Stopping The ESP Curse (A Message to the AA Community)

Before this blog begins, let me define ESP as it relates to this blog: it stands for the Economic, Spiritual & Physical Curse. Let’s think about that for a minute:

Economic Curse – every time a tragedy hits our community, we turn on ourselves (this will be the focus of this blog)

Spiritual Curse – in the African-American church, we have a huge tendency to put our pastor, church, and denomination over the Bible

Physical Curse – no disrespect to those outside our race, we focus more on that than we do on the nonsense killings within our own race. I can’t help but think back to when I was about to turn 15 years old (the year was 1989). One HS student (that I knew) strangled another student (that I also knew) for his Jordan’s. 

I invited my sister & fellow author Angelia Menchan to assist me with this blogpost. Her comments are going to be in italics. What we are going to show is a generational trend when it comes to turning on ourselves via destroying our communities and why it's vital to stop this generational curse (or should I say genocide) economically, spiritually and physically.

Back in 1991, Rodney King was brutally beaten by the police and after the jury issued a not guilty verdict on the police officers, Los Angeles was destroyed via the riots. I was a senior year in High School when this went down, and I understood the anger then and it made sense to me at the time. Now that I’m much older and realized after what happened with the Ferguson incident last year, I started to ask this a couple of pivotal question to myself:

1.     Why is it that other races kill someone within our race, and then we turn on each other and destroy our communities?

2.     Why is it that we advocate so heavily to support our own businesses, but then we turn around and don’t support our own business – wanting something for nothing (or even worse, loot our own business)?

In 1992, the final season of A Different World aired. I remember the second part of the first episode and I want to draw out some quotes that I want to share with you all. Here’s the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBIyR5fDdtw

At 11:23

Lena (played by Jada Pinkett): I cannot believe you Dwayne. Seriously though, I I was there, if that were me, I would’ve gone off!

Dwayne (played by Kadeem Hardison): Lena, seriously though, seriously though, we have a billion dollars of damage because brothers were ripping off their own neighborhoods. Think for a minute.

And then at 17:15:

Mr. Gaines (played by the late Lou Myers): You know it’s a shame that the rebellion had to go this far. But at least folks are now listening, white and black.

Colonel Taylor (played by Glynn Turman): That’s what we thought after Watts. Remember Mr. Gaines?

Mr. Gaines: Yeah.

Colonel Taylor: We’ll see what effect this has. A lot depends on what we do when we leave this room. We’ve got to work together, so that your children won’t feel that in the next 20 years their only solution is to burn their own communities down.

I guess history repeats itself because we went through this in Ferguson in 2014. But this “burning our communities” apparently isn’t new.  Since Watts was brought up via the video clip, let’s talk about it.

Watts a neighborhood in Los Angeles is on 2.12 miles but it's predominately African American and has the largest demographic of household led by single parents in the country, likely the world.

From August 11-17 1965 Watts was on fire. I was in elementary school and I remember my mom and aunts talking about it and saying, "Those Negroes have gone plumb mad." Perhaps that sounds like blaming the victim in 21st century America but not to those women born from 1912-1933. There were thirty-four deaths, over a thousand injuries, three times as many arrests and forty million in damages. And what was proven?

To the world at large it seemed to say, "Make them mad and they will ruin their own neighborhoods and loot their communities."

Righteous anger many said. However, I'm going to say Watts has never completely recovered from that legacy and is still an impoverished community with generations still struggling from some of the choices made.

Were the residents justifiably angry? Absolutely. Racism was rife and LAPD corruption in full forced. However, some fifty years later the community is still fighting against the same thing.

On the evening of Wednesday, August 11, 1965, 21-year-old Marquette Frye, an African American man behind the wheel of his mother's 1955 Buick, was pulled over for reckless driving by white California Highway Patrol motorcycle officer Lee Minikus. After administering a field sobriety test, Minikus placed Frye under arrest and radioed for his vehicle to be impounded.

Marquette's brother Ronald, a passenger in the vehicle, walked to their house nearby, bringing their mother, Rena Price, back with him.

