Should Women Knuckle Down To The Devil? (Domestic Violence Awareness)

This was just dropped on my spirit. I don't know if this blog post is going to restore marriages for women, but I believe this will save women's lives and set them free. Sometimes we harp on women for leaving their husbands when they are emotionally abusing, physically abusing to the point of death. I'm not just talking him throwing his fist at her, but also throwing hot oil at her, biting her ear off, and maiming her. I don't care if he is in the church or not, she should NOT have to knuckle down to the devil like that. For any person (saved or unsaved) to tell a woman she should stay in the relationship because God hates divorce, you are telling her to bow down to the devil because YOU want to see a Miracle. God would never tell anyone to submit to the devil. Men like that should be held accountable - a crime was committed. 

To tell a woman she should separate and pray is fine, but she needs to protect her life. God would never tell a woman to knuckle down to the devil with her life (and especially when her man is spitting on her, degrading her position as a wife, etc).

Yes. We are to present our bodies as a living sacrifice, but not at the hands of the devil. Now many people are not going to agree with me with this part (especially those who are adamant about God hating divorce). You see, if I were to hit a woman, you know, I know, God knows & the devil knows that you (and those close to you) would see to it that I'm behind bars. And to allow abuse like this to go on in the church, is a stench in the nostrils of God. The bridegroom doesn't hurt the bride, so how dare we give men in the church a pass to hit women and turn around and tell women to submit and pray for your relationship. She should pray, yes; but truth is, he stepped out of God's will and into the devil's hands (and truthfully, she's free). Now think about this: what makes you think the man is going to want a woman to leave a relationship when he has that much power? He (being used by the devil) will use the control that the woman (and those who are adamant about God hating divorce) to further torture a woman. Why? Because we are not tuned to the truth about what God wants in a marriage relationship and we want things to fit our little box. Truth be told: there's a strong chance that with the advice you're giving others, you wouldn't even do. 

So, what am I saying? Don't put yourself in situations where your life is in danger due to a violent spouse, don't allow a faith community to allow you to stay in a relationship where they condemn you for speaking out, and they advocate spousal beating and torture. Faith communities need to hold people accountable and stop focusing on miracles, signs & wonders without unity and one accord with God's Word. 

Women: can I make this small disclaimer? You might be a praying woman, and will not take any garbage from the devil; if you continually submit yourself to any type of abuse as mentioned above, you are actually submitting yourself to the devil to the point where your life is threatening. God wants you to be whole and for you to live in the fullness of Him.

As a bonus: to the right of this blog, check out the video Pieces of Me skit (based on my novel addressing domestic violence). If you can't view it there, just click on this link: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ChbC7HLcZuA

I pray that this will set you free if you are tired if knuckling down to the devil in the realm of relationships. Yes, it does take two to tangle in the relationship; acknowledge the wrong you've caused, and now it's time for you to be free to be loved by someone who is truly committed to God's Word. But more importantly, you should be free to love God for who He is. He's a healer, protector, provider, and a Savior who would never hurt you if You are in Him.

Blessings:

The Mayne Man

Why The Judicial System/Government Allows Authorities To Abuse The Abused

This was not a planned blog, so God is in control of this one. I will continue the series why the judicial system is failing abused children, but I believe God wants this out so justice is served for hurting survivors.

One thing I do is educate and speak on things. I don't want to leave people with the feeling of sorrow and pain, but I want you to be able to rise from where you are to show that YOU are not only a survivor, but YOU are loved, and cared for in a world where you feel forsaken (when those who say they love you take advantage of you).

So, why is the judicial system and/or the government allowing authorities (such as the police, jailers, those in leadership positions) to take advantage of abused victims? Well, the easy answer comes from Ecclesiastes 8:11 - Because the sentence against an evil deed is not executed speedily, the heart of the children of man is fully set to do evil.

I can tell you straight up that an alarm needs to ring when abused survivors of sexual abuse, domestic abuse are in mental institutions, failing to give victims the help (natural and spiritual), and as a result of their failure, the survivors institutionalized become suicidal (not all, but some do). I found out a moment ago that women who suffered abuse, traumatized, and institutionalized are stripped down to nudity. Now let's add to this trauma that women go through, the male jailers mock them and rape them without getting caught. I can promise you God is watching them. To me, the sad part is that the judicial system and/or government knows about this and allow it to continue under their watch and ours. Not only that, but they will just hand medication to survivors as the ultimate remedy. 

I pray for every abuse survivor (regardless of where they are because I am one, but more importantly because they are worthy of love and God loves them too). I pray for the government and judicial system because they are going to have a lot of blood on their hands if they don't repent for their actions. I pray that every survivor receives a double blessing for the pain they suffered that no man (or demon in hell) can take from them. 

To my fellow survivors, we're still alive. I love you all dearly and we have stories to tell. Let your voice be heard, for we can and WILL change the world. You can (and WILL) thrive - and I say this to me too. We need each other to survive and I will try my hardest to not harm you with the words from my mouth. 

Blessings:

The Mayne Man

Intimate Partner Violence (IPV)

What is Intimate Partner Violence (IPV)?

Well, according to the National Center for PTSD website, this is what it entails: http://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/pages/domestic-violence.asp

Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) occurs when a current or former partner uses behaviors or threats that can make you feel scared, controlled, or intimidated. A relationship in which IPV occurs is known as an abusive relationship.

