Why Leaders Burnout

In January 2014, Pastor Shantae Charles (who by the way is my developmental editor) and I were discussing about why leaders burnout. I was sharing one side as to why leaders are burning out in churches and she was sharing with me the other side. So, Shantae wrote what she sees in Part 1 and I write what I see in Part 2.

Part 1- Where Are The Laborers? 

From a leadership standpoint, I've seen Pastors burn out simply because they lack fellow laborers for various reasons. Some laborers insist on being served and never serving. Some laborers refuse training and equipping. Some laborers feel it is all on the leader to carry the load of ministry. Acts gives a clear example of why the office of Deacon was established: so that those preaching had time to give to the work of feeding the flock and that required time before the LORD. 

Acts 6 Now about this time, when the number of the disciples was greatly increasing, complaint was made by the Hellenists (the Greek-speaking Jews) against the [native] Hebrews because their widows were being overlooked and neglected in the daily ministration (distribution of relief).

2 So the Twelve [apostles] convened the multitude of the disciples and said, It is not seemly or desirable or right that we should have to give up or neglect [preaching] the Word of God in order to attend to serving at tables and superintending the distribution of food.

3 Therefore select out from among yourselves, brethren, seven men of good and attested character and repute, full of the [Holy] Spirit and wisdom, whom we may assign to look after this business and duty.

4 But we will continue to devote ourselves steadfastly to prayer and the ministry of the Word.

5 And the suggestion pleased the whole assembly, and they selected Stephen, a man full of faith (a strong and welcome belief that Jesus is the Messiah) and full of and controlled by the Holy Spirit, and Philip, and Prochorus, and Nicanor, and Timon, and Parmenas, and Nicolaus, a proselyte (convert) from Antioch.

6 These they presented to the apostles, who after prayer laid their hands on them.

7 And the message of God kept on spreading, and the number of disciples multiplied greatly in Jerusalem; and [besides] a large number of the priests were obedient to the faith [in Jesus as the Messiah, through Whom is obtained eternal salvation in the kingdom of God].

8 Now Stephen, full of grace (divine blessing and favor) and power (strength and ability) worked great wonders and signs (miracles) among the people.

The cares of the Believers needed to be met, but they were delegated to those not called to the feeding of the flock spiritually. When we are all operating where God has called, the message of the Gospel can spread unhindered. It is interesting that many desire to be fed new revelation, but as they clearly show above, Leaders need time to give themselves to prayer and the study of the Word. They cannot do that if they are encumbered about and overwhelmed with an office other than their own. That office is Pastoring. When it is neglected, it will show in the lives of the flock. 

I can't tell you how many comments I've had to endure that assumed that I wasn't "really doing much" with my time as a Pastor, not realizing that if a Pastor has not chosen the most important thing "sitting at the feet of Jesus" they really should not try to feed you from their soulish realm. I recently read a post that I believe sums up another area that Pastors struggle with: opening their heart to unreceptive people. Listen to these wise words from Dr. Matthew L. Stevenson III: 

On a few occasions, the Apostle Paul spoke to the assembly He held responsibility over regarding the position of his heart towards them.

He says in 2 Cor 6:11-13 "We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and ENLARGED OUR HEARTS towards you. We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. As a fair exchange—I speak as to my children—open wide your hearts also.

He expresses that He and His Team were leading a people whose hearts were closed towards Him. The Apostles heart was ENLARGED and OPENED in the direction of his people. His admonishment was to have them open their hearts towards His leadership.

Then again in another chapter, 2 Cor 7;2-3, He says this;

" Make room for us in your hearts. We have wronged no one, we have corrupted no one, we have exploited no one. I do not say this to condemn you; I have said before that you have such a place in our hearts that we would live or die with you."

This is so convicting and yet so enlightening. You will not get much from the personality of your leader, but that's not the part of him/her that's meant to impact you. You are meant to be partakers of what rests on his/her life. You will never get the most out of what rests on your leader if your heart is closed towards them.

Consider; IS YOUR HEART OPENED IN THE DIRECTION OF YOUR LEADER/LEADERSHIP??