When Rena Price reached the intersection of Avalon Boulevard and 116th Street that evening, she scolded Frye about drinking and driving, he recalled in a 1985 interview with the Orlando Sentinel. The situation quickly escalated: Someone shoved Price, Frye was struck, Price jumped an officer, and another officer pulled out a shotgun. Backup police officers attempted to arrest Frye by using physical force to subdue him. After rumors spread that the police had roughed Frye up and kicked a pregnant woman, angry mobs formed. As the situation intensified, growing crowds of local residents watching the exchange began yelling and throwing objects at the police officers. Frye's mother and brother fought with the officers and they were eventually arrested along with Marquette Frye.

After the arrests of Price and the Frye brothers, the crowd continued to grow. Police came to the scene to break up the crowd several times that night but were attacked by rocks and concrete. A 119-square-kilometer (46-square-mile) swath of Los Angeles would be transformed into a combat zone during the ensuing six days.

For seven days rioting and looting ensued and the National Guard was called in adding to the tensions. Members of militant groups were on site adding fuel to a flaming city. And just as today in cities like Ferguson, MO and other places the community was vilified and Los Angeles police chief Parker publicly described the people he saw involved in the riots as acting like "monkeys in the zoo."

Of course after all was said and done politicians and that ilk showed up making promises of reform if only they were voted in.

As this area was known to be under much racial and social tension, debates have surfaced over what really happened in Watts. Reactions and reasoning about the Watts incident greatly vary because those affected by and participating in the chaos that followed the original arrest had varying perspectives. A commission under Governor Pat Brown investigated the riots. The McCone Commission, headed by former CIA director John A. McCone, released a 101-page report on December 2, 1965 entitled Violence in the City—An End or a Beginning?: A Report by the Governor's Commission on the Los Angeles Riots, 1965.

The report identified the root causes of the riots to be high unemployment, poor schools, and other inferior living conditions for African Americans in Watts. Recommendations for addressing these problems included "emergency literacy and preschool programs, improved police-community ties, increased low-income housing, more job-training projects, upgraded health-care services, more efficient public transportation, and many more." Most of these recommendations were not acted upon and decades later the struggle continued played out again in the 1992 riots after the Rodney King verdict. By this time I was a woman with children and could hear my ancestors voices as I watched the riots, wondering what had we learned if anything and we were still dealing with systemic injustice, racism and disenfranchisement with our emotions and reaction and I knew without any doubt how it would all play out, again. Our communities are plagued by generational curses and those of us who survived have a responsibility to assist in the healing.

We are going to have to teach wholeness, acceptance of responsibility, planning and preparing and not reacting.

¥¥¥¥¥

OK, let’s wind this down.

Johnathan Gentry (a minister at West Angeles COGIC) made a few comments last Friday (March 6^th, 2015) on a news broadcast that I felt was appropriate for this blog. I’m going to paraphrase a lot of what he said.

1.     Many of these African-American leaders are promoting poverty mindsets and victimhood. They’re also telling our race that we’re going to be nothing except a statistic

2.     The reason why they’re brining that message is because many of us can’t think for ourselves.

3.     These leaders want us to be oppressed. But black men need to stop looking back to victimhood.

4.     The truth of Jesus Christ is needed for broken families. God is a God of new beginnings.

5.     The prison system is not for anyone, and don’t stand in front of police departments telling them to clean up our neighborhoods when it’s the crack and whorehouse on our blocks that are destroying our minds and poisoning our children’s future.

6.     These leaders will be accountable for the messages they’re sending the American people. So tell people the truth, even if you shake!

7.     Countries and families are giving up and many broken families are going to church only to hear preachers lying to them.

8.     Not every police department is racist, and not everybody is against African-Africans, but we as a race have to be responsible for what we do out in the streets. If you commit a crime, expect to pay the cost!

9.     It’s always those who commit crimes, who cry out and say the Police Department is wrong, that should not be happening!

I posted this on social media on March 10^th, 2015:

1.     To be an effective leader, you can’t play the victim or live your life like a victim.

2.     To be an effective leader, you must tell the truth. There are many in positions of authority that dish lies because there are guppies listening with itching ears or they're listening to find a reason to remain a victim.

We have to know who we are for ourselves in order to show who we are to others. Not everybody will appreciate us, but at least we have an identity that’s built on faith, achievement and endurance.  Think about it, Christ was with the Father before His public ministry. So one can only believe that Christ knew who He was before He was known to the world.

