The Woman, Her Mate & Her Pastor

In a culture where people want to be so independent, we fail to see that independence, if left unchecked, will breed selfishness. I posed a question to Pastor Shantae Charles to get a woman's viewpoint on this very topic. It grieves my heart when people become so independent that they desire to tear down another person's identity in order to make them feel better. 

Now, I didn't grow up in church during my childhood, and it wasn't until I left home when I started going. One thing I have seen is this pattern: the men are in leadership positions, and get this: the majority of the congregation is women (married and single). And in some churches, people in the pews are lusting after their pastor or someone in a leadership role. So, I don't know if this left a bad taste for women to feel that all men are unlearned when it comes to the Bible, or they sense that if he is a man after God's heart, I must prove myself and tear him down to prove who I am and that I know more than him. That's truthfully pride and ego, and it's also a sin. Understand, the devil is destroying the family and keeping the head away from the church. I didn't plan to say this, but if he can separate a man from a woman, both are in danger. This is why it's so important for men & women to cover each other, grow with each other, pray and intercede for each other, and ensure they both speak words of love and respect for each other. There is no room for stripping a man's identity to prove your independence, and there's no room for tearing a woman's confidence to prove your manhood.

Ok, that was not in the script, but praise God for that. Now let me get back to the message. What I'm about say may offend some women but it's not my intention. I have an utmost respect for you ladies and I believe God has empowered you with a power that is unstoppable. If used for His Glory, it's a sweet aroma. If not, it can wreck a home and the lives of yourself and your respective spouse.

I have seen cases where a man and a woman get married, and the woman will do everything she can to undermine her husband. She will start comparing her husband to her pastor, listening to her pastor more than her husband and in some cases, she will even place her pastor over the Bible. Now with that last part: we all have a tendency to put our pastor and church over the Bible. Now if this leader tickles the ear, there's a strong possibility she will start listening more to her leader over her husband. Comments such as "the pastor said," or "what do you know, you're not a leader." One of my brothers was in the military and he had orders to move to another state. His wife was so involved with the church and the teaching that she abandoned her husband (and marriage) to stay close to the church. This brother is a man of God and is truly a brother to me. 

Regardless of where the husband is in his life (but for the purpose of this blog, I'm referring to a man seeking the heart of God), it can crush his spirit and leave a feeling that he's not respected. He truly loves his wife, and his faith is truly secure, but his ability to speak into his spouse's life is hindered tremendously. 

Now that I got that out, let me invite Pastor Shantae Charles to my blogpost. It's great to get feedback from women and I have learned with my writings, a woman's touch enhances what I'm striving to convey (smile Shantae & Cynthia - those are my editors for the benefit of those new to my blog). Pastor Shantae, I have a question for you: do you find that some women will put a pastor, prophet, etc. over their spouses? Granted, the spouse makes mistakes, they're human, but is it dangerous to put a church leader over their spouse or put both over God?

Husbands are the direct spiritual covering for their wives. However, if he is unbelieving, Paul stated her prayers could cover the family.

Pastors oversee our spiritual life in general. They are not God.

A woman with no husband is first covered by God, her natural father, and her spiritual leader, not as husband, but Shepherd. This is where singles get in trouble. Your Pastor is not your husband (or wife). Ref: 1 Corinthians 7:13-14.

Thanks a bunch. And all I can say to that is Amen. You all be blessed today. 

The Mayne Man

Relationship 101 (A Woman's Response)

Earlier today, I posted the 3rd Revelation of Relationship 101. Now as I promised, here's a response from a woman's perspective to the same 3 questions.

I asked Pastor Shantae Charles & Evangelist Marva Johnson to weigh in on these questions. So, without further delay, let's get into it.

Question 1:

In the realm of relationships (marriage), would you say that for a man, a protector is who he is or are there things he can learn to be better equipped as a protector of his wife and kids?

Pastor Charles: There are always things a man can learn to be a better protector. Practically, he can receive mentorship or take classes in his weak areas. Spiritually, he can read the Word of God which is laced with much wisdom throughout in nearly every area of life.

Evangelist Johnson: The way that God created men, that's one of Adam's responsibilities. At the same time, a woman has to know God first as her husband. It's important that a woman knows that it's God first, especially if a woman has been in a toxic relationship (abuse, abandonment, etc.). Those relationships leave holes in a woman and if she doesn't know God as a protector first, she will put undue pressure on the next man to ensure what happened before doesn't happen again. A man is supposed to protect and provide, but there's a lot that a woman needs to be and to do for a relationship to be balanced. 

Question 2: 

There are some men who can claim to be protectors, but are impostors. What can women do in this case?