IPV could include any of the following:

Physical violence: hitting, pushing, grabbing, biting, choking, shaking, slapping

Sexual violence: attempted or actual sexual contact without your consent

Threats of physical or sexual abuse: words, looks or gestures to control or frighten

Psychological or emotional abuse: humiliating, putting down, isolating, threatening

Stalking: following, harassing, or unwanted contact that makes you feel afraid

Relationships can be complicated in general. A relationship with IPV can be overwhelming and confusing. Sometimes it can be hard to know if you have experienced IPV. The following questions give some examples of unsafe behaviors that can happen in a relationship.

• Does your partner control all of the family income and budget? Control your work or your schooling?
• Does your partner keep you away from friends and family? Control you by questions and threats about what you do, where you go, and people you see?
• Does your partner put you down, or make you feel guilty or ashamed? Blame you for the abuse?
• Does your partner make or carry out threats to hurt your body or your feelings, or those of someone you love? Threaten to ruin your reputation? Threaten to take your children away?
• Does your partner scare you by breaking or destroying objects, or punching holes in walls? Hurting or threatening pets?
• Does your partner physically or sexually assault you or your children?

How common is it?

You are not alone. IPV can happen to anyone no matter how much education or money they have. IPV happens to people of all racial, ethnic, or cultural groups, and of any religion or sexual orientation. An estimated 22% to 31% of American women report experiencing IPV at some point in their lives.

How might IPV affect me?

You may not realize it, but the impact of IPV can reach far beyond the actual or threatened abuse. Here are some general examples:

• Experiencing IPV may mean that you have more physical health problems. Women with a history of IPV report 60% higher rates of health problems when compared to women with no history of abuse.
• Experiencing IPV may mean that you have more problems with your mood. IPV can lead to depressed mood, feelings of worthlessness, anxiety or worry, feeling emotionally numb, problems with alcohol or drugs, and suicidal thoughts and behavior. Your health care provider may assess you for posttraumatic stress disorder, substance abuse, and depression.
• Experiencing IPV may also affect your job or career. Women who had experienced IPV were found to be more likely to have periods of no work than those who had not experienced IPV.

Staying safe

Only you know what is safest for you and your children. What you may do to keep yourself safe may change over time. Whether or not you are in an abusive relationship, safety planning is something you can do now to help improve your safety situation. Some important safety practices are as follows:

• If you think that you or your children are in danger, leave the situation right away.
• Make a note of safe places within your home to go when conflicts begin to heat up. Avoid rooms with weapons (such as the kitchen) or with no exits (such as closets, bathrooms).
• Consider finding a code word to use as a distress signal to family members, children, and friends. Inform them in advance that if they hear you use the code word, they should get help right away.
• Pack a suitcase with items to take with you when you leave. Make copies of important legal documents (such as driver's license, social security cards, birth certificates, medical records showing previous injuries) and set some money aside. Hide these items in a place where your partner will not find them.
• Make a list of people and agencies you can call or go to in case of an emergency. Learn key phone numbers (such as the number for your local shelter, even if you think you won't need it).
• Talk with someone you trust. Even if you do not want to discuss the details of your situation, simply telling one person that you trust that you have experienced IPV and that you may need their support in the future can help.
• Consider talking to neighbors about calling police for you if they hear loud noises or fighting.
• Consider sharing your situation with your supervisor at work so that they might be able to help you with safety planning in your workplace.

What if I have children in my home?

If you have children in your home, here are some things you can do to to keep them safe and protect them from IPV as much as possible:

Ask your children straight out if they have ever been abused or experienced violence. Studies have shown that in 40% to 60% of families where there is IPV, child physical abuse is also present.

Develop a safety plan with and for your children:

• Tell your children about safe places to go in the home when conflicts heat up. Practice escape routes with your children.
• Teach your children whom to call for help in emergencies. Help them to learn important emergency phone numbers by heart. Very clearly explain to them how and when they should call for help.
• Some children may try to stop a fight or argument in order to protect their parent. They may get hurt as a result. Teach your children not to get in the middle of a fight. Teach them what to do instead when a fight occurs. (They could go to a safe place or call emergency numbers.)

Getting support

Many people who have experienced IPV have a hard time talking about it. Experiencing IPV can bring up feelings of shame and low self-esteem. These feelings can make it hard to seek help. Also, since violent partners often try to control and keep their partners away from their loved ones, experiencing IPV can make you feel alone. If you have been threatened, even indirectly, with harm to you or your loved ones, you might feel afraid of what could happen if you tell about your experiences or try to get help. It can take a lot of time and courage to decide to seek help.

Remember that although you cannot stop your partner's behavior (only he or she can do that), you can find support for yourself and your children. Stay connected to friends and family who support your health and safety. Also, many professional resources and providers are available and well-trained to help you in a private and respectful manner.

Pieces of Me Facebook Chat with Tremayne Moore

Come join me on Oct 23rd at 8pm on Facebook.

I, Tremayne Moore (the "Mayne Man") will be discussing my novel Pieces of Me and will be taking any questions you want to ask me "live" on Facebook.

Between now and the day of the event, I will be giving away a copy of my novel in paperback format (and yes, it will be autographed). More details to follow within the next two weeks.

Meanwhile, to the right of this post, please view the Pieces of Me skit (recorded August 3, 2013 at my release party). These are the first 2 chapters acted out in theatre style. Hope you like it. 

This chat will take place online at Tywebbin Publicity Author Chat:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/239772029512009/243878759101336/

RSVP today at:
https://www.facebook.com/events/253466521444809/?ref_dashboard_filter=calendar