Why A Child Needs Love (And Discipline)

Well, first and foremost, let me say Happy New Year. I know it’s been almost 4 months since I’ve written a blog (and this is my first blog in 2015). I was listening to a program and it was talking about “correcting a child.” I know there are many views about what it means to correct a child, but during the course of the program, it was saying that correction has many definitions: spanking, instructing, guidance, and a few others. I can’t speak for others, but I’m going to put my personal life (and part of my family) on Front Street for this blogpost, but there is a message here.

Many times, when I talk about family, I end up talking about abuse. I will not be discussing abuse in this blog as it relates to discipline. There is a big difference between discipline and abuse. I just want to focus on the discipline aspect and why a child needs love AND discipline.

I know my parents love me (I know, that sounds like the theme to “A Different World” – my favorite TV show by the way), but they were good at disciplining me when I needed it. Do I hate my parents for it? No! They nurtured my love for music and reading. When I was 4, I would be singing with my father, and when I would be in my bedroom, I would be listening to book & tapes. One of them was Noah and the Ark (and I believed that would shape my faith in God as a result, which I’m very thankful for). In my immediate family, I’m the oldest child. Now, I can’t speak for other members in my immediate or extended family, but I know for two of my extended family members, one was never really disciplined and the other was disciplined to the point it became abuse. I know this affected their way of coping with life in many ways (and it would not turn out positive). One thing I can truly say, there were probably some things that I was disciplined for that was a bit excessive, but the point is I was disciplined. And I can pretty much name everything I was disciplined for:

1.     A poor progress report (kindergarten – that one haunts me till today: not so much the spanking, but having to hear the tape constantly of my behavior in class)

2.     Calling out a great deal in school (2^nd grade)

3.     Now this is embarrassing: drinking toilet water (going into 3^rd grade). Now this one I deserved – even though I didn’t know what I was doing was wrong.

4.     Shoplifting (8^th grade – this was instilled me in my the one extended family member mentioned above who was never disciplined).

5.     Of course, we have the lies and small things (most brought on by the undisciplined family member).

I didn’t bring all of that up to glorify the wrongs I did or to call my family out; but I wanted to say that I did receive love and discipline as a child, and it made me the man I am today. If I didn’t get the discipline, I would be a hot mess as an adult.

Oh, I will mention this since I’m an advocate for abuse survivors: both of the family members mentioned above were involved in my abuse. Now that I’m older, I’m able to understand and to pray for them (as well as forgive them).

So, this blogpost is important to me because if a child is not given love and discipline, we’re going to have adults who feel they’re entitled and just downright spoiled brats!

Are We Hiding In The Church?

Last Sunday, God was dealing with me about people in congregations hiding inside the church so they can avoid persecution from the world. Truthfully, it's a slap in the face to Christian missionaries who are ministering outside our country and are dying by the dozens for their faith in Christ. And even worse, church leaders are advocating congregations to hide in the church or don't stray too far from the church. The underlying message is that we need you to witness to fund the local church. And if the church is under budget, it means that the congregation is not witnessing to bring bodies in to balance the budget.

Jesus said in Mathew 28:19-20: 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."

Notice what Jesus did not say. He did not say to make church members of all nations, baptizing them in the name of your local church. He said, you are the salt of the earth, not the salt of the church. Now I'm not saying that everyone needs to leave their church and that there is no need for a local church. We need that and we need to fund local churches. The focus is on priorities - His mission and not funding the church due to a deficit. Sometimes we read passages in the New Testament as a way to get people to do missions for the benefit of the local church focusing on church membership and not on a person's salvation. 

The question I pose is how are we going to reach the world if we're hiding in our church? And how are we preaching the gospel if the emphasis is on church growth? It's sad when Christians are coming from places where they are being persecuted and ministering Christ to us in our own country. 

The reason so many are hiding in the church is because their respective social clique is there; they want their special seat in the church; it's comfortable and their family's salvation is secure; they can continually be spiritually fed and not have to share the Good News to others. And for the record, if you are witnessing to someone and the focus is inviting to church without being concerned about their salvation (of if salvation is hinged on them attending your particular church), you are technically hiding in your church. 

For many of us in our respective churches, He is calling us out into the world to reach them. You have gifts that need to touch the world. You can't do that hiding in your church (yes, God is calling some of you to use your gifts specifically for your respective church, and praise God for that). But for everyone to keep hiding in the church is a sad indictment on those dying for their faith. 