Pastor Charles: Women can pray and seek God first of all. They can ask for God's discernment to expose impostors. They can also introduce the person of interest to men they trust who can give an honest assessment of the person. A man's night out with some of your male friends can expose what he may keep hidden from your view as woman (like a wandering eye, for instance).

Evangelist Johnson: Sadly, this is a time where the very elect will be deceived (in fact, Jesus said if it were possible, even the very elect will be deceived). There are many impostors, predators, vampires & pimps in the church. 

If a woman is in the Word and spending time with God, she can protect herself. The only way a woman can be deceived is if she wants to be deceived. The Holy Spirit sends flags (and examples in the Word). Adam didn't have to eat that fruit, he CHOSE to. The same holds true for women and men too. Women need to go slow and not get caught up in emotions. Slow & steady wins the race. If you're caught up in emotions, you'll miss the signs (and the devil will come as an angel of light). Look at relationships like layers. You have to peel and peel till you get to the core. In fact, the further you peel, the more it burns your eyes. Chefs will tell you to put an onion in the freezer for 15 minutes. If a woman keeps herself cool (and under control) she can read the signs. In fact, 6-9 months you'll start to see who he is. If a woman is connected to God, impostors will eventually be exposed. 

Question 3: 

There may be men who may feel like they are not prepared (or they are but the enemy is attempting with every fiber to get in his mind to say "you're not prepared, she can see through you, or you're trying to win her over)," what can the men & women do? 

Pastor Charles: There is a level of preparation that has to occur, but I also see preparation used as a stall method for being indecisive. If you are not ready, get ready. If you are not ready, give yourself a time frame that you will seek to be in preparation mode (6 months to a year), focusing on things you see that may need to change in you. Don't let it be an open-ended phrase, because you will not prepare. 

Evangelist Johnson: Prayer and fasting is it right there. When you can't do it, God can. He will give you insight on what to do and not to do. The key is to stay open before The Lord for that's going to help protect your wife and kids. Know what your call is and what battles you have to fight. Once you get out of the emotional realm, it's easier to get into the spiritual realm for that person God called you to. Men need to govern themselves according to Scripture. A man needs to lead himself before he can lead his family. There is a difference between single and being married. When he gets married, things will shift because your wife and kids now is your ministry; but he must maintain his relationship with The Lord. When he's single, he could just focus on The Lord, marriage requires a shift. One more thing a man needs to do is to cast down every thought that comes against God and against your mate. A book I recommend is by John Eckhardt entitled Prayers That Rout Demons. 

I pray this has blessed someone.

As you have read both of their responses, don't be surprised if you see Shantae's responses again in Volume 2 of Robert & Shantae's marriage series. If you want to get volume 1, here's the link (and it's only available as an e-book).   

http://www.amazon.com/Church-B-L-I-S-S-Believe-Sacred-Special-ebook/dp/B00IH5H440/ref=sr_1_6?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1409442442&sr=1-6&keywords=Shantae+A+Charles

In closing, Shantae did a lesson on Broken Ribs. I encourage you all to check this out. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOEUyD_s70o&list=UUAJ3403CdrZraIiL8JHDRJw&index=4

The Attack On Women

Now I’m not sure how people are going to react to this particular post, but as I hear about what’s on TV today, I can truly say there’s an attack on women. But I’d like to take it from this point: there has been an attack on women since the times of Adam & Eve and yes, the devil will be the focal point (now I’m not glorifying him, just making that clear) and why he is so mad at women (he’s mad at men too, but I believe not to the extent of him being mad at women).

When the devil used the serpent to talk to Eve, she ate and gave to Adam. Let me move to the place where God was questioning Adam & Eve. Eve stated that the serpent made me eat. The immediate judgment that came from God was on the serpent.

As I’m reading Matthew Henry’s commentary on Genesis 3, he said this and I think this is very important (here's the first excerpt): God immediately proceeds to pass sentence; and, in these verses, he begins (where the sin began) with the serpent. God did not examine the serpent, nor ask him what he had done nor why he did it; but immediately sentenced him, 1. Because he was already convicted of rebellion against God, and his malice and wickedness were notorious, not found by secret search, but openly avowed and declared as Sodom’s. 2. Because he was to be for ever excluded from all hope of pardon; and why should any thing be said to convince and humble him who was to find no place for repentance? His wound was not searched, because it was not to be cured.

