Your Day Of Freedom (To My Fellow Abuse Survivors)

This was not a planned post, so I am going to let His Spirit lead me as I type this. I don't know where you are on your road to recovery from child sexual abuse, but I pray this encourages you today. Do you feel that have suffered too long and you desire that your pain is gone? Please, don't give up on your life or on God. Just like you would give a relationship another chance, I ask that you give God another chance. Let me use a passage to illustrate how we as survivors can celebrate our day of freedom as the chains if bondage fall. 

In Acts 16, starting with verse 23 we see this happening to Paul & Silas: And when they had inflicted many blows upon them, they threw them into prison, ordering the jailer to keep them safely. Having received this order, he put them into the inner prison and fastened their feet in the stocks.

Ok the backdrop was that Paul & Silas were on a missionary journey and they spoke against the spirit of divination. As a result, they were placed in chains. What is the message? They weren't arrested and silent for doing wrong. They were innocent (because they were seeking to do good) and were silenced, bound in chains. Many of us were robbed of our innocence and we were told to be silent or else we would lose our lives. I can tell you that I was threatened through the means of fear. So I was in chains mentally! 

But wait, there's more to this story. And if you remember a post I did near the end of October 2013 called My Voice (As A Survivor) Is My Weapon, you'll see right now why it's a weapon if it's used the right way.

Verse 25 & 26 in Acts 16, About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them, and suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken. And immediately all the doors were opened, and everyone's bonds were unfastened.

So what is the message here? Pray for justice and mercy. But sing praises for His Goodness. Let me say this: No, you did not deserve the abuse, it was not your fault. What am I talking about here? Your scars and pain (coupled with that the fact that you're still alive) is a testimony that you are here with a purpose to share your story and help remove the chains of someone else. Praise God that His true justice will come in due time and praise Him for your life. If you look at the interview I did to the right of this blog, you'll see what I'm talking about. 

Also note, this was at midnight, in the darkest part of the day. For many of us, we have had our dark days. I'll put this out there: two years ago today, I didn't want to live, but I constantly prayed and didn't give up on His plan for us. Understand the mere fact that because we went through and we're alive, not only are we strong, but we're over comers. Many people wanted us dead (our abusers, those who neglected us, etc.), but you should be able to rejoice in the fact you're still alive. Notice the chains came off when they rejoiced and praised. You have a purpose in this life. Don't feel that God has abandoned you. Because I went through it, I can boldly type this post. 

As Jesus Culture said in one of their songs, there is power in the name of Jesus to break every chain. 

Let this day be your day of freedom.

Blessings:

The Mayne Man

I Have A Dream (poem excerpt)

Here is an excerpt of my poem entitled "I Have A Dream." The entire poem is in my debut poetry book Take It From Me: Cautionary Tales From A Former Fool (The You Can Take It Poetry Series: Volume I). Blessings to you all today.

I stand today and see the dream inside of me

It’s deeper than what my eyes can see

Look at me, I have ambition, I have a desire

Nobody can put water on this fire

I have this dream inside of me that’s growing strong

If I can bear the short-term discomfort, the dream won’t take long

I am encouraged, I am blessed, and I am a soldier in this fight

Because I’m strong in the Lord and in the power of His might

I can’t let anything tie me down; I have too much at stake

I know I have to press forward and do whatever it takes.

Never to neglect the Lord who blessed me and saved me

Because it is He who loves me and it is this dream He gave me

I have to fulfill it; I have to nurture it with all of my heart

Because He knew this dream was for me from the start

If Pharaoh and Dr. King can have a dream, then I can have a dream

And when it’s resurrected and affirmed, it’s not as distant as it seems.

If I neglect this, I’m letting you, God, and myself down

This is my time, and I’m turning this life of mine around

This is it! Destiny has to be fulfilled

I refuse to be tied down; that’s not God’s will

This poem might be hard for your ears, so it seems

But this is me, and I’m blessed to be living the dream.

Author Spotlight (Kelli Bolton)

I met this author in September 2013 at the BWABC Literacy Festival. I was privileged to sit across from her (that meant she had to put up with my jokes). Anyway, this sister has a glow in her spirit. Show your love for sister & fellow author Kelli Bolton.

Kelli Bolton is a compassionate young woman with a desire to see the Word of God set the lives of his people free.

