mother-monster.  She then had to run for her life and hide.  If the other victims believed there was a safe way out, there was a trustworthy person to report to, then they might not be missing today.

 

Jean Marie

Find out all about me!

http://about.me/jeanmarie360