When the disciples were filled with the Holy Spirit in Acts 2, they stayed in Jerusalem afterwards. It took Stephen's death for them to get out and scatter (as Christ told them to before He went back to heaven). Sadly, God has to allow things to happen to get our attention; I pray this would encourage us to be proactive. The world is more in need of us than ever before.

Blessings:

The Mayne Man

Did Brittany Maynard Have To Die? (Are Suicide Victims Selfish)?

Around mid-October 2014, I stumbled across this article. 

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/brittany-maynard-dying-with-dignity-before-cancer-takes-her-life/

Contrary to what she felt or believed, it was still suicide in my eyes and in the eyes of others. The questions running through my mind were, "why isn't somebody encouraging her to live? Who's speaking life into her? Who is helping her with her depression? Who's praying for her, her husband and her family? Why is the media and society applauding this?"

Of course, over this past weekend, this article emerged stating that she ended her life.

http://www.religionnews.com/2014/11/02/brittany-maynard-face-right-die-movement-died-planned/

This was a suicide that could have been prevented in my opinion.

This topic was heavy on my spirit this morning, and I pose a twofold question: Did Brittany Maynard have to die? Are suicide victims (to include those who contemplate and attempt) selfish? To the first question, she did not have to die that way. To the second question, I say not totally - and that's what this blogpost will center on.

A few disclaimers:

1. If you are reading this and have thought about suicide, please read this (providing this doesn't trigger you)

2. If you are thinking about suicide now, please call 911 or the Suicide Prevention Hotline

3. If you were called selfish or people chastised you because you talked about ending your life, you're not alone, read this and if you are indeed suicidal, see #2.

4. I will be ranting in a few places within this blog, but I will warn you before my rant begins.

Ok. Are suicide victims selfish? Many are going to shout YES off the top of their lungs. I disagree to a point. I believe suicide victims had help! Yes, I said it. If you do or don't follow the Bible, bear with me as I share an example. In Numbers 20, we always harp on Moses and his disobedience therefore disqualifying himself from the promised land. I believe Moses had help. The children of Israel were to wander in the wilderness back in the 14th chapter of the same book and they weren't going to the promised land. Because they weren't going and they were disobedient, they got under Moses' skin (in my opinion). And he did an act that he wasn't supposed to do. 

This example is no different to a suicide victim. Now I need to harp on the faith community in a spirit of love. 

When you tell someone to speak the word when they are suicidal and not listen to them, stopping what you're doing to pray, you are in essence telling them that I'm not going to bear your burden and disobey the very Word I'm telling you to speak. The Word tells us to bear another's burdens, love your neighbor as yourself, place other's interests above your own.

I can't stress this enough. How we treat people who are struggling with the will to live, or are currently experiencing a traumatic situation (such as a breakup, a divorce - I'll speak on that in a moment, a death in the family), will determine if they will either attempt, go through with ending their life or not doing either of those two. 

#MayneMan Rant: I don't care where you are in your life. If you know someone struggling, a condescending attitude is an easy way for someone to do something rash. You pointing your bony little finger telling them their stupid, will make them feel less than a human and will more & likely end their life. (I will address how we treat each other in the faith world in just a moment - I can't do a blog without addressing that). Accusing them of being in sin, saying their feelings and the actions that caused their predicament is ALL their fault will push a person into fritter isolation (whether they are strong in faith or not). 

When it comes to "Women & Suicide," this touches my heart to the core. No woman should ever have to carry a burden that heavy (or any burden period).  To tells woman that she has no out in a marriage is going contrary to the Bible. Jesus gave two outs (fornication or adultery). Why do we have the mitigated gall to tell her that's no excuse for divorce (when she has that option). <- sorry for not giving a warning for that rant. 

#MayneMan Rant (For Real): continuing from the last paragraph, so many people are burdening women with that God Hates Divorce when she's being abused physically, mentally & spiritually. I don't buy that! In fact, to burden a woman like that will either cause her to murder her spouse or commit suicide. 

I can't leave my fellow men out of this. When we are experiencing a breakup (marriage or friendship) and emotions were involved (or something else that's traumatic), we need a hug and just like women, we also need an ear. If we don't get it (but instead, have to hear MAN UP), don't be surprised if we close our world and do something rash. 