She earned an Associate’s Degree in Early Childhood Development in 1998 from Columbus State Community College and a B.A. in Cross-Disciplinary Studies from Ohio Dominican University in 2004. It is at this time that Kelli acknowledged the call of a teacher on her life. She has spent the past ten years helping at risk youth and families through various programs such as; Conflict Resolution, Independent Living Mentor, Community Support Provider and ABLE/GED Instructor.

In 2000, Kelli received a prophetic word concerning writing, it was in 2001 that she started her first book “A Good Man or a Godly Man, Which Do you Prefer?” Again in 2005, she received the same word, this time with an emphasis on “books”.

Not sure what God was doing on leading her to do, Kelli continued to write. In March 2009 Kelli was inspired to write a book about teen dating and domestic violence after the recent incident between young Hollywood’s hottest couple. Through Kelli, God is showing young people what real “love” looks like in her book “You Said You Loved Me”. Now she has released her second novel titled “Church Gossip” addressing a serious matter in many churches today. Kelli’s hope is that people will look beyond the title and allow the message to mend those that have been broken by the judgmental attitudes of people in church.

Kelli is a faithful member of Agape Family Worship Center under the leadership of Pastor Yolanda Tolliver where she is actively involved in ministry as; Administrative Support Staff, Deaconess in Training, Helps & Hospitality Ministry, Intercessor, and Youth Sunday School teacher . She enjoys fellowship with family, friends and the body of Christ. She is also a member of the Columbus Christian Writer’s Association. She has had two articles published in the online magazine First Lady Magazine and is credited as a contributing author.

She and her husband Vernon have three children whom are deeply committed to training up the way that they should go.

Why The Judicial System/Government Allows Authorities To Abuse The Abused

This was not a planned blog, so God is in control of this one. I will continue the series why the judicial system is failing abused children, but I believe God wants this out so justice is served for hurting survivors.

One thing I do is educate and speak on things. I don't want to leave people with the feeling of sorrow and pain, but I want you to be able to rise from where you are to show that YOU are not only a survivor, but YOU are loved, and cared for in a world where you feel forsaken (when those who say they love you take advantage of you).

So, why is the judicial system and/or the government allowing authorities (such as the police, jailers, those in leadership positions) to take advantage of abused victims? Well, the easy answer comes from Ecclesiastes 8:11 - Because the sentence against an evil deed is not executed speedily, the heart of the children of man is fully set to do evil.

I can tell you straight up that an alarm needs to ring when abused survivors of sexual abuse, domestic abuse are in mental institutions, failing to give victims the help (natural and spiritual), and as a result of their failure, the survivors institutionalized become suicidal (not all, but some do). I found out a moment ago that women who suffered abuse, traumatized, and institutionalized are stripped down to nudity. Now let's add to this trauma that women go through, the male jailers mock them and rape them without getting caught. I can promise you God is watching them. To me, the sad part is that the judicial system and/or government knows about this and allow it to continue under their watch and ours. Not only that, but they will just hand medication to survivors as the ultimate remedy. 

I pray for every abuse survivor (regardless of where they are because I am one, but more importantly because they are worthy of love and God loves them too). I pray for the government and judicial system because they are going to have a lot of blood on their hands if they don't repent for their actions. I pray that every survivor receives a double blessing for the pain they suffered that no man (or demon in hell) can take from them. 

To my fellow survivors, we're still alive. I love you all dearly and we have stories to tell. Let your voice be heard, for we can and WILL change the world. You can (and WILL) thrive - and I say this to me too. We need each other to survive and I will try my hardest to not harm you with the words from my mouth. 

Blessings:

The Mayne Man

Author Spotlight (Jennifer Hayes)

I met this author at the BWABC Literacy Festival (held in Memphis, TN) in September 2013. I didn't get a chance to talk her like I wanted to, but the little that I did find out from her, she has a story to tell. She won the 2013 BWABC Female Author of the Year Award. With that said, show your love for my sister & fellow author, Jennifer Hayes.

With more than 14 years in the dating industry, Jennifer J. Hayes has the passion and dedication to helping her clients find love that lasts. She believes in love, fully, and won’t stop until everyone around her has what she has. Through her career in the matchmaking field, as well as her dedication as the Love Guru, Jei Knows It All, she ensures her clients have all of the knowledge and assets to sustain a passionate, meaningful relationship for a lifetime!