Many a person has been disappointed because of what they thought they weren't getting from their leader, when the real issue is, when God assigns a leader to your life, he's not their to be your social buddy, but an instrument and conduit, that God's plans can be articulated and stewarded in your life. Maybe you aren't getting the fullness of what you should be getting because your heart is closed. This principle works both ways. As a leader, is your heart opened WIDE to those you lead?

- Dr. Matthew L. Stevenson III

I close with this: On both sides of the coin, leaders and followers, we need to be mindful of placing ungodly expectations on each other. The goal should not be: can I get my "money's worth" out of a leader or can I get my "service worth" out of a follower. The goal should be to serve one another in love, to spread the message of the Kingdom, and to see God's citizenship increase. Whether leading or serving we must check our motives and we must align our expectations with the Word of God. When we veer from how God has called his church to administrate, there is bound to be issues. Christ is the foundation. He laid it already. He's instructed us to build carefully, to not construct paradigms that move away from the foundation.

We must pray to the Lord of the Harvest to send laborers who are willing to serve in their field and gather the harvest of souls. The harvest is plenteous, but the laborers are few. Let's pray for laborers who love the Lord of the Harvest, their fellow co-laborers, and the harvesting of souls. 

Part 2 - I Want Control

Whether I'm visiting a church or watching TV, I am finding where the church is all about the leader and they want total control - and some will turn around and complain that they're burned out. It can extend down to bible studies and group meetings - where the leader will want you to confess their sins.

A few years back, a well known pastor was charged with having sex with another male. If it had not been for someone exposing their sin, the probability of him coming clean with his sin would be about zero. And many leaders feel today that they don't have to share their sins, and still maintain control. A critical piece to this control is that there is very little delegation (and if there is any delegation, the leader must ensure he is in control). Many leaders have forgotten James 3:1 where it says let there not be many teachers for they will receive the greater condemnation. A leader will be focused on church growth and ensuring that the congregation brings members to the church to boost his ego. Back to the pastor's story, the people who are in the leadership role should've held him accountable. Now there will be some leaders who will expose the sin to the congregation (but will be predicated if you're part of the leader's elite circle). But because the leader wants all the attention and all the glory, those are to hold the leader accountable either burnout (trying to keep the leader happy or to maintain their position). Either way, leaders who feel they want total control have no right to complain when they are burned out. That's the price to pay for wanting to be the main man. Many have to learn the hard way that the main man syndrome will kick your back side in more ways than one.

To close my segment (which is relatively short by the way – since I covered this heavily in two blog series in the beginning of 2013 entitled the AMCC & What Breaks The Heart of God), I say this: leaders need to know that if they burnout and don't let the body of Christ flourish in their gifts, they will scatter and the church can crumble.

We pray that you’ve been blessed by this.

Blessings:

The Mayne Man

Is Something Wrong (or Am I Just Losing It)?

Good morning everyone. Last night I was listening to a program and a lot of statements were made. I started to ask myself as I listened, is something wrong or am I just losing it. So, I would like to ask your opinion as you read these statements (and for some of them, I will add my $.02 worth), is something wrong or am I just losing it). Let's begin:

1. Many of you know that I'm an accountant by profession and that if we are audited by the IRS, we have to produce receipts (the typical statute is about 7 years, that's how long we must maintain our records). Many of us who have small-business owners have a greater risk of being audited. Anyway, let's add to this: what many of you don't know is that I work for state government (in fact for 12 years) as my day-time job. Now where I work, the IT section can pull every single e-mail I send & receive during my 12 years of being in state government if I ever had to go to trial or was under investigation. So...in the case of Lois Lerner, you mean to tell me that their computers crashed and you can't pull up their e-mails???? Is something wrong or am I just losing it?

2. Let's stay on the IRS for this statement as well. Now I'm aware that the IRS is a bureaucratic system. So, if I happen to have a political and/or religious view that someone within any bureaucratic system doesn't like, that means I stand a greater risk of going to jail? Now watch this, they get a taxpayer bonus as a result of putting the average taxpayer in jail. Is something wrong or am I just losing it?

3. This statement is touchy on many levels: it's interesting that we will give diapers and formulas to those who enter our country illegally, while single mothers in our own country are struggling to feed their families. Is something wrong or am I just losing it?