What troubles me is that we don't consider the other person interpersonal relationships. In many, we have a me, myself & I mentality. When we are going through, we want the world to stop for us, when others are going through, we'll give a two-second prayer (if that), talk down to them or praise God that it's not your problem. What makes this worse is we don't consider a person's heart when we relate to people. Every person is uniquely different, worthy of love & respect and may be fragile (in heart, in mind or in spirit). Suicides occur when people are feeling rejected (among teens and adults, relationship/friendship breakups are worse, especially when one is being used and kicked to the curb).

Another thing that troubles me is we take offense if someone is not having a good day. If you don't have a Joel Osteen smile, then you don't want to be bothered. If one of your children was having a bad day, you would cradle them in your arms. Why can't we do that for our brother, our sister? Jesus cradles everyone in His arms when we are hurting. We should not have to lie to people when they ask how are you!!!

The faith world can be worse. The church is supposed to be for the sick. Jesus came for the sick. Why can't we be a place of refuge for a hurting soul? Yes, we all come to church with our respective issues, but we need to be admonishing each other to greatness and not bring on further affliction to others. This is probably why folks outside don't want a part of church. Our attitudes towards real issues stink. They're hush, hush, or we tell them to deal with the pain themselves. We're real quick to give advice, but SO slow to listen. We'll condemn others who are going through, but we'll call those who we're condemning when we're going through. To the faith world, I don't want this to appear like I'm bashing you. We are all in this together. If we can stand in unity for blessings, we can stand in unity for the things that Jesus cares about. He cares about people, unity to show the world that we are one in mind, faith & spirit. 

What suicide victims don't need is added help. Most (if not all) are burden with some level of pain. Their means of coping may be different. One of the easiest ways to help is to listen to them - let them vent. After you listen, you can pray (please do it showing that you care and that Jesus cares). The minute you criticize, talk down to them, not consider their feelings, blame them for their situation or for feeling that way, you are setting the scene up for a victim to isolate, not say a word, put on a plastic smile, and then take their lives. Most victims who take their lives don't advertise it. If you have to invade their space, do it with love, offer an ear. Yes, those who commit suicide make the ultimate decision, but to say they're selfish does not help anybody. Those who lost that loved one will grieve (if they have a heart) and those that died were grieving before they took their last breath.

Suicide victims need a hug and an ear like everyone else. They don't want to die, they really want to live. When pushed to the limit, they will feel unloved. 

One final world on selfishness: you see, we innately are selfish, but to project your selfishness onto others is having their blood on your hands. Sadly, our personal selfishness is causing the death of many people (whether physical, mental, financial or spiritual).

I pray that we show more love in a world that's waxing cold and not caring about the beauty of life.

Blessings:

The Mayne Man

BBB (Broken, Beaten & Battered) - a poem

Today, this was dropped on my spirit. I've been in Psalms for almost 2 weeks and I call this my Psalm to God. Although this has been my life these past 2 weeks, it also sums up my life. I ask that you rejoice with me as to the goodness of God and how God has kept me. He has given me beauty for ashes and He can give you that also. 

BBB (Broken, Beaten & Battered)

Written 10/31/14 10:42am

I come to the Father broken, beaten & battered. He wants all of my pain. 

I lay this broken body down as if it were dead, so it's Jesus I gain.

Loved ones have abandoned me, but You Lord have loved me still. I surrender my life to you in all areas, and I now surrender to Your will.

I spent so many years living for me, and it has brought me nothing but sorrow. So I seek You and Your righteousness and will strive not to worry about tomorrow.

So many are living for self striving for attention, turn our hearts back to You. We will keep hurting each other if we keep doing what we do.

This 28 years of abstinence is not for me, but for Your glory. Some will mock as this testimony, but You have given me this story.

The good that I do for others is nothing but a filthy rag in your eyes. So why should I boast in them, Your dying for me is where my faith lies.

If I have to live this life alone, broken, beaten & battered; I count it all joy though my life feels like glass that's shattered.

All the pieces on the floor as no one cares to clean me up. But You are the only one to pick me up and overfill my cup.

I have loved and lost, and I have hurt those I care about. I pray they forgive me and I thank You Lord for not judging me and taking me out.

If you were brave enough to read this, come to Jesus this minute, this hour. He wants your broken, beaten & battered heart & spirit, so He can make your life beautiful as a flower.