Throughout her journey as a wife and a mother, Jennifer has learned what it takes to have it all. She is never one to skimp in an area of her life, and knows that if you want it all, you have to commit it all!

Jennifer considers herself blessed and fortunate, and therefore is concerned with community efforts. She is constantly dedicating herself to philanthropic efforts, causes such as Heart Disease and Breast Cancer, and her awareness for literacy prompted her own foundation Iknowhowtoread.org.

“Love Big, and Live Big.” Jennifer considers herself lucky to know what it’s like to have passion and to have comfort. She’s never one to give only 50% and is excited to give her whole effort to trying new things. While the two loves in her life are her husband and her son, she constantly finds pleasure in finding new pleasures, such as authoring her debut book, Bound by Memphis.

Jennifer J. Hayes has a varied educational background in Communications, Education, a Bachelor’s in History, and a Master’s in Clinical Psychology. She earned both of her degrees from the University of Houston. Her work of published articles can be found in WorldOfLongmire, RelevantMagazine, and Single Lifestyles Magazine.

Bound by Memphis

Loosely inspired by true events, Bound by Memphis, by Jennifer J. Hayes, is the steamy, sultry romantic story of Jasmine Henderson, a successful public relations consultant who has everything she's wanted in life... Well, just about everything. Fourteen years ago, while planning her wedding to Melvin Brown, better known as MB, she was left at the altar with no explanations. Although she assumed she'd never move on, she ended up meeting and marrying the love of her life, Chauncey M. Henderson, and having a child, years later. It's when Jasmine's latest work venture places her in the city that holds memories to her past, Memphis, MB resurfaces when he learns she's back in town. Although Jasmine loves her husband, her son, and her life, she can't deny the passion and chemistry that she once shared with MB. Briefly away from her family and home in Dallas, Jasmine is left alone to deal with these emotions and unresolved questions of MB. She goes looking for answers to why he walked away. When forced to confront painful memories she awakens something she thought died long ago. In this novel, Jasmine discovers herself as she explores the depths of her former love versus her current life, and learns "Love doesn't change, people change." Bound by Memphis takes you on an insightful journey of love, joy, and pain, and gives a deeper meaning to why sometimes "you have to lose happiness to find it again."

 

 

Why The Judicial System/Government Is Failing Abused Children (Part 4)

This is Part 4.

It was pressed on my spirit (New Year's Day) to do a post on this topic. This is dear to my heart and it's my prayer after you read this, you will be moved to action. I now share my thoughts (intermingled with a fellow advocate or two) as to why the judicial system/government is failing abused children.

Article 1:
http://www.okcfox.com/story/24336336/police-woman-concerned-son-was-assaulted-kidnaps-man-and-slices-genitals

Article 2 (this one focuses on suicide – which the rate for children is increasing):

http://freepatriot.org/2013/12/31/5-year-old-girls-hangs-california-possible-foul-play/

Article 3:

http://freepatriot.org/2013/12/31/disgusting-mother-accused-sexually-abusing-children-agesa-8-33/

Article 4:

http://www.cnn.com/2013/10/25/world/americas/colombia-mom-sells-daughters/

When I think about the articles above, only one can shake their head. Not only do I shake my head, but I also cry for the children who are neglected, abandoned and left for dead (whether physically, mentally or spiritually). As I am an abuse survivor, I believe there should be justice as well as mercy. I’ll explain as I go.

The first article about the mother cutting off her abuser’s genitals, I understand her frustration (not justifying her actions), but at the same time, she needed to know if what she believed was really true. It’s sad that the justice system is more than willing to punish anyone who takes the law into their hands, but at the same time, they will turn around and let the abuser to run rampant. It’s not all the justice system’s fault, a lot of the blame resides in the family structure.

The second article sends chills down my back. To see children so young die for whatever reason is an adult’s worst nightmare. What makes this story so chilling is this: the mother and aunt were home when the girls hung themselves. I mention my thoughts on that in the final paragraph.

The third article should make everybody cringe. A mother (as you see in the photo cheesing away) sexually abuses her children. We spend so much time focusing on the abuser and not caring for those who can’t defend themselves. And here’s the sad part of this article: she’s being held on 2 million dollars bond on the charges of sexual abuse of a child under 12 years old and child neglect. No offense: if it had been someone of color, the abuser would be immediately in jail on a life sentence (or even worse, if an abused child tries to protect him/herself, they would end up in jail and the abuser gets a slap on the wrist). And we wonder why we are in the shape we’re in.

