Will You Be Made Whole? (Part 13: The Letter)

Hey Special One,

As you read this, I want to you know that you are beautiful, you are special, and most importantly, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. And for anyone to tell you otherwise, is not telling you the truth, nor is what they say that’s not who you really are the truth. So, let’s shine the light over that lie.

I see the best in you and most importantly, the God that I serve sees the best in you. I don’t know who discounted you or wrote you off during your childhood. Was it your mother, your father, your siblings, your aunts, your uncles, your grandparents, or was it other extended family members to include friends of family? I also don’t know who is currently discounting your true identity or worth right now, is it the man or woman that’s in your life? Is it a co-worker, or a stranger that really doesn’t know who you really are? It may be time to cut those ties, because your associates will either add value to you or devalue you. And I’ll say this, those who discount you, are actually devaluing you.

Whoever told you that you need to be the talk of the town and that you need to just be popular – just to get attention – is lying to you. I know your childhood wasn’t picture perfect, and neither was mine. May I encourage you right now and tell you that you are not your past. You are not what your abuser said that you are. You can be free, healed and whole. I know you have dreams, aspirations and goals. May I say that you may not be mentally ready for some of them just yet? There is a growing process that has to take place, and it starts with being comfortable in your own skin. So, you must ask yourself, do you love you? When you look in the mirror when you’re by yourself, what do you see? Do you see your past, your pain, your shortcomings, or possibly your mistakes? If you do, do you believe that you can learn from them, grow from them so you can eventually declare what was mentioned in the first paragraph that truly is your identity? No man, woman or other human being will ever love you unconditionally than God. And let me say that you don’t have to compete with others for your attention; you are beautiful just as you are. I see the pain when I look at you, and I know that you are doing all you can to masquerade it, but there are consequences if you’re not careful.

Whoever told you that you need to be a certain shape or size just so you can be attractive, is lying to you. Whoever told you that love has to hurt is lying to you. I know you are strong, and I don’t deny it, and when I look at you, I see the pain and the tears that you are holding on to because of the situations you’ve put yourself in. I know you are fearful of the next step in your life. Just know that fear paralyzes, and faith sets you free. You are more than what people say they are and you don’t have to live up to other people’s expectations. That old saying, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” is a lie from the pit of hell! Words have the power to hurt or heal. And you are not the negative words that clearly devalue who you really are. The people who talk down to you are people that are trying to build themselves up at your expense. Let them go, as they will do what they can to destroy you with their words. May I encourage you right now and tell you that you are not your past. You are not what your abuser said that you are. I know you are carrying a weight (not physical weight, I’m talking about weight of fears, hurt, shame, etc.), which is actually a burden, but our human bodies aren’t built to carry that weight. You can be free, healed and whole. I know you have dreams, aspirations and goals. Write down who you really want to be and desire to have in your life. So, you must ask yourself, do you love you? When you look in the mirror when you’re by yourself, what do you see? Do you see your past, your pain, your shortcomings, or possibly your mistakes? If you do, do you believe that you can learn from them, grow from them so you can eventually declare what was mentioned in the first paragraph that truly is your identity? No man, woman or other human being will ever love you unconditionally than God. And let me say that you don’t have to compete with others for your attention; you are beautiful just as you are. Once you divorce yourself from the opinions of others, you enter another dimension.

Just know my special one, you are uniquely gifted, and there is no one like you. Despite what you’re going through physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, and spiritually, God loves you and He is not punishing you. He has nothing but love for you, and I do too. May His peace surpass all of your understanding, and know that you can be free, healed and whole from everything that you’ve been through in your life. He can give you beauty for the ashes that you’ve accumulated in your life and He can restore your broken self-worth/self-identity if you will let Him.

Blessings,

The Mayne Man

Will You Be Made Whole? (Interlude: If I Could)

Good morning or afternoon, wherever you are in the world. I pray that God's love is touching you and you are walking in that love.

Many of you who have been following my blog for the past 2 years know that I have been on the series "Will You Be Made Whole?" Before I continue on, I want to take a moment and share something on my heart with you.

Back in 1993, there was a song recorded by Regina Belle entitled If I Could (and I believe it was also recorded by jazz legend Nancy Wilson). It's basically saying that I would do such and such to take the place of what you went through.

As I look at my life, I have seen a lot of things and met a lot of people. Of course, life doesn't hand everyone a rose, and because I have a heart that really cares, it can be real easy for me to be either misunderstood. So, if you are reading this, take a moment to locate where you are mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally. If you have suffered a lot in your life, I now declare a trigger warning. Please understand I don't mean any harm, I care about your freedom and so does Christ.