Dropping down (for this is a lengthy commentary, but I want to focus on the part where God said that he will put enmity between the devil and the woman). Excerpt #2:

He is to be for ever looked upon as a venomous noxious creature, and a proper object of hatred and detestation: I will put enmity between thee and the woman. The inferior creatures being made for man, it was a curse upon any of them to be turned against man and man against them; and this is part of the serpent’s curse. The serpent is hurtful to man, and often bruises his heel, because it can reach no higher; nay, notice is taken of his biting the horses’ heels, ch. 49:17 . But man is victorious over the serpent, and bruises his head, that is, gives him a mortal wound, aiming to destroy the whole generation of vipers. It is the effect of this curse upon the serpent that, though that creature is subtle and very dangerous, yet it prevails not (as it would if God gave it commission) to the destruction of mankind.

Excerpt #3:

Here are three things concerning Christ:—(1.) His incarnation, that he should be the seed of the woman, the seed of that woman; therefore his genealogy (Lu. 3, ) goes so high as to show him to be the son of Adam, but God does the woman the honour to call him rather her seed, because she it was whom the devil had beguiled, and on whom Adam had laid the blame; herein God magnifies his grace, in that, though the woman was first in the transgression, yet she shall be saved by child-bearing (as some read it), that is, by the promised seed who shall descend from her, 1 Tim. 2:15 . He was likewise to be the seed of a woman only, of a virgin, that he might not be tainted with the corruption of our nature; he was sent forth, made of a woman (Gal. 4:4 ), that this promise might be fulfilled. It is a great encouragement to sinners that their Saviour is the seed of the woman, bone of our bone, Heb. 2:11, Heb. 2:14 . Man is therefore sinful and unclean, because he is born of a woman (Job. 25:4 ), and therefore his days are full of trouble, Job. 14:1 . But the seed of the woman was made sin and a curse for us, so saving us from both. (2.) His sufferings and death, pointed at in Satan’s bruising his heel, that is, his human nature. Satan tempted Christ in the wilderness, to draw him into sin; and some think it was Satan that terrified Christ in his agony, to drive him to despair. It was the devil that put it into the heart of Judas to betray Christ, of Peter to deny him, of the chief priests to prosecute him, of the false witnesses to accuse him, and of Pilate to condemn him, aiming in all this, by destroying the Saviour, to ruin the salvation; but, on the contrary, it was by death that Christ destroyed him that had the power of death, Heb. 2:14 . Christ’s heel was bruised when his feet were pierced and nailed to the cross, and Christ’s sufferings are continued in the sufferings of the saints for his name. The devil tempts them, casts them into prison, persecutes and slays them, and so bruises the heel of Christ, who is afflicted in their afflictions. But, while the heel is bruised on earth, it is well that the head is safe in heaven. (3.) His victory over Satan thereby. Satan had now trampled upon the woman, and insulted over her; but the seed of the woman should be raised up in the fulness of time to avenge her quarrel, and to trample upon him, to spoil him, to lead him captive, and to triumph over him, Col. 2:15 . He shall bruise his head, that is, he shall destroy all his politics and all his powers, and give a total overthrow to his kingdom and interest. Christ baffled Satan’s temptations, rescued souls out of his hands, cast him out of the bodies of people, dispossessed the strong man armed, and divided his spoil: by his death, he gave a fatal and incurable blow to the devil’s kingdom, a wound to the head of this beast, that can never be healed. As his gospel gets ground, Satan falls (Lu. 10:18 ) and is bound, Rev. 20:2 . By his grace, he treads Satan under his people’s feet (Rom. 16:20 ) and will shortly cast him into the lake of fire, Rev. 20:10 . And the devil’s perpetual overthrow will be the complete and everlasting joy and glory of the chosen remnant.

Anyway, back to the lesson, so what is the devil trying to do (to both men and women)? He’s trying to strip everything that God views as holy. As a result of the fall, blood had to be shed. When a man and woman enter to a marriage, a blood covenant is to be formed. Let me stay on this for a second. What’s the devil’s operation? To get blood to be unholy and to throw people outside of the will of God. As Matthew Henry stated earlier, God didn’t question Satan as to why he did what he did to Eve. But praise be to God for the cleansing blood of Christ! So, we as men of God, need to cover our women in prayer, and be able to intercede for our sisters in Christ. Satan’s plan to break down the marriage structure is increasing the more (marriage covenants are important to God). We can’t go on business as usual and calling what’s unholy as being holy.

Single parenthood was never the order of God (and I applaud every single mother out there). Satan is attacking women in this arena by breaking the backs of men to show that men aren’t stronger than women. As a result, they’re left with the burden of caring for the children. But praise be to God for the blood of Jesus.

So what’s the point of this post? Understand that we as humans are under attack by the devil. We need to cover each other in prayer and intercession, understand our roles as men & women and not give further access to the devil in our lives. For we can overcome these attacks if we are one accord.

Blessings:

The Mayne Man