The fourth article takes place in a different country, but it actually angers me to the core. Now this is really destroy something beautiful that God created, virginity and purity! For a mother to have children and sell them to sexual predators is a heinous crime. The infamous question I have to ask is this: are the children being prayed for, in counseling? Their innocence was robbed! As for the mother, who was being extremely selfish and devilish to rob these girls of their virginity for money, she needs mercy (because I have a gut feeling she was molested) and justice for she knew of the crime she did! Rhonda Walker (author of Healing The Rage Within says this): This is sad and I feel for the young girls. What goes through a mothers head to make the decision to prostitute her daughters? I mean her daughters are in her image...why does she hate herself so much and why does she hate her daughters? We know hurt people hurt people so I wonder if this was done to her. I wonder if this is her norm? I Hope and pray her daughters get the help they need and for the ones missing, I pray they are safe.

It’s like the judicial system/government want these children to die. In fact, the government should go on and say, since we don’t like what God has ordained (the family structure), let’s break down the family by first and foremost strip the child from the family and then we will do as we did in the Bible days, kill children at will. Pharaoh wanted Hebrew boys under 2 to be killed and Herod wanted babies under 2 to be killed.

I ask this question in my fictional memoir Deaf, Dumb, Blind & Stupid: “And WHY, isn’t anything done to the parent or the abuser? How do we rectify this problem? Parents, you are to love and protect your children. Once you become a parent, it is no longer about what is convenient for YOU... you are now charged with caring for the life of your child until that child is able to care for him or herself. And one never stops being a parent, even until old age. So, what do we do? Say to the abused, “the Lord says to forgive and get over it?” That’s not an easy fix for someone who has suffered under the hands of the enemy who’s trying to kill them. To add insult to injury, no charges are brought up against the abusers who are in some cases even protected by other adults – and cursed is the victim. I’m not saying the victim should go on living life constantly as the victim, but in the midst of the abuse, why curse the victim?”

Why The Judicial System/Government Is Failing Abused Children (Part 3)

This is Part 3.

It was pressed on my spirit (New Year's Day) to do a post on this topic. This is dear to my heart and it's my prayer after you read this, you will be moved to action. In the final part, I will share my thoughts as to why the judicial system is failing. I will come back to the three articles mentioned in Parts 1 & 2, but I want to bring up a different article because this is outside the U.S., but it still needs our attention. Underneath the link (please read this), my fellow advocate Jean Marie is going to share her thoughts about this article.

http://www.cnn.com/2013/10/25/world/americas/colombia-mom-sells-daughters/

To me the most haunting part of this article is this.  "Police investigators say Zapata also forced her older daughters to drink alcohol and do drugs. Some ended up working as prostitutes and are missing, police said."

With January being Human Trafficking Prevention Month I think it is important to face the erie presence of Human Trafficking.  Human trafficking rings are so skilled that once a person disappears into the ring you only have a few days to find the trail, after that the trail goes cold.  This is like a ghost in the night, stealing our children.  Once they are gone they are gone, lost in an erie underworld where they could have been murdered early on, or they could live a lifetime lost in the underworld of perpetual sexual slavery.  

Another haunting part of this story is this "When Zapata was standing in front of the cameras Wednesday, one of the reporters shouted a question to her: "Did you prostitute your daughters?" She answered: "No, my darling."  When you watch the video Zapata first takes on the visual expression of being a victim herself.  Take away the news and the police, if you saw her crying like this, acting the victim, would you believe her, would you comfort her?   We have a natural tendency to want to comfort those who are crying.  Like most perpetrators she has learned to use emotions as a manipulation.  Then when questioned about her heinous acts she takes on the visual expression of a comforting mother.  In her best motherly voice she says to a complete stranger "No, my darling."  Take away the cameras and police once again, and watch this perpetrator feign motherly love towards her children.  Would we believe the emotional mask, as she once again uses emotion as a manipulation?

I applaud the young lady that finally was strong enough to stand up to this mother-monster.  She then had to run for her life and hide.  If the other victims believed there was a safe way out, there was a trustworthy person to report to, then they might not be missing today.

 

Jean Marie

Find out all about me!

http://about.me/jeanmarie360