So reader, if I could cry the tears you cry because you have been lied to by your significant other, I would and I will. If I could cry for the pain of having to raise your child without help, I would and I will. If I could cry for the lack of support you get from your significant other, I would and I will. If I could cry for the pain you've endured in your relationship, I would and I will. If I could cry for the death of someone you loved or close to you, I would and I will. If I could cry for the ostracizing you've endured in childhood and adulthood, I would and I will. If I could cry for the abuse you endured in childhood, I would and I will. If I could cry for the hole in your heart as a result of your father being absent in your life (or was there but was a silent father), I would and I will. If I could cry for the pain you take on at the hands of your abuser (knuckling down to the devil), I would and I will. If I could cry for the pain you are experiencing as a result of your parents or family abandoning and/or neglecting you, denying your pain, and causing you to be the scapegoat, I would and I will. If I could cry for the lies you were told by a mate, family member, or those who said they loved you, I would and I will. If I could cry for the blockages in your mind, heart and spirit due to anything mentioned above, I would and I will. If I could cry for the shame you feel after having been manipulated, I would and I will. If I could cry for the torment you feel as a result of those in church who threw legalism at you to condemn you or puff themselves up over you, I would and I will. If I could cry for the anger you feel from church folk who talk you into staying bound and keep you from expressing true freedom, I would and I will. If I could cry for the view of God that arose as a result of your past, I would and I will. If I could cry for the hurt you feel and the help you haven't received, I would and I will. 

So, what is the underlying message to this post? It's very simple. I cry with you because we are to bear one another's burdens. We are all a part of God's body. And as I speak on burdens, our bodies aren't meant to carry burdens. You can be made whole, and more importantly, Jesus wants you to be whole. I know many of you want it and desire it, but you have to act on that in order for it to be a reality. You can try to rationalize it in your mind, that's not going to get it. The burdens are going to have to come off you as if you were taking off your wet clothes (did I say that). And as you take your wet clothes off, you leave them at the feet of Jesus, never to return from those wet clothes that have kept you bound. Just know that I love you reader, and here's to your freedom in Christ (and please don't let the devil whisper in your ear telling you to hold on to them).

Blessings,

The Mayne Man

Will You Be Made Whole? (Part 11 - The Past)

Well, first and foremost, Happy 2017 (considering this is my first blogpost for the year 2017). I know, I’ve been procrastinating, so I ask for your forgiveness. It’s ironic that I’m posting my first blog for the year on Independence Day – and I pray that this post will allow you to break free from the past.

I was blessed to listen to a Marriage Made EZ from October 2016. It featured my parents and the special guests were the gospel duo Mary Mary and their respective husbands. As I listened, I started to reflect on my past and my journey to being free from the past (and I am free in faith).

A few years back, I did a blogpost entitled P.C.A (Porn, Children & Abuse). If you didn’t read it, I invite you to read this before continuing on with this post.

http://mayneman.blogspot.com/2014/10/pca-porn-children-abuse.html

The reason why I did that particular post was to address something that was haunting me, and now I want to explain that post and expand from that post. Now there are some things that you may have gone through in your past, and God may be the only person you need to confess the pain and shame from your past. The reason I am going public with this P.C.A is my desire to help others. I also know that me holding my abuse, pain and the porn that I was exposed to that would affect me for years would create so much shame. And because of the pain of the past, caused some cynicism to creep up in my spirit, which I am getting out to totally shame the devil. And I’ll be honest, I was not only introduced to sex when I was 10/11, to porn when I was 11, and the same uncle would watch porn for the next 3 years that he would either borrow from his friends, or whatever my late father would leave in the house. I would see bits and pieces of it, and I will be honest, when I was in my teens and I would watch it, it was a bit of a love/hate relationship towards it. Part of me enjoyed it, and the other part of me hated it to the core. Interesting, isn’t it?  As I got older, realizing some things in my life caused me to have so much shame for all that I’ve done in my past.

Now, let me say something when it comes to shame (actually, Tina Campbell said this during that seminar, that was so eloquent). Shame and embarrassment should never eat at you, people will say whatever they want – in fact, they don’t even know the pain you’ve experienced. Everybody has issues, so there’s no need to be embarrassed. The devil will do everything he can to get you to hold on to it, because it will keep you down.

Once we bring our inadequacies to Jesus, nobody else needs to validate our deliverance. It’s so sad that we want to boast about other people’s shame over our own. I thank God today for Him saving my life, and for delivering me from the pain that I’ve been holding for 30+ years.

I ask that you don’t go through your past alone. In order for me to attack your past, then I’m leaguing with the devil, I need to attack the root that caused your pain, which is the devil – and by the way, he’s a defeated foe. This is the day to be free and delivered. The beauty of God is that He heals from the inside out, and there are so many who are looking for a cure to heal from the outside in.

And I’ll be honest, and please forgive me. Between sharing that particular blogpost, and this particular post, there is a bit of shame and fear coming out of me (and the main reason why I’m sharing this part of my life is to shame the devil) because of some of you reading this, will see me differently. And this is something I need to be delivered from, the opinions of others (and I am delivered by faith). Not to justify my actions and behaviors because it all starts with my thoughts, the main root is the lack of validation received in childhood and that I mattered.

Before I even attempt to close this blogpost, I want to say something else. My past may have been a little jacked up, whether it be my actions in school, the porn and movies I know I should not have seen at my age, or the partners I had during the course of my abuse. If I weren’t delivered from all of this, it would totally mess up my future, and reflect on every person I was with and the porn I had watched. What I realized is this, the devil was setting me up to fail and cause certain people in my life to abuse me to distract my future and not see God’s blessing when it really comes. Remember I mentioned about cynicism earlier? I could be like, she is not from God when she really is – it’s just my spirit is messed up, and I'm allowing the initial doubt to rob me of my future because of the pain I experienced in my past – fear of being in pain again whether it be physically, mentally or financially. The key here is for me to be free, and this is my declaration of independence from my past! If you desire to be free from your past, declare your independence from your past.

Blessings.

The Mayne Man