Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Saturday, April 9, 2016

Rejected & Offended

Last weekend, I was listening to a lesson entitled Overcoming Offenses, and it really made me think about some things, one being how we don’t confront those who actually offend us. But then there are times that people are offended when you actually don’t do anything wrong (a great example is that you have changed the course for your life and others don’t agree with it – as a result, they reject you and they’re offended because you decided to do something different with your life). Now I’d like to use the story of Jesus when He was in his hometown – this is after He grew up and was baptized into His ministry. So let’s just look at Mark 6:1-3 (and then we’ll talk a little bit more after):

Then He went out from there and came to His own country, and His disciples followed Him. And when the Sabbath had come, He began to teach in the synagogue. And many hearing Him were astonished, saying, “Where did this Man get these things? And what wisdom is this which is given to Him, that such mighty works are performed by His hands! Is this not the carpenter, the Son of Mary, and brother of James, Joses, Judas, and Simon? And are not His sisters here with us?” So they were offended at Him.

How many of you have ever experienced this (where people reject you and become offended because you’ve changed – or you’re not like you used to be when you were little)? I’ll use a little bit of my life. When I decided to follow Christ, my family was like, “you used to do this when you were little.” I laugh when I think about it because you have probably heard the phrase, “you never grow up to your parents.” Friends are no different (now this isn’t my life), they would say something, “you’re a sellout, I remember when you used to run around chasing after every girl, and you had a girl on your arms every time I see you. You used to smoke and drink on the corner, but you call yourself changed your ways.”

Now watch this, as we look at verses 4-6.

But Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his own country, among his own relatives, and in his own house.” Now He could do no mighty work there, except that He laid His hands on a few sick people and healed them. And He marveled because of their unbelief. Then He went about the villages in a circuit, teaching.

What caused the people’s rejection of Jesus and them being offended at Him was because of first their unbelief. And second, they were plagued with that familiar spirit. A familiar spirit is when you’ve been around a person so long, the moment they changed, you don’t like it, and as a result, you reject that person (and are offended because they changed). It’s been said, if you become too familiar with someone, there’s a strong change that you’ll abuse him or her.

If you have ever been rejected and offended because you’ve changed and have decided to make a difference in this world (and going with Christ), don’t let people box you in to other people’s circle. Let them stay offended at you, and let them reject you. God has so much that He wants to do with you (and like Jesus, you may have to leave your hometown because they won’t believe it). Granted, those are the people that would say something like this “I’ll believe it when I see it.” Or they’ll say “he’ll be back to his old ways (or she’ll be back to her old ways), just watch. I’ll entice them back to their old ways.” My advice to that, get as far away from them as you can.

I pray this encourages you if this applies to you.

Blessings.

The Mayne Man


Saturday, March 7, 2015

Why A Child Needs Love (And Discipline)

Well, first and foremost, let me say Happy New Year. I know it’s been almost 4 months since I’ve written a blog (and this is my first blog in 2015). I was listening to a program and it was talking about “correcting a child.” I know there are many views about what it means to correct a child, but during the course of the program, it was saying that correction has many definitions: spanking, instructing, guidance, and a few others. I can’t speak for others, but I’m going to put my personal life (and part of my family) on Front Street for this blogpost, but there is a message here.

Many times, when I talk about family, I end up talking about abuse. I will not be discussing abuse in this blog as it relates to discipline. There is a big difference between discipline and abuse. I just want to focus on the discipline aspect and why a child needs love AND discipline.

I know my parents love me (I know, that sounds like the theme to “A Different World” – my favorite TV show by the way), but they were good at disciplining me when I needed it. Do I hate my parents for it? No! They nurtured my love for music and reading. When I was 4, I would be singing with my father, and when I would be in my bedroom, I would be listening to book & tapes. One of them was Noah and the Ark (and I believed that would shape my faith in God as a result, which I’m very thankful for). In my immediate family, I’m the oldest child. Now, I can’t speak for other members in my immediate or extended family, but I know for two of my extended family members, one was never really disciplined and the other was disciplined to the point it became abuse. I know this affected their way of coping with life in many ways (and it would not turn out positive). One thing I can truly say, there were probably some things that I was disciplined for that was a bit excessive, but the point is I was disciplined. And I can pretty much name everything I was disciplined for:
1.     A poor progress report (kindergarten – that one haunts me till today: not so much the spanking, but having to hear the tape constantly of my behavior in class)
2.     Calling out a great deal in school (2nd grade)
3.     Now this is embarrassing: drinking toilet water (going into 3rd grade). Now this one I deserved – even though I didn’t know what I was doing was wrong.
4.     Shoplifting (8th grade – this was instilled me in my the one extended family member mentioned above who was never disciplined).
5.     Of course, we have the lies and small things (most brought on by the undisciplined family member).

I didn’t bring all of that up to glorify the wrongs I did or to call my family out; but I wanted to say that I did receive love and discipline as a child, and it made me the man I am today. If I didn’t get the discipline, I would be a hot mess as an adult.

Oh, I will mention this since I’m an advocate for abuse survivors: both of the family members mentioned above were involved in my abuse. Now that I’m older, I’m able to understand and to pray for them (as well as forgive them).


So, this blogpost is important to me because if a child is not given love and discipline, we’re going to have adults who feel they’re entitled and just downright spoiled brats!