4. This one is personal since my late father & I served in the military (and I know many others who are serving [or have served] in the military): those who ignore the immigration laws can get medical care while our veterans are struggling to get medical care and end up homeless??? Oh yeah, and might I add that the bureaucrats (high in the chain) are getting bonuses for cooking the books (that means falsifying the financial statements). And let's not forget that our taxpayer dollars are finding their golden parachutes! Is something wrong or am I just losing it?

5. This one makes me laugh: those who are CEO's who own million-dollar companies can bankrupt them and get a bailout (let's not forget Tim

Geitner bankrupt Fannie Mae & Freddie Mac and was appointed in 2009 as Secretary of the Treasurer), but for those of us who work a 9 to 5 job are getting our wages & benefits cut (with no raises in over 5 years).  Is something wrong or am I just losing it?

6. It's been said from the White House that our biggest problem is climate change. Let's see ... Air Force One expels more carbon in a day than most of us will in our lifetime. Is something wrong or am

I just losing it?

7. We fight wars with other people's children since less than 1% of Americans will serve in the military, but we keep sending the same people to take bullets and step on bombs for a foreign policy that punishes countries that are our friends and make peace with countries that are our enemies. Is something wrong or am I just losing it?

8. This statement should touch every mother with children: we let terrorists lose but your kids stand a greater risk of being locked up for a non-violent drug possession. Is something wrong or am I just losing it?

Ok, I've probably said more than enough. So, I close by asking you is something wrong or am I really losing it.

Blessings:

The Mayne Man

White Elephants

I'm writing this on my way to DC (in fact, I'm on the plane). Before boarding my plane, there was a documentary on Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel that was shown at the airport. This episode focused on the government in other countries (primarily Greece & Brazil) and their endorsing white elephants (such as stadiums, and buildings for sporting events). Many civilians are complaining that the government is spending massive amounts of money for Olympic Games and for World Cup Games. After those games are over, the buildings are just there and nothing else is done in those buildings.

These same civilians are complaining (and rightfully so) because that amount of money that the government is spending could go to their healthcare. Now let's hear the other side. Those who receive the funding for the buildings say that the games are to boost the economy via ticket sales and sponsors and these revenues are to rebuild communities. The truth is that it actually goes back into the pockets of those investors and the government while those still living in the slums (in poverty-stricken areas) are left in the same condition if not worse after the games are over (in fact one single parent in Rio, I believe, said that she was being forced out of her home, not because she couldn't pay the bill, but because the building she's living in was to be destroyed so construction can begin to build a stadium for the Olympic Games). I pose this question: are we any different? Are there any white elephants in our own country? These white elephants in other countries have proven to be a waste of tax-payers money (and breaking the backs of the poor & middle-class). Again I ask, are we any different?

To me, all I hear is talk and no action. Does that sound like how many officials in politics and banking officials operate in our own country? It also shows that this group of rich are focused on themselves (while they say they're about helping, they're heaping for their own lusts). Notice I said that "group of rich," because not every rich person thinks that way. In fact, a true rich person does help people who want a hand up. Now here's where I say something that's not going to fly too well: the problem with us (especially in the church) is that many are complacent and want to rich to just fork over all of their wealth to them as a form of entitlement. Another problem I see is that we want our entitlements packaged a certain way. Example: if I am wealthy and decide to bless people not monetary, but via education and what I know about the tax structure and how to benefit (which I do by the way), some will get mad because the blessing they hoped for was cold hard cash on the spot. Now that is just selfish, saint or not! So I just showed there are two types of poor (those who are grateful for the help and those who just want to murmur & complain because they didn't get what they wanted, when they wanted it). 

Yes, I did go off tangent a little, but just because the governments are throwing good money after bad doesn't mean that we have to just sit and complain they're doing that. We can quote Deuteronomy 8:18 that says God has given you the power to get wealth. Sadly, we want wealth handed down without using the power given to us (and then complain when others are prospering). 

It is true that we are living in a time where the governments of the world (and the selfish rich) are looking out for themselves and will waste our money on white elephants, that doesn't mean we have to take on that attitude! To truly prosper, find out your assignment, have a plan, stop competing against your brother or sister, stop relying on handouts and have faith that God will see you through (and please take that first step of faith)! Don't be fearful, just do it!

Blessings:

The Mayne Man

A Call To The Five-Fold

This was not a planned blog, but my spirit is full this morning, and I want to empty it right now. I have a love for those called to the five-fold (regardless of your position), but there's something on my spirit that needs to be addressed to us specifically. I believe this blogpost is a call to the five-fold (Apostles, Prophets, Evangelists, Pastors & Teachers).

In 1 Samuel 3, we find The Lord calling Samuel. Many times we focus our sermons on the phrase, "Here am I Lord," and that's fine. What I want to focus on is this: Samuel was young and he was tuned to what God was trying to say through the prophet Samuel. Dropping down to verse 15, we find that Samuel was afraid to tell Eli what God had to say to Eli. Now I pose this question, have we in the five-fold become afraid to expose the spirits that creep up in our homes, our churches, etc.? I'm not talking about the obvious spirits (that we typically see in the news media, entertainment industry, and obvious sins in the church); but the ones lurking around in the church as impostors that are not so obvious: one being the lustful spirit (where sheep are lusting after the pastor knowing he or she is married); the second being the shearing spirit (it's mission is to take down members of the flock to satisfy their own lusts). Yes, we know are assignments, the devil knows it also. He also knows that if we don't call out those spirits mentioned above (and many others not mentioned), the entire body will be divided. We have allowed too many demonic spirits to get in the body (under our watch) mostly due to us being prideful in our office, but here's the real tragedy. When one who is really walking in their five-fold calls out the impostors, some will label him or her as the outcast. If nothing is done with the impostor, destruction is inevitable.

A question one might ask, how can you tell what spirit an impostor is carrying (especially if they are claiming to be part of the body)? Listen to the conversation - that's typically a tell all (and if their tone or facial expression shows traces of denial). Two examples:

1. If they sound desperate from a fleshly standpoint, you can tell there's a worldly desire unmet and they're trying to infect it on you (as a form of control).

2. If they push you or encourage you to stay in sin, then no matter how many times they talk about God, that's an impostor transformed into an angel of light.

Now, there may be some in the body just wounded (they are to be treated with care). Sometimes we can easily make the mistake and cast out the wounded and embrace the unrepentant impostor with the sole intent to decimate the body of Christ). We in the five-fold must be aware. We can easily focus on those with titles and holding them accountable (which we should), but if we don't watch those under our care; they can take us out, which is the game plan of the devil.

That was on my spirit this morning. I pray that this encourages you, for we have work to do.

Blessings:

The Mayne Man

The Pushers

On March 1, 2014, I posted this on FB: #Relationship101 (Part 7): 

Now if a man really loves a woman who's been battered, beaten, and suffered much pain via marriages, relationships, rejection, he will pray for her that she be complete in Him so when she thinks of her "exes," it won't be painful (meaning, she can think about it or talk about it and it won't be painful). She can move on and recognize that these men were nothing more than a demonic spirit who was trying to seize the woman (like Shechem seizing Dinah, or the serpent pushing Eve). 

I indicated there that I would do a blog on The Pushers. So here we go with this lesson:

When most people hear the word "Pusher," they will usually think of a drug pusher or someone trying to sell illegal things to someone else. But The Lord showed me something in the middle of the Relationship 101 series (if you want to read that, here's the link: http://mayneman.blogspot.com/2014/03/relationship-101-unedited.html?m=1)

Satan is the ultimate pusher. He looks for willing participants who will push his agenda; he looks for those who are naive - those who can get blindsided and not know that his agenda is pushed if not forced on them; he looks for those who are a threat to the Kingdom of God - he pushes those willing participants on those who are his threat; he also looks for those homes where there is no spiritual covering - this is where the devil pushes through the house (granted, he can easily walk in the house) and wreak havoc on entire families (parents and children). 

This can be broken up into many sermons just from what I said above, but I only want to focus on two things in particular.

1. If you go back to the first paragraph, what we find is a man named Shechem (a willing participant) pushing (actually forcing) himself onto Dinah. Delilah was a willing vessel but the men surrounded her were pushing the devil's agenda to destroy a man of God so they could worship their god. Now let's take those scenarios and set the scene in the time we're now living in. There are men (and women) who will push themselves onto someone of the opposite sex for the sole purpose of destroying their target's self-worth but more importantly, their target's identity in Christ. Yes, those men and women can be impostors (saying they love God but serving their fleshly desires).   In lieu of the first paragraph, if you are doing their utmost to live holy, and you run upon someone who's trying to get with you, first determine if they are a pusher (or if they are truly sent from God). One question to consider is this: how do you feel about sex before marriage? If they say they're ok first, then he or she changes their demeanor and starts pushing you (or mocking the fact that you're waiting), that's not a red flag, it's a black flag! They are a pusher. If these willing participants don't repent, be assured they have an end. 

2. This one is sensitive to my heart because I've seen this a lot in my life. This is where the home has no covering and the devil pushes right through the door and everyone is hooked (to the point of destruction). Parents and children are caught in this web and for many of them, all that's left is anger, depression and suicide. My prayer is for all infected but especially the children, for many of them have so many questions and they're not given correct answers. Some of their questions are:

1. Why are my parents denying what I went through?

2. If what I went through puts me at a risk for heart disease, why did God choose me to get it?

3. What can I do now considering I didn't know this was wrong though I'm reaping the consequences? 

4. People tell me to forgive and let the abuser get off with clean hands!

They are legitimate questions. Now here are some legitimate answers. 

To #1: Remember the devil is behind this and he pushed his agenda on an uncovered house. You now have the power to get covered, clean and live a victorious life. 

To #2: Your sickness does not lead to death. Now you have the power to take cautions to turn your situation around. Don't give up.

To #3: Part of it is for your testimony. Turn all of it over to Him and He will reward you double for your trouble. 

To #4: The first part is true, and I'm going to end this blog by answering the second part of the statement.

The pusher has an end (especially if he does not repent). You have so much to live for, so live. These pushers (and those who know they are doing wrong), are living without a care (and are probably unaware they are going to the lake of fire - and could care less about that). If you have broken from the pusher's stronghold, live! Don't let their strongholds keep you from living the abundant life you're supposed to live (and get this, as you're living the redeemed life, there's an assurance you will receive crowns in glory)!

Blessings:

The Mayne Man

Why Abused Victims Remain Victims

There are many reasons why abused victims remain victims: suppression, anger, unforgiveness, lack of counseling or therapy, bondage of Satan, their lack of wanting to be delivered and the church. The last one, "the church," will be the focus of this blog. 

First and foremost, I am an abuse survivor (and speaking on this is my area of specialty), and second of all, I became a Christian in 1996. So, how does the church play a role as to how some abuse victims remain victims? Within the first few years in my Christian journey, many churches had deliverance ministries. Now, it's almost unheard of or if there is one, it's for show and to promote one's ministry. As I observe people in the church (of course, not every church will fit this), I find that attitudes are snobbish and leaderships are more focused on control and church growth. 

I was provoked to address this after reading a Scripture this morning. It reminded me of a ministry call that I listened in on last night, and what Prophetess Tera Hodges tweeted over the past weekend.

The call last night focused on deliverance and the lack thereof in ministries today. The guests that were on the program were reading my mind as I listened. Many churches see no need for them, or they are following the tradition of their denomination, or they have leaders don't know about deliverance (or don't want to know), or their focus is on church growth and mind control. 

Prophetess Tera Carissa Hodges over the past weekend was tweeting on churches using mind control techniques to control people in the congregation. I have known about it for some time, but I guess now it's more prevalent and many in the congregations are sleeping. When mind control is implemented, no one can be delivered from the issues they face, because the focus is on the leadership's demands and the congregation's time, talent & resources solely belong to the local church. And that can be very dangerous.

The Scripture I read this morning was Isaiah 61:1-3. The focus was on Christ coming to heal the broken hearted, those who are afflicted. In short, those who are hurting and bound. As I think about the topic and why deliverance fails for those who need and want deliverance (there are those who don't want it - and I'll discuss shortly), it fails mostly because of our attitude and self-aggrandizement. What are some examples? 

1. When you yell at a hurting soul saying, "you are bound by Satan and you need to be delivered!" If anything, you just destroyed your witness. That statement is true, but it didn't require your yelling.

2. When you yell at a hurting soul saying, "You are in sin because you're acting out of anger!" That may be true, but that leaves the impression that they have no chance of redemption.

3. When you yell at a hurting soul, saying, "So what if you're rejected. You are in sin because you were rejected!" This is completely false. They're acting out what they only know. Most cases, the house they grew up in was so far from Godly, that's all they know. 

4. This one irks my nerve. You speak in a condescending to a hurting soul, "I'm sorry you're hurt, I'll pray for you." But it's a one-minute prayer. Now if it's someone in their AMCC circle that's hurting, they'll stay with them all day and all night. AMCC stands for American Middle Class Church - where it's all about me, my family & my clique. This mentality only focuses on their circle being delivered and nothing hinders their world.

Jesus had compassion on those He delivered and the focus was on who He is. Many of us force deliverance on those who may not want to be delivered or as was stated on the call last night, they call out the wrong thing to be delivered out of someone. Never force deliverance on those who don't want it. But leadership needs to be aware when people are hurting and need deliverance.

I was glad when Apostle Clary posted on her wall a question why deliverance is lacking. My response was because it's about growth and also so the leaders can prove they are in control. If you're not on the pastoral staff (or if you're not part of the clique), you're not authorized to minister to a hurt soul in the congregation. There are many gifts within everyone's congregation and it frustrates me at times when leaders want some control (and then they're burned out). Don't get me wrong, I get that there needs to be order in churches (and believe me, there are many that are out of order and need it severely). 

Now here's my two cents on how we can help abused victims become victors (and believe me, this is not hard to implement). This comes from my novel DDBS (and this is how I was treated by some in the church world when I was going through).

It's amazing to me how we treat each other, especially if we say we’re Christians. A person who’s lost, depressed or has suffered under the pain of domestic, physical, sexual, or emotional abuse can have a gun to their head, and we have the unmitigated gall to simply say, “I’m sorry,” or “I’ll pray for you.” That’s not helping a hurting soul – in fact, you’re enabling them. Try coming out of your comfort zone for once and stop being so selfish. Try saying ‘Can we talk about this? I want to listen to you, and you have my undivided attention.’ Talk to me somebody! Band-Aids and clichés and prideful statements like, ‘I'm the leader,’ or ‘come to me with every problem you have’ only to make you the poster child or for you to be chastised; though I don't have to share my problems with you unless I reveal what I want, will never heal a serious wound in a person who really needs healing for their mind, body and soul. We do need a healing for the soul of mankind, because mankind is full of darkness and death. Let's try giving unselfish love and compassion away. Someone needs it! If we as a church don't want to bear burdens or pray, we are rendering ourselves motionless-- together we stand, divided we fall. Love is lacking in these last days. Yes, some will say it's not their fault; again, it's on them, and they have to answer to God for how they treat people.”

Pray for those who don't want to be delivered, and be a vessel for Him if you run across someone who wants to be free. It pains me to see abused victims remaining victims. All it's creating is angry souls who become bitter with life, God and themselves.

In closing, just know that this post is not going to go unchallenged. The enemy is mad! I started writing the post and was near the end, and the post was wiped out not by my doing. So, I had to retype it (and now I believe this is more powerful - smile)

Blessings:

The Mayne Man

Why We Must Progress From Victims to Victors

Good morning everyone. This was not a planned blog. I was reading a book (actually I'm reading it for the third time), and a thought came to me. This book is actually a finance/accounting book (which accounting is my profession), but at the same time I'm an author and an abuse survivor. Now, having said that we must help victims become victors. 

This book made a reference to people who live in a society known as the Victim Society. Many who have suffered in life will want sympathy and do need it, the catch is they want to stay a victim for the rest of their lives. What are the pitfalls if staying in the Victim Society? Well, being a victim means that someone else has control over your life. I understand you want to be free, I understand you went through, but please don't tell me you still want your abuser (or those who neglected you) to have control over your life. That's what being a victim entails. So, if we can get the word "victim" out of your vocabulary, that's a start. Now I don't want to minimize your trauma, but the mere fact that you're still alive is proof that you're a victor. What was to destroy who you are as a man or as a woman didn't permanently defeat you. So, if you don't want an abuser or someone who is waiting for your downfall to have any more control over you, declare that you are no longer a victim, you are a victor and are now responsible for the choices of your life. Your status as a victor is more threatening to those who harmed you than your status as a victim.

Blessings!

The